Category Archives: You can’t make this [redacted] up

We Were Socialists Once… and Young

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The Deplorable Wing of the Internet — which is where I usually hang out — has been convulsing itself with mirth for the past couple of days over the shenanigans at the Democratic Socialists of America convention that was held last weekend in Atlanta.

If you watch enough footage from the event, it becomes clear that there is only one commandment in the Socialist catechism: “Thou shalt not trigger a comrade.” All other policies are simply elaborations on, extensions of, and footnotes to this woke mantra. Social justice stuff is what doesn’t trigger them, so that’s what they do. Anything that runs counter to it triggers the comrades to varying degrees, making them hightail it to their safe spaces to recover their composure.

It’s not surprising that the non-canonical use of gendered pronouns was a central preoccupation of the convention. See this Fox News report for more on this important topic.

Below are three videos with highlights and commentary on last weekend’s events in Atlanta. The first includes a selection of brief excerpts that provide an overview of what the policy wonks at the DSA consider really, really important:

The second clip contains an exhortation by a moderator about triggering, and how not to do it. Notice that just before the end he inadvertently uses the word “trump”, and then realizes the gravity of his error. That must have been a Category 5 triggering event for his audience:

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More Than One Way to Spell Stupid

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This week’s installment of Dymphna’s Greatest Hits chronicles the shenanigans in our neighbor to the Frozen North, where cultural dementia — possibly cryogenically induced — perpetually reigns.

It makes me want to quote Shel Silverstein again:

Margo says that Rudy Felsh is a nasty vulgar kid.
Someday he’ll go to Hell or jail or Canada.

Once again, most of the links in this post seem to be dead. However, the links to Sissy Willis’ site still work.

More Than One Way to Spell Stupid

by Dymphna
Originally published on August 28, 2005

Remember how Adam was given the power — the permission — to name things? It’s in the story because we deeply understand that naming things bestows a kind of authority on the one passing out the labels. At least this is so if the label sticks, and this one ought to have glue all over it.

By now, we’re familiar with the Islamic idea of dhimmitude. It’s repugnant to the Western ideal of equality and brotherhood. Bat Ye’or has described only too well the dhimmitude of Eurabia. One prays that her predictions are too dysphorically tuned to be correct. Meanwhile…

…in Canada, they have dummitude, a neologism coined to meet the need to address the diminishing wits of our neighbors to the North. Sisu points out the latest hilarity (it’s hilarious if you don’t live in Toronto. If you are one of its benighted denizens, you might consider moving. If there is any safe place left. Ottawa has got another lock on the rapidly shrinking cultural IQ):

You’ve heard of dhimmitude — the denial of equal rights and dignity to infidels under Sharia law. Now there’s dummitude, the denial of human nature under Canadian law.

At issue is the presence in Canada of Natalie Glebova, this year’s Miss Universe. A nice coup, no? She’s gorgeous. She’s Canadian. What’s the problem?

Here’s the problem. In the place where feminists and Islamicists meet — and it’s obviously not any place you, dear reader, would want to visit — beauty pageants are bad. Awarding beauty for its own sake is so politically incorrect it makes the peecee meter melt. Thus, while Miss Universe does not yet have to wear the hijab, it is against the law for her to show up at any public function in Toronto wearing her tiara and sash:

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Shaky Angie: Climate Change Made Her Do It!

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Many years ago Richard Thompson wrote a song called “Shaky Nancy”*. I reckon we need an updated version now called “Shaky Angie” in honor of German Chancellor Angela Merkel, who on two separate occasions recently was visibly trembling over her entire body. During the attack she suffered in Ukraine, the tremors were fairly extreme, based on the video.

According to Annalena Baerbock, the co-chair of the Green Party in Germany, Mrs. Merkel’s condition was induced by climate change. The chancelloress is evidently only the latest victim of the Climate Change Shakes.

Many thanks to MissPiggy for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes for the subtitling:


Video link

Video transcript:

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Why Big Brudder Will Never Thrive in America

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These guys are “Right Angle” – Bill Whittle of Eject, Eject; Stephen Green, aka Vodka Pundit; and Scott Ott, better known to old bloggers as Scrapple Face. They’ve all been around for a long time.

This tripartite discussion is interesting as anthropology if you’re not from here. On the other hand, it’s got a familiar ring if you are from around here. They’re right: this is where the dinky hall monitor ends up in adulthood and he’s still a dink.

We need a laugh, so enjoy.

Auschwitz and the SPD

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As an appropriate follow-up to tonight’s panel discussion from Israel, Henryk Broder writes about the shameless exploitation of Auschwitz by German Social Democrats.

Many thanks to JLH for the translation from Mr. Broder’s website:

Auschwitz and the SPD

by Henryk M. Broder
May 9, 2019

The fantasy land of German social democracy is located in southern Poland, about 70 kilometers west of Cracow and about 40 kilometers southeast of Katowice. The geographic coordinates are: latitude 50°02′03″ N and longitude 19°12′37″E, 232 meters above sea level. The place is called Auschwitz, alternatively Oswiecim, and was designated by UNESCO as a World Cultural Heritage Site.

For over a million people, Auschwitz was a final stop and a mass grave. For Heiko Maas,[1] it was a factor that decided his choice of profession. He had, says the minister, “entered politics because of Auschwitz.” Actually, he entered politics because his second state law examination was so bad that he had no chance of being appointed as a state’s attorney or a judge — not even in Saarland. So he became a politician. Because of Auschwitz. Give me a break!

Sigmar Gabriel[2] did not enter politics because of Auschwitz, but because of his father, who was a Nazi, as Gabriel admitted unasked. It is seen as the metaphorical equivalent. As his father is for one of them, Auschwitz is for the other. And Gabriel, too, refers often to that German symbol of longing. At a fundraiser of the German National Foundation for the European elections, he said it “was exciting” to participate as the continent was being shaped. And that it was “a ray of hope that, in a time full of conflict, we have managed to come from Auschwitz to Maastricht in less than a generation. I find it a genuine miracle that we have come from hostility and genocide in less than a human lifespan, to become first partners and then friends. That is the real miracle of the European Union’s guiding light in an otherwise grim world.”

Yes, he really said that — the big baby of the SPD — and with a facial expression as if he had just discovered that there had been a short circuit in his playroom, where he had spent so many happy hours. Similarly, for Maas and some bards of the SPD, Auschwitz is not the last stop, but the light at the end of the tunnel, a start, the beginning of a better world. The people who died in this place did not die in vain. The gods heard their cries for help and made possible a direct connection from Auschwitz to Maastricht. And now, according to the subtext, if we don’t watch out, we will be going back to Auschwitz.

Gabriel is nuts, to say the least. What he is doing is covered by paragraph 168 of the criminal code[3] and is “punishable by up to three years’ imprisonment or a financial fine.” Or a long weekend in Greifswald with the youngsters of Feine Sahne Fischfilet [German punk band] in company with Robert Menasse [Austrian writer known for themes of loneliness and alienation] and Heiko Maas.

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You Thought Occasional Cortex Was an Accident?

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Nope. There’s a guy behind the curtain that shields her from reality. AOC was groomed by rich capitalists. Think of those talent shows that find performers who look good and sound good reading a script. Then polish them up till they’re good enough for prime time. Simon Cowell comes to mind…but he’s in real show business, not politics.

In this case, it’s not Simon C. doing the grooming but an entity (a PAC, Political Action Committee) called Justice Democrats.

What a group of motley capitalists behind that curtain. Like, man, these people are part of the American nomenklatura, fer sure. And just like all totalitarian groups, they expel anyone who ever had a wrong thought, no matter how long ago they expressed those ideas. So Cenk Uygur has been airbrushed.

OC – or AOC, if you insist – is our latest actress in Washington. And she’s having more fun than a blond would. So take that, white guys!

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UPDATE: My eyes still aren’t back to normal from cataract surgery. Accidentally posted the wrong video. Corrected now.

The Verdict Against Tommy Robinson in the UKSSR

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Here is Tommy’s video on what went down in Cambridgeshire:

The videos were clear, as was the evidence presented by Luton police intel that Tommy Robinson was not a risk. So what. The Alice-in-Wonderland judge found for the police anyway, and Tommy has to pay their costs. Actually, he’s paying for being an enemy of the state of Soviet Britain.

What a travesty. Dollars to doughnuts, the mendacious MSM in Britain will be all over this.

Tommy’s Trials and Tribulations, Day Three

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Ezra Levant says the lawyers for each side have to give their summaries in the coming day(s) before the judge can rule. Tommy says all he wants is an apology for the out-of-line bully-boy (my words) behavior of the police.

But they are stiff-necked and can’t apologize to a chav. Not a chance.

Ezra has to return to Canada so he won’t be present for the remaining (two?) days of the hearing. However, once this thing is over and done, he plans to put back up the tweets he had to delete after this judge put the kibosh on his efforts.

Keep on truckin’ Tommy.

Surreal Soviet Judiciary in the U.K.

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Here is Ezra Levant’s report from today’s events in Cambridgeshire’s court at Tommy’s Trial. What he experienced is disturbing in the extreme:

What chance do regular working-class Brits have when their tongues are cut out by their betters?

I pray Ezra makes it back to Canada in one piece and on time. Evidently, he scared those itty bitty policemen.

Never was I so glad to be an American.

Drink Up, Kiddies! It’s Educational!

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Many thanks to Nash Montana for translating this article from Politically Incorrect:

Templin: “Chaperoned boozing” as an experiment at school

After mandatory porn class fitting into the scheme of early childhood sexualization of six- to ten-year-olds, our children now are going to have to learn how to booze at school. The red-red state government in Brandenburg wants to teach the “correct” drinking of alcohol in a tax-financed project.

As Nordkurier reported earlier, at the beginning of this week, outraged parents called into the editor’s desk. Their children had brought home a paper from school for parents to give their consent for a “school experiment”. In it parents were expected to give written consent that during class their minor children would be given alcohol under the guise of a “drinking experiment”.

The grammar school of Templin on the Uckermark had invited 90 students from the 9th class for this “experiment” in getting kids drunk, chaperoned by the school.

It was explained that for those under 16 years old, a maximum of three Trinkeinheiten (TE) is optimal. This corresponds to about 0.6 liters (1.25 pints) of champagne or wine. And the highest amount that is given to the minors corresponds to up to four TE, which is about 0.8 liters (1.7 pints) of wine or 1.3 liters (2.75) pints of beer, which the “youths” are supposed to drink under supervision.

Even though the school principal Barbara Liedtke admitted that even she would basically be “flat on the floor” after one liter of beer, she defended the boozing class. Because, after all, this was about observing the consequences.

So now students have to play at being guinea pigs for the country.

“First we’re supposed to teach our kids about the damaging effects of alcohol and drugs. And now they’ll get the booze handed to them by their teachers at school!,” says one angry mother.

The medical insurance company DAK has also reported concerns. Rüdiger Scharf, a spokesperson for DAK, is outraged: “Children are not guinea pigs;” this can be done without alcohol. In a similar project conducted by DAK, the subject group was given so-called intoxication goggles which simulate a high alcohol level, Scharf explained.

According to the people responsible, this joint-joint-scholastic getting hammered on command is supposed to promote the “responsible handling of alcohol” in the future.

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Beclowned in Virginny

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The Baron has been compiling a file of material and links on the ongoing Governor Coonman crisis. To entertain himself he includes nicknames, side remarks, etc. of his own composition. I’ve become alarmed, because it seemed he might crack a rib from laughing at everything, so I thought I’d better post this and put his mind at rest.

Note: I’ve redacted some of the naughtier soubriquets.

  • Governor Ralph Northam (white Democrat) a.k.a. Coonman

    Had a photo of someone in blackface & the KKK in his med school yearbook. Admitted putting shoe polish on his face to do a Michael Jackson act, including a moonwalk.

  • Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax (black Democrat), a.k.a. Junior Assistant [Clown]man

    A woman named Vanessa Tyson, also black, accused him of forcing her to perform oral sex on her years ago. He says the act was consensual.

  • Attorney General Mark Herring (white Democrat) a.k.a. Ras[cal] Honky

    Told Gov. Coonman he should resign after the scandal broke. Later admitted wearing blackface to mimic his favorite rapper.

  • Next in line: Speaker of the House of Delegates Kirk Cox (white Republican)
     
  • Supporting cast: Virginia Rep. Bobby Scott (black Democrat), a.k.a. Congressman [Clown]

    In 2017 Ms. Tyson told his office about Justin Fairfax’s alleged molestation of her. Bobby Scott also has a #MeToo shadow in his past.

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Conservatives, Liberals, and Leftists

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This could as well be titled “The Death of Civility”. I would say “public civility” but you’re not even safe at Thanksgiving Dinner anymore.

If there is one thing that defines leftists, it’s their rude, nothing’s-too-crude forms of rhetoric and their favorite past time, scapegoating.

Prager U’s brief delineation of the problem is spot-on.

There is any number of recent examples of this sad phenomenon; you can see them in our nightly newsfeed. Just to name two of the most egregious, see the attempted slaughter of that schoolboy, Nicholas Sandmann. He had the hate-filled audacity to stand gazing at a stranger who walked up to him banging a drum in his face. The man – a professional “Native American” – clearly invaded the young man’s personal space (not to mention damaging his hearing by pounding on that drum up next to his ear), but it was Nicholas who was excoriated repeatedly for his so-called “smirk”. It was just one more group demonization by leftists hungering for scapegoats. And, no, “slaughter” is not too extreme a word to employ in this case; there have been calls from rabid leftists to hurt/kill him and his family.

The scapegoats du jour are white males, of which Nicholas Sandmann is one.

A further example is Virginia’s governor, Ralph “Coonman” Northam, who expressed agreement with a proposed bill in the Commonwealth’s legislature that would permit infanticide. That bill has since been removed from consideration but now it appears ol’ Ralph is about to resign/be impeached. For supporting this dead-letter piece of legislation? Nope. He’s guilty of having posed in a racist picture back in the 1980s; that is his mortal sin. “Racism” is the current unforgivable. Infanticide is okay, though; witness New York’s new abortion law.

Governor Northam is an unexceptional politician. Most Virginia governors are unexceptional; they are limited to one six-year term so the office is used as a stepping stone to bigger political plums. While the state tends to vote Republican in national elections, our governors are usually Democrats. Those who ran against Northam in the primaries are kicking themselves for not having found his medical school yearbook photo, but you can be sure that in the future all political “oppositional research” will include digging into yearbooks, looking for dirt on potential candidates.

The main thing that concerns me about a new election (besides the state and local expense) is that a former candidate, Tom Perriello – defeated in the primary – will jump at the chance to run again. Our Congressional District knows Perriello all too well. He’s a Soros boy, working somewhere in the bowels of George’s “Open Society” leftist org. During the 2008 election, he rode in on Obama’s coattails, only lasting one season. Back then, the B and I were part of a group who questioned him about our rights as citizens. The question posed to this Yale-graduated lawyer was, “what is considered to be the origin of individual Americans’ rights?”. To which he answered, “the government”. Someone then reminded him that our rights were stipulated in The Declaration of Independence when we formally rose up against England. So our rights pre-date the U.S. Constitution. Lucky for us, we won that War of Independence.

It is now open season on white males all the way back to their potty training, maybe even to misdeeds discovered on their mothers’ sonograms.

Oh, Craven New World!

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The next in line for governor when Northam resigns is our Lieutenant Governor, Justin Fairfax. He should be a shoo-in, given that he’s an African American, right? Wrong. There is now an accusation of sexual assault dating back to 2004.

Are you news-fatigued yet? That’s life with those leftists, or as Mark Steyn calls them, the Wokestapo. They are indefatigable…and deeply. eternally resentful.

A Gallic Sense of Priorities

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Ivan Winters lives in a very culturally enriched area of West Yorkshire (formerly the West Riding). For a change of pace, the following report from him has nothing to do with the cultural enrichment of the UK.

A Gallic Sense of Priorities
by Ivan Winters

I was onboard a ‘Barge Cruise’ on the River Aire in Leeds in early December. The reason for this is that I was invited to attend as a guest by a member of the Leeds Orange Lodge. I have always been a staunch Unionist, but in fact could never legally be a member of an Orange Lodge. I have been asked a couple of times, but Orange Order rules state that a candidate for membership must be a Protestant, and I have had to point out I am in fact a (non-practising) Jew.

In addition to enjoying the (excellent) buffet, the bar and a very friendly DJ playing music suitable for an older person’s tastes, there was also an official event partway through our cruise. This was the ‘official presentation’ of a medal to a lodge member. The medal was the French Légion d’Honneur!

How did this happen?

The member is called ‘John’ and he is a bricklayer by trade. He also teaches bricklaying and a couple of other trades at a local college. John was in Lille in France in November to attend one of the centennial events marking Armistice Day. He was staying at a local Novotel when there was a disturbance in the hotel lobby in the evening. The night porter was trying to eject two Albanian migrants who were making a nuisance of themselves. John went to the night porter’s assistance and helped him eject the migrants. Someone either in the local gendarmerie or the Novotel Hotel management reported John’s assistance up through their chain of command. The result was the issuing of a ‘Légion d’Honneur’ to John complete with a medal and a (bilingual) certificate detailing the circumstances which had caused the issue of France’s highest award for bravery. The certificate was signed by ‘President of the Republic’ Emmanuel Macron!

The official presentation was carried out by the Lodge Secretary and the Deputy Lodge Master. Following the presentation the DJ played The Marseillaise. Everyone on the boat stood for the playing even though many of those present will have been ex-Servicemen, and most British ex-Servicemen have their own robust opinions of French bravery.

This of course led me to think about the French President’s sense of priorities. For the past several weeks the media have covered the strikes/riots against Macron’s rule by the ‘Yellow Vests’. He has gone from being a president who has lectured world leaders, including President Trump, about their policy decisions, to having his policies very publicly rejected by his own electors! In addition to this very public humiliation, massive damage has been done to the French economy. Tourism is a major earner for the French economy but the seasonal tourist trade has been wrecked. In addition to the damage to buildings, vehicles, etc., the retail centres of major cities such as Paris have lost most of their expected Christmas and New Year’s seasonal sales revenue.

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Baaaaa!

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I don’t actually have any commentary on this one. Many thanks to MissPiggy for the translation:

Freiburg: Eritrean arrested — Sexual assaults on women and animals

Freiburg — The investigators of the Criminal Police were able to arrest a 28-year-old man from Eritrea last Friday, October 26 2018, who is sought for several offenses in question.

The meticulous forensics of investigators in the case of a sexual assault on May 11 2018 revealed that DNA evidence collected from a 30-year-old victim matched already-existing DNA evidence. These could be secured in the context of violations of the Animal Welfare Act of 2017. The then-unknown culprit was charged with sexually targeting sheep and goats on a farm in Freiburg.