The Fascination of the East

The following essay by JLH was prompted by our recent discussion of Carly Fiorina’s paean to Islam from September 2001.

The Fascination of the East
by JLH

Since the Baron turned up Carly Fiorina’s glorification of Islam as the culmination of a long speech that had otherwise to do with world business and Hewlett-Packard, I have reflected on where such an attitude comes from in the Western world. I have examined my own history of fascination with Islamic civilization, encompassing historical novels such as one with a hero who survived the life of a janissary and returned triumphantly home. And even earlier, I was enthralled by the romantic and appealing figure of Scheherazade in Arabian Nights, enticing one more night of life from the sultan by spinning yet another fabulous tale. I was in awe of her cleverness, never considering at that young age that the real story might lie in the fact that the sultan could simply command her death because he wanted to. And the tales she told were easily as magical and entertaining as the many tales that grew up around the Knights of the Round Table.

So I began to think about the fascination with the lands and cultures of Islam that has existed for a very long time in the West. How long, at least as far as I knew, it had been with us. And I thought back to one of my favorite 18th century skeptics — Gotthold Ephraim Lessing, who joined and then de-bunked the Masons. His friendship with the Jewish philosopher Moses Mendelssohn was no doubt a factor in his famous public feud with one of the Protestant Christian bigots of his time. He later wrote a play famous for its suggestion that the three great religions — Christianity, Judaism and Islam — could peacefully co-exist, as had a previous play by Voltaire. Great emphasis was put upon the chivalric relationship between Richard Lion-Heart and Saladin.

Lessing also spent time studying the great Persian civilization, and seemed to believe that the figure of “angels” was originally a Persian concept, absorbed by Judaism. His fascination with Persia was followed later by the man considered to be the greatest of all German writers — plays, novels, short stories, trend-setting epic and lyric poetry, nature studies — also a statesman, and ennobled by the Duke of Weimar so that he could circulate socially in the court. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe wrote the West-östlicher Divan cycle of poems celebrating the East and the great Persian poet, Hafiz.

Germany and France were not alone in their fascination with the “East.” In 1859, Edward FitzGerald produced the sensationally successful Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam.

James Henry Leigh Hunt, a British 19th century writer-editor-poet — unsuccessful almost his entire life — wrote two poems that lived long after him. I include the first — which is not on the subject at hand — because it demonstrates the emotional appeal he could generate.

Jenny kiss’d me when we met,
Jumping from the chair she sat in;
Time, you thief, who love to get
Sweets into your list, put that in!
Say I’m weary, say I’m sad,
Say that health and wealth have missed me,
Say I’m growing old, but add
Jenny kiss’d me.

Now you are ready for the second poem that was read and remembered by many, and served as an example of the perception of Islam:

Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)
Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace,
And saw, within the moonlight in his room,
Making it rich, and like a lily in bloom,
An angel writing in a book of gold:—
Exceeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold,
And to the Presence in the room he said
“What writest thou?”—The vision raised its head,
And with a look made of all sweet accord,
Answered “The names of those who love the Lord.”
“And is mine one?” said Abou. “Nay, not so,”
Replied the angel. Abou spoke more low,
But cheerly still, and said “I pray thee, then,
Write me as one that loves his fellow men.”

The angel wrote, and vanished. The next night
It came again with a great wakening light,
And showed the names whom love of God had blessed,
And lo! Ben Adhem’s name led all the rest.

Now, keeping in mind the nonsense we have heard from so many public figures, such as President Bush with “Islam is a religion of peace” (and keeping in mind the nonsense some of us — including me — have given voice to until and even after 9/11, because we really didn’t want to know), allow me to do the academic thing and repeat the poem with explanatory insertions:

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Father William Veers Left

JLH normally spends his time translating German texts for us. However, yesterday’s Supreme Court decision prompted him to take a break from the umlauts and eszetts to pen this poetic pastiche in the spirit of Charles Dodgson.

Father William Veers Left
by JLH

(with apologies to Lewis Carroll)

“You are Left, Your Honor,” the young man said,
“And your thinking is not very bright.
You ceaselessly stand the Law on its head.
Do you think what you’re doing is right?”

“In my youth,” said the Justice Supreme, “my son,
“I feared it might injure the Law.
But now that I’ve learned that there really is none,
I don’t care which way it might yaw.”

“You are Left,” said the youth, “as I mentioned just now,
And have grown quite mentally lazy,
Yet insist that the Law do a Triple Salchow
A thought that is palpably crazy.”

“In my youth,” the Justice Supreme then replied.
“I tried to keep on thinking.
But then I discovered this socialist bromide
Which I think everyone should be drinking.”

“You are Left,” said the youth, “and your mind is too weak
To delve deeper than The Washington Post.
Yet you give the Law and Constitution a tweak,
And instead of hiding, you boast.”

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Nothing to do with You-Know-What!

The following little ditty was posted today in the comments on Breitbart London:

If a jihadi cuts your head off
You shouldn’t get too perplexed
He’s only doing what he’s told
By a seventh century text
And even as you bleed to death
There’s one thing to recall
This isn’t Islam at all
Oh no, Good Lord,
This isn’t Islam at all.

If a Muslim crucifies you
Don’t be too alarmed
It’s written in his holy book
That infidels must be harmed
And even as you die of thirst
There’s one thing to recall
This isn’t Islam at all
Oh no, Good God,
This isn’t Islam at all.

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Hush Little Baby, Momma’s at a Meeting

This poem popped up somewhere in the labyrinth of the intertubes. In honor of the close of Mother’s Day (after which time I shall remove my hair shirt until next year), here is a poem of G.K. Chesterton’s written for the thoroughly modern mother and child.

His real target was education and “women’s rights” — both favorite totems of the Left.

The Song Of Education
III. For the Creche

Form 8277059, Sub-Section K

I remember my mother, the day that we met,
A thing I shall never entirely forget;
And I toy with the fancy that, young as I am,
I should know her again if we met in a tram.
But mother is happy in turning a crank
That increases the balance in somebody’s bank;
And I feel satisfaction that mother is free
From the sinister task of attending to me.

They have brightened our room, that is spacious and cool,
With diagrams used in the Idiot School,
And Books for the Blind that will teach us to see;
But mother is happy, for mother is free.
For mother is dancing up forty-eight floors,
For love of the Leeds International Stores,
And the flame of that faith might perhaps have grown cold,
With the care of a baby of seven weeks old.

For mother is happy in greasing a wheel
For somebody else, who is cornering Steel;
And though our one meeting was not very long,
She took the occasion to sing me this song:
“O, hush thee, my baby, the time will soon come
When thy sleep will be broken with hooting and hum;
There are handles want turning and turning all day,
And knobs to be pressed in the usual way;

O, hush thee, my baby, take rest while I croon,
For Progress comes early, and Freedom too soon.”

The Imaginative Conservative says:

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The Ravin’

Our German translator JLH has jumped the fence again. This time he has wandered into a thicket of poetic delirium rife with uncannily familiar cadences…

The Ravin’
Part II — EU Edition

With apologies to Edgar Allan Poe

Close upon a midnight dreary, as I pondered bleak and bleary
On whether my euro bond investments would sink or soar,
Though the hour was not quite witching, suddenly there came a scritching,
As of something softly scritching, scratching at my chamber door.
“It’s just some wayward kitten, scratching at my chamber door.
          Only that, and nothing more.”

And to mind I still can bring, it was a long and Arab Spring,
With a plenitude of rape and killing, on not-too-distant shores.
Now the scratching was not gone, but scritched and scratched and on and on
Until I could not bear the tension of the scratching at my door,
So I strode across the floor and opened wide my chamber door,
          And then went rigid to my core,

For, as the door was opened wide, something little slipped inside
And splished and splashed and left a trail across the parquet floor.
So I turned about in seeking what was there, and heard a squeaking,
Eeking kind of speaking, rising up from far below upon the floor.
And there a hamster dripping, dropping, seeping puddles on the floor,
          With a face I knew I’d seen before.

The council president of the EU! “Your Grace, Your Honor, so nice to see you,”
I said to the dismal, dripping little creature on the floor,
“but how are you the wight I see, and where have you been ere visiting me?”
“In your bushes, in the drizzle, when it really began to pour,
Under a spell by Le Pen or Farage or someone else to settle a score.
          Oh, the misery I bore!”

And as he squeaked, or spoke or… squoke — in a voice that often broke,
I feared that he had caught a chill and maybe even something more.
“Dear Sir, you’re palpitating, and the rain is not abating,
So allow me to share my fire with you and whatever is needed more,
And when the sun appears again it will be as it always was before.”
          Squoke the hamster: “Nevermore!”

“Oh, sir, I admit that it is pelting and we are certainly not melting,
But we have known cold rainy Springs and never missed a Summer before.”
“Do you not read le Monde, you ninny?! Turn on BBC and get the skinny?!
The rain will stay, the heat will rise, the poles will melt and flood the shore.
And carbon-belching mankind will avoid the result that we deplore,”
          Squoke the hamster, ”Nevermore!”

I said, “Does it not make you queasy, that the science is so sleazy,
Modeled on assumptions that there is no compelling evidence for?”
“Do not,” he said, “test my mettle! The science, as we all know, is settled.
Just ask the experts: Obama, NASA, the ineffable al-Gore!
Coal-burners have taken away the penguins’ icy shore,”
          Squoke the hamster, “Forevermore.”

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The Sesquicentennial Arrives

I was away most of the day on various errands; that’s why posting has been light — or, rather, non-existent.

My itinerary took me to Appomattox, and, as it happens, this is the big weekend — the 150th anniversary of the surrender of General Robert E. Lee to General Ulysses S. Grant, which took place at Appomattox Courthouse on April 9th, 1865.

The town was crammed with re-enacters and tourists, and police were stationed between the shopping center and the highway, and along Route 24 to the historical park, directing traffic. It had been raining relentlessly for two days, and all the parking fields looked nasty and muddy. The fields around the old courthouse village were full of tents, and men wearing the uniforms of both armies were in the Wal-Mart buying supplies.

Merchandise featuring the faces of Generals Lee and Grant was on sale everywhere. You could get T-shirts, posters, key chains, knick-knacks of any sort, as mementoes of the place “Where Our Nation Reunited”.

Well… Not quite. But who wants to spoil the celebration?

As I drove out of town late in the afternoon, a new line of squalls was just coming through, and it looked like another big column of rain was about to make a direct hit on the historical park. I didn’t envy those poor guys in their blue and gray uniforms camped out in the pup tents.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

The Civil War is the core event of American History, much more so than the Revolution or World War II or any other momentous occurrence. It is the wound that will not heal.

And Virginia is the epicenter of it all — more battles took place on its soil than in any other state. After Richmond and Petersburg fell, when the Army of Northern Virginia surrendered, it meant the war was over.

The last military engagement of that war — there were no more than skirmishes at Appomattox — was the Battle of Sayler’s Creek (often misspelled “Sailor’s Creek”), which took place on the boundary between Amelia and Prince Edward counties on April 6th, 1865. Accounts of the battle indicate that the creek was rain-swollen that day, much as it must be right now.

Many years ago Dymphna and I took the future Baron to a re-enactment of the battle at Sayler’s Creek for the 130th anniversary (it was fine weather that day). Afterwards I ruminated on the events of those times, and wrote the following poem, which I’ve placed below the jump.

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Your Days Are Numbered

The picture above is a color monotype print by William Blake, from a copy in the Tate that was impressed ca. 1805. It represents King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon during his time in exile, when he was driven into madness as a punishment for his overweening pride. I’ll be using the image for another post in the next day or so, but the process of hunting it down brought to mind the lyrics of a song by Robert Hunter called “Book of Daniel”.

The excerpt below describes the moment when the prophet Daniel was summoned to the royal palace of King Belshazzar, the son of Nebuchadnezzar, to interpret the words mene, mene, tekel, upharsin as written on the palace wall by a disembodied hand:

Daniel walked in bent but tall, spat upon the floor
Let me see these words… well, hmm — yes… I’ve seen them before
They simply mean your days are numbered; fact, they’re even run
You’ve been judged in the balance and found wanting
Your royalty is just a gift — your father learned that lesson
By losing both his kingdom and his reason

So great in pride he was cut down, driven to the field —
Lived there like a wild beast until his pride did yield
And when the king, your father, achieved humility
He was restored his kingdom and his sanity

And though you knew all this to start, you humbled not your heart
The writing on the wall commands your fall!

There seem to be an awful lot of Belshazzars in the world today, living in sumptuous splendor, ruling their peoples with an iron fist, and all the while offering sacrifices to the gods of silver, stone, and wood. No hope of redemption for them. No chance of learning humility the way Nebuchadnezzar did, eating grass in the fields like a wild beast.

For each of them there is a Darius or a Cyrus waiting in the wings to ring down the curtain on his prideful performance.

What shall be the end of this? How shall it pass away?
Get up, old Daniel, never mind, get up and go thy way
Further words are closed and sealed until the end of time
Many shall be called, each in his season
In wickedness of pride is lost the light to understand
How little grace is earned and how much given

Iran: Strangled by a Gordian Knot

Our expatriate English correspondent Peter returns with an essay about Iran just before the turn of the millennium. He includes this introductory note:

This is an item I first wrote in 1998, which covers a two-week visit to Iran taking in Tehran, Esfahan and Shiraz while I was en route from Delhi to Istanbul. I wrote it originally at the request of a friend who works for the BBC’s Farsi service, but the BBC decided not to use it or to pay me for the privilege of not using it. Apparently the views expressed were at variance with the BBC’s Middle Eastern policy, whatever that might have been.

The article is very much as it was when I wrote it, that is, my impression of Iran in 1998, but its relevance today is that when the inevitable violent revolution finally dislodges the governing theocracy, it will be seen that violence was the only possible way for the people to achieve the necessary change.

Iran: Strangled by a Gordian Knot
by Peter

April 1998

It was just after midnight as, in company with my fellow passengers, I finally stumbled into the bustling arrivals hall on Tehran airport, more than three hours after my flight from Delhi via Dubai had landed. The intervening time had been spent standing in a series of queues while a number of dishevelled hirsute men went through our baggage and other belongings minutely examining everything we had, presumably to ensure we were not bringing anything into their country that might in any way be considered improper, offensive, or undesirable. No sooner had we left one queue than we had to join another and yet another after that while different sets of plain-clothes ruffians rummaged through our things. After we had performed this particular ritual a sufficient number of times, the roughnecks who were detaining us must have decided that we didn’t have whatever it was they might have been looking for and allowed us to leave.

Although I was the only non-Iranian on the flight, I had not been treated any differently by the customs officials than had any of the other arrivals, although the same could not be said for passport control where I was removed from the queue by two more unkempt bruisers and escorted to the end of the line, clearly a discriminatory gesture but an understandable one since, unlike most EU countries, Iran was not burdened by a multi-billion-pound race industry.

It was another week before I saw Tehran in daylight. With its characterless, concrete buildings, some adorned with murals depicting the baleful visage of the late Ayatollah Khomeini or the more benign features of the current president Mohammed Khatami, I concluded that it had not been worth the wait. Indeed, Tehran appeared to be so devoid of any prominent landmarks that I had no idea how I would find my way around without getting lost, a misgiving I raised with my friends after the taxi had dropped me at their ground floor apartment.

Ali, his wife Soraya and their two daughters had been staying at the same hotel as me in Esfahan and they had adopted me to ensure I did not fall foul of any xenophobic activities in which some of the local inhabitants were known to indulge, or to prevent me from committing some outrageous though innocent blunder that might have brought me into contact with the Komite, a particularly virulent strain of religious police whose apparent role in Iranian society was to find out how ordinary people managed to enjoy themselves in this austere theocracy and instantly put a stop to it. Thanks to my new-found friends, I found out what most things cost, generally a lot less than they did in Western Europe, and that while the accepted currency was the Rial, worth about 1500 to the US dollar at the time, there was also something called a Toman worth ten Rials. There did not appear to be any denomination of banknotes denoting the Toman and I quickly decided that its only reason for existence was to make certain I paid ten times the going rate for any commodity I might need.

By the time I’d returned to Tehran, after spending four days in Esfahan and three more in Shiraz, I’d formed the opinion that Iran was a country that evoked many questions but offered few answers in return. For example, while I waited in baggage reclaim for my suitcase, I noticed a number of passengers from Kish Island, a duty-free resort in the Persian Gulf, removing articles from a carousel piled high with boxes containing the latest and most advanced Japanese technology and satellite equipment. Yet, in a country where communication with the outside world was actively discouraged by a Government, whose edicts were covertly policed by any number of sinister internal organisations, how could it be that people were openly unloading digital receivers and satellite dishes at a public airport without any apparent fear of detection or reprisal?

As I was being driven through the dusty streets of Tehran, I noticed bed linen hung out to air on every balcony, veranda or patio I passed, a futile gesture in this highly polluted environment but one in which everybody appeared to participate without exception. Ali revealed the answer to this particular conundrum when he showed me his garden and I noticed the edge of a huge satellite dish protruding from beneath the sheet festooning his balcony. He explained that everybody he knew had satellite dishes and as long as these remained concealed, nobody could report them to the authorities but anyone who neglected to hide their dishes could guarantee a visit from the Komite, whose heavy handed representatives had a well-earned reputation for physical abuse and malicious damage, not to mention arbitrary arrest and detention without trial.

This was not the only problem Ali was experiencing because of his family’s access to satellite television. He also felt that his fifteen year-old daughter, Shaida, spent more time watching MTV or the Indian Channel Zee than she did on her schoolwork, and this might ultimately undermine her efforts to secure a place at university when the time came. It was a familiar concern. In the early 1960’s, my parents had the same reservations about my relationship with Radio Luxemburg.

Unlike the rest of her family, Shaida was fluent in English, and during our frequent discussions, revealed an insatiable curiosity about life in England and an encyclopaedic knowledge of English boy bands. It was she who first revealed to me the widespread disillusionment with the Khatami Government that was sweeping the country only a year after he took 70% of the vote during the 1997 Presidential Election. Thousands of teenagers were reputed to have dragged their parents to the polling stations to ensure the selection of this popular reformist candidate. Now his good intentions appeared to be foundering on the self-serving intransigence of the conservative clerics, fuelling seething discontent amongst his erstwhile supporters who blamed him, unfairly, for failing to deliver on his manifesto.

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The Hate That Dare Not Speak Its Name

Our German translator JLH sends this postprandial Thanksgiving verse about shhhh! — you know what!

Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today,
I wish, I wish he’d go away…

— From “Antigonish” by Hughes Mearns, 1899

The Hate That Dare Not Speak Its Name
(Inspired by a leitmotif on a certain News Feed)

by JLH

I heard a young girl lost her head,
Because her brother wished her dead.
She wanted to dance at her senior prom.
It was nothing at all to do with Islam.

A soldier guarding a monument died.
His existence offended the Prophet’s pride.
Infidel warriors can give him a fit,
But Islam has nothing to do with it.

Resistance is futile, says the Koran.
We will subject you, because we can.
You’ll live as a dhimmi and pay your due.
But with Islam this has nothing to do.

A follower of Freud and Mohammed both
Killed thirteen comrades, then, nothing loath,
Said: “Whenever a fellow like me just vents
It’s only some workplace violence,”

Trying to cut off his co-worker’s head
Was an un-Islamic act that led
This newly hatched convert to be shot several times,
But did not, alas, lead to Paradise.

This fine fellow took an axe
And gave some policemen forty whacks.
And when he saw what he had done,
Said: “It isn’t Islam. It’s all in fun.”

Give “Asians” an underage girl for a week,
Whether Christian, Hindu, Buddhist or Sikh,
And they’ll groom her into a prostitute.
But any connection to Islam is moot.

Kidnapped and raped and trying to survive,
Waiting for pedophile “husbands” to arrive,
All the girls taken by Boko Haram
Have absolutely nothing to do with Islam.

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Day 17: Joos

Day 17: Joos
by MC

I was talking to V today. V is from South Germany. She was up on that ‘hill’ at the same sort of time as the journalist who complained about the cheering. V was unaware of any cheering or intimidation, and we have been unable to corroborate the journalist’s statement. More disinformation?

A commenter yesterday was accusing Joos of being professional ‘victims’ along with other Semitic peoples. Today three soldiers of my son’s unit died in street fighting in Gaza; it could have been him. There are those who pretend to be victims, and those whom history shows to be targeted every time the opportunity arises. All through today there has been a heavy bombardment going on, and all today, the advance of Islam has been reversed, if only temporarily. The world should be thanking us, but instead they curse us. This victimhood is for REAL.

The York massacre happened because the Joos were too rich and too successful for the populace:

The massacre of 1190 was a horrific catalogue of violence and murder driven by religious intolerance and the greed of those who owed the leading Jewish money-lenders money. And it was sadly only one of countless incidents of mob-violence against Jewish communities across England and Western Europe in the Middle Ages.

Is this any different to Europe in 2014?

Today has been loud. We seem to have war all around us, and an Iron Dome intercept overhead just now rained shrapnel on us. It whines like one of those fireworks with a spinner inside.

The situation here reminds me of Byron*:

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The Microscope of Potency

The above title is a reference to the fact that I just returned from my latest appointment with the retinal specialist (for a full explanation of the allusion, see the bottom portion of this post).

The good news is that I seem to have graduated from the School of Eyeball Injections. My condition (wet macular degeneration) has stabilized to the point where, although I will continue to have periodic appointments for scanning and monitoring, I will no longer have to have a needle stuck into my eye every visit. Absent a new vascular eruption, I will only have to endure pupil dilation and the flashing lights of the scanner. No more needles! A real bonus.

Readers who don’t enjoy modern poetry may not want to click below the fold, where I’ve reproduced a poem by Wallace Stevens entitled “Mountains Covered With Cats”. When you read it, the meaning of the title of this post will become clear.*

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Drinking Your Honour’s Noble Health

Summer Fundraiser 2014, Day Seven

As you all know by now, the theme of this week’s fundraiser is “Curators at the Crossroads”, with me doing the curating and Dymphna looking out at our crossroads. I’ve been attempting all week to explain what my job here involves, and have had a tough time of it — it really is difficult to describe.

Tip jarSo I’ll just let it go. Readers who have been around long enough already know what I do, and what Dymphna does, and why we are asking for donations to help us keep going. To those of you who just got here: Stick around! You’ll soon find out.

Since today is the last day of the fundraiser, I’ll spare you one more explanation of what Being Baron Bodissey means, and let Lewis Carroll do the explaining instead.

As Dymphna mentioned last night, I like to read poetry, and the poems of Lewis Carroll (a.k.a. Charles Dodgson) are among my favorites. The following poem from Through the Looking-Glass is variously identified as “Haddocks’ Eyes”, “The Aged Aged Man”, “Ways and Means”, and “A-sitting on a Gate” by the White Knight, who performs it for Alice.

It’s actually a satire of a poem called “Resolution and Independence” by William Wordsworth. Many of Carroll’s best-known verses were satires of poems that were popular during Victorian times, but have since fallen into obscurity. All that we have left is the humorous echo of them, preserved by the genius of Charles Dodgson.

In the following piece, I play the part of the old man on the gate, while you, our loyal readers, get to hector me for an explanation of what I do whilst thumping me on the head.

On the other hand, the role of the White Knight might also suit me — since he keeps hatching absurd schemes in his head so that he can’t pay attention to anything the old man says.

Here we go:

I’ll tell thee everything I can:
    There’s little to relate.
I saw an aged aged man,
    A-sitting on a gate.
“Who are you, aged man?” I said,
    “And how is it you live?”
And his answer trickled through my head,
    Like water through a sieve.

He said “I look for butterflies
    That sleep among the wheat:
I make them into mutton-pies,
    And sell them in the street.
I sell them unto men,” he said,
    “Who sail on stormy seas;
And that’s the way I get my bread —
    A trifle, if you please.”

But I was thinking of a plan
    To dye one’s whiskers green,
And always use so large a fan
    That they could not be seen.
So, having no reply to give
    To what the old man said,
I cried “Come, tell me how you live!”
    And thumped him on the head.

His accents mild took up the tale:
    He said “I go my ways,
And when I find a mountain-rill,
    I set it in a blaze;
And thence they make a stuff they call
    Rowlands’ Macassar-Oil —
Yet twopence-halfpenny is all
    They give me for my toil.”

But I was thinking of a way
    To feed oneself on batter,
And so go on from day to day
    Getting a little fatter.
I shook him well from side to side,
    Until his face was blue:
“Come, tell me how you live,” I cried,
    “And what it is you do!”

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If…

JLH spends most of his time out translating German for Gates of Vienna, so he needs a break every now and then. On this occasion he’s channeling the shade of Rudyard Kipling, who is revenant here tonight to offer some relevant commentary on the 21st-century American political scene.

IF…or MAYBE, or SOMETHING
by JLH

If you can CYA while all about you
      Are losing theirs because of what you’ve done;
If you conceal the truth when all men doubt you,
      And smear them with no proof and just for fun;
If you illegally screw the opposition,
      Say slyly that it’s someone else’s fault,
And when no one will buy that inanition,
      Haughtily bring the questions to a halt:

If you can parse the atmosphere around us
      And find that fully half of it is bad,
So you can break the coal-made chains that bound us,
      And give us wind and sun and other fads
To starve the carbon-eating vegetation,
      And slice and fricassee our feathered friends,
While putting out of business half the nation,
      And subordinating us to UN trends:

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Vapour Trails of Jets

The news story about the hand grenade found in someone’s carry-on bag at LAX made me think about my last encounter with the Transportation Security Administration two weeks ago, when I went through the security screening at Orlando Airport on my way home from the March for Persecuted Christians.

I got in line, ready to take off my belt, my shoes, and my jacket and pass through the naked scanner. But when I got to the first TSA officer and presented my boarding pass and photo ID, I got a wonderful surprise: my ticket had been marked as “TSA Pre-Screened”. She pointed me to another — much shorter — line, where I was allowed to show my boarding pass and be waved through without having to show my junk to anyone. I avoided all the customary hassle, and had an extra twenty minutes to spend eating breakfast and drinking espresso before boarding the plane for Charlotte.

But why did the TSA grant me the privilege of pre-screening? No one could tell me — it said so on my boarding pass, so that was that: I was King for a Day.

Maybe it was like a lottery ticket — one in 10,000 passengers gets the extra-special TSA reward bonus! It will probably never happen again, but I certainly enjoyed it.

And what if I had packed a hand grenade in my hand luggage? Fortunately for everyone going to Charlotte that day, I decided to bring my Kindle instead…

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Whenever I go through airport security, it puts me in mind of the song “Life in the Air Age” by Bill Nelson of Be Bop Deluxe, from their 1976 album Sunburst Finish:

Life in the air age isn’t all the brochures say
Life in the air age, it’s too dangerous to stay
Life in the air age, airships crashing every day into the bay

Life in the air age, it’s all highways in the sky
Life in the air age, all the oceans have run dry
Life in the air age, it’s grim enough to make a robot cry

Yep, that about sums it up. Unless you qualify for TSA pre-screening, of course! Then life in the Air Age is a bowl of aeronautical cherries.

For a change of pace, here’s another air-themed song. This one is about the dawn of the Air Age, set during the Great War: “Fields of France” by Al Stewart, from his 1988 album Last Days of the Century. The deliberate anachronism in the penultimate line of this song is evidence of a master lyricist at his craft. I also recommend it for the music — it has an excellent flute part as counterpoint to the lyric:

Fields of France
by Al Stewart

His flying jacket still has her perfume
Memories of the night
Play across his mind
High above the fields of France

A single biplane in a clear blue sky
1917, no enemy was seen
High above the fields of France

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