Category Archives: You can’t make this [redacted] up

The First Arrest of a Domestic Terrorist

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Conservative Tree House has just posted a report about the arrest of a domestic terrorist named Ricky Vaughn who tried to subvert the electoral process by posting on Twitter.

I’m far enough down the Internet food chain that the feds won’t be knock-knock-knocking at my door all that soon. However, just in case, to make my position clear, I must emphasize that last November’s presidential election was the freest and fairest in the history of this great country. I can’t tell you how excited I am to have Joe Biden as my president. And I can sleep easier at night now that I know that vicious extremists are being hunted down and neutralized by diligent agents of the federal government, who work day and night to preserve our democracy and protect our freedoms.

Furthermore, the nation that controls magnetism will control the universe.

Masks Are Good For Your Lungs!

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The translator referred to the following video as propaganda from German mainstream TV, but it seems like it must be a spoof. German readers: please let us know if this is for real.

Many thanks to Hellequin GB for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes and RAIR Foundation for the subtitling:


Video link

Video transcript:

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A Gatophage in Campiglia Marittima

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Campiglia Marittima is a village in the Italian province of Livorno. Last Tuesday a young culture-enricher from the Ivory Coast killed and cooked a cat over a makeshift fire near the station in Campiglia Marittima, outraging several passers-by, who used their phones to take videos of the incident. The police briefly detained the puir wee bairn, but released him without charge, since apparently there was no violation of any law.

Many thanks to FouseSquawk for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes and RAIR Foundation for the subtitling:


Video link

The following article about the incident (also translated by FouseSquawk) was posted at neXtQuotidiano:

Man who cooked a cat at Campiglia Marittima

Since this morning, a video has been circulating, posted by a Facebook user, in which a man can be seen who is cooking or burning a cat at Campiglia Marittima. According to the press agency ANSA the man killed the cat and started to cook it lighting a fire on the sidewalk near the city station (Livorno/Leghorn). And from what has been reconstructed by the Carabinieri, who intervened this morning after more notifications, and who have identified the perpetrator as a 21-year-old foreigner who will be reported for killing an animal. The young man was then accompanied to the Carabinieri station pending clarification of his status in Italy. At the moment, he does not appear to be listed as legal. The Carabinieri intervened this morning shortly after 7 in response to numerous calls from citizens.

According to what the mayor of Campiglia Marittima, Alberta Ticciati, wrote, the man has been identified but not arrested. Repubblica Firenze (Florence) writes that the young African man is 23 years of age and comes from the Ivory Coast, and confirms that there has been no arrest because the laws do not apply.

He was a resident at a reception center in the area of Livorno from which he left (or was kicked out — an aspect to be clarified) and now is listed as without fixed abode. The young man has made an application for refugee status, but the request was rejected, and he presented an appeal: the proceeding is now at the Tribunal of Florence. There has been no arrest, as Ceccardi writes (no violation is specified in article 544 bis of the penal code, explain the investigators), but there is a report with release.

Article 544 bis of the penal code specifies that anyone who, out of cruelty or without necessity, causes the death of an animal may be punished by a period of incarceration from four months to two years. The episode has been posted on the Facebook pages of Susanna Ceccardi and Matteo Salvini complete with video.

“A chilling episode in its brutality, but unfortunately all true,” also writes Susanna Ceccardi. “I congratulate the Carabinieri who took the torturer into custody; now we ask for punishment as an example, because in our civilization the domestic animals are left alone and deserve maximum humaneness and respect for all the unconditional love they offer without asking for anything in return,” concludes the candidate for the Lega in the next regional elections in Tuscany.

The story has also been propagated by Matteo Salvini, who increased the dose: “An upsetting scene, cruel and monstrous this morning in Tuscany, near Livorno. They tell me that the delinquent will be arrested, I hope that will be confirmed. It merits jail, and, if he immigrated illegally, expulsion; we don’t want to see him walking around again!”

Both speak of an arrest which in reality has not occurred.

Video transcript:

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We Were Socialists Once… and Young

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The Deplorable Wing of the Internet — which is where I usually hang out — has been convulsing itself with mirth for the past couple of days over the shenanigans at the Democratic Socialists of America convention that was held last weekend in Atlanta.

If you watch enough footage from the event, it becomes clear that there is only one commandment in the Socialist catechism: “Thou shalt not trigger a comrade.” All other policies are simply elaborations on, extensions of, and footnotes to this woke mantra. Social justice stuff is what doesn’t trigger them, so that’s what they do. Anything that runs counter to it triggers the comrades to varying degrees, making them hightail it to their safe spaces to recover their composure.

It’s not surprising that the non-canonical use of gendered pronouns was a central preoccupation of the convention. See this Fox News report for more on this important topic.

Below are three videos with highlights and commentary on last weekend’s events in Atlanta. The first includes a selection of brief excerpts that provide an overview of what the policy wonks at the DSA consider really, really important:

The second clip contains an exhortation by a moderator about triggering, and how not to do it. Notice that just before the end he inadvertently uses the word “trump”, and then realizes the gravity of his error. That must have been a Category 5 triggering event for his audience:

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More Than One Way to Spell Stupid

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This week’s installment of Dymphna’s Greatest Hits chronicles the shenanigans in our neighbor to the Frozen North, where cultural dementia — possibly cryogenically induced — perpetually reigns.

It makes me want to quote Shel Silverstein again:

Margo says that Rudy Felsh is a nasty vulgar kid.
Someday he’ll go to Hell or jail or Canada.

Once again, most of the links in this post seem to be dead. However, the links to Sissy Willis’ site still work.

More Than One Way to Spell Stupid

by Dymphna
Originally published on August 28, 2005

Remember how Adam was given the power — the permission — to name things? It’s in the story because we deeply understand that naming things bestows a kind of authority on the one passing out the labels. At least this is so if the label sticks, and this one ought to have glue all over it.

By now, we’re familiar with the Islamic idea of dhimmitude. It’s repugnant to the Western ideal of equality and brotherhood. Bat Ye’or has described only too well the dhimmitude of Eurabia. One prays that her predictions are too dysphorically tuned to be correct. Meanwhile…

…in Canada, they have dummitude, a neologism coined to meet the need to address the diminishing wits of our neighbors to the North. Sisu points out the latest hilarity (it’s hilarious if you don’t live in Toronto. If you are one of its benighted denizens, you might consider moving. If there is any safe place left. Ottawa has got another lock on the rapidly shrinking cultural IQ):

You’ve heard of dhimmitude — the denial of equal rights and dignity to infidels under Sharia law. Now there’s dummitude, the denial of human nature under Canadian law.

At issue is the presence in Canada of Natalie Glebova, this year’s Miss Universe. A nice coup, no? She’s gorgeous. She’s Canadian. What’s the problem?

Here’s the problem. In the place where feminists and Islamicists meet — and it’s obviously not any place you, dear reader, would want to visit — beauty pageants are bad. Awarding beauty for its own sake is so politically incorrect it makes the peecee meter melt. Thus, while Miss Universe does not yet have to wear the hijab, it is against the law for her to show up at any public function in Toronto wearing her tiara and sash:

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Shaky Angie: Climate Change Made Her Do It!

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Many years ago Richard Thompson wrote a song called “Shaky Nancy”*. I reckon we need an updated version now called “Shaky Angie” in honor of German Chancellor Angela Merkel, who on two separate occasions recently was visibly trembling over her entire body. During the attack she suffered in Ukraine, the tremors were fairly extreme, based on the video.

According to Annalena Baerbock, the co-chair of the Green Party in Germany, Mrs. Merkel’s condition was induced by climate change. The chancelloress is evidently only the latest victim of the Climate Change Shakes.

Many thanks to MissPiggy for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes for the subtitling:


Video link

Video transcript:

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Why Big Brudder Will Never Thrive in America

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These guys are “Right Angle” – Bill Whittle of Eject, Eject; Stephen Green, aka Vodka Pundit; and Scott Ott, better known to old bloggers as Scrapple Face. They’ve all been around for a long time.

This tripartite discussion is interesting as anthropology if you’re not from here. On the other hand, it’s got a familiar ring if you are from around here. They’re right: this is where the dinky hall monitor ends up in adulthood and he’s still a dink.

We need a laugh, so enjoy.

Auschwitz and the SPD

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As an appropriate follow-up to tonight’s panel discussion from Israel, Henryk Broder writes about the shameless exploitation of Auschwitz by German Social Democrats.

Many thanks to JLH for the translation from Mr. Broder’s website:

Auschwitz and the SPD

by Henryk M. Broder
May 9, 2019

The fantasy land of German social democracy is located in southern Poland, about 70 kilometers west of Cracow and about 40 kilometers southeast of Katowice. The geographic coordinates are: latitude 50°02′03″ N and longitude 19°12′37″E, 232 meters above sea level. The place is called Auschwitz, alternatively Oswiecim, and was designated by UNESCO as a World Cultural Heritage Site.

For over a million people, Auschwitz was a final stop and a mass grave. For Heiko Maas,[1] it was a factor that decided his choice of profession. He had, says the minister, “entered politics because of Auschwitz.” Actually, he entered politics because his second state law examination was so bad that he had no chance of being appointed as a state’s attorney or a judge — not even in Saarland. So he became a politician. Because of Auschwitz. Give me a break!

Sigmar Gabriel[2] did not enter politics because of Auschwitz, but because of his father, who was a Nazi, as Gabriel admitted unasked. It is seen as the metaphorical equivalent. As his father is for one of them, Auschwitz is for the other. And Gabriel, too, refers often to that German symbol of longing. At a fundraiser of the German National Foundation for the European elections, he said it “was exciting” to participate as the continent was being shaped. And that it was “a ray of hope that, in a time full of conflict, we have managed to come from Auschwitz to Maastricht in less than a generation. I find it a genuine miracle that we have come from hostility and genocide in less than a human lifespan, to become first partners and then friends. That is the real miracle of the European Union’s guiding light in an otherwise grim world.”

Yes, he really said that — the big baby of the SPD — and with a facial expression as if he had just discovered that there had been a short circuit in his playroom, where he had spent so many happy hours. Similarly, for Maas and some bards of the SPD, Auschwitz is not the last stop, but the light at the end of the tunnel, a start, the beginning of a better world. The people who died in this place did not die in vain. The gods heard their cries for help and made possible a direct connection from Auschwitz to Maastricht. And now, according to the subtext, if we don’t watch out, we will be going back to Auschwitz.

Gabriel is nuts, to say the least. What he is doing is covered by paragraph 168 of the criminal code[3] and is “punishable by up to three years’ imprisonment or a financial fine.” Or a long weekend in Greifswald with the youngsters of Feine Sahne Fischfilet [German punk band] in company with Robert Menasse [Austrian writer known for themes of loneliness and alienation] and Heiko Maas.

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You Thought Occasional Cortex Was an Accident?

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Nope. There’s a guy behind the curtain that shields her from reality. AOC was groomed by rich capitalists. Think of those talent shows that find performers who look good and sound good reading a script. Then polish them up till they’re good enough for prime time. Simon Cowell comes to mind…but he’s in real show business, not politics.

In this case, it’s not Simon C. doing the grooming but an entity (a PAC, Political Action Committee) called Justice Democrats.

What a group of motley capitalists behind that curtain. Like, man, these people are part of the American nomenklatura, fer sure. And just like all totalitarian groups, they expel anyone who ever had a wrong thought, no matter how long ago they expressed those ideas. So Cenk Uygur has been airbrushed.

OC – or AOC, if you insist – is our latest actress in Washington. And she’s having more fun than a blond would. So take that, white guys!

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UPDATE: My eyes still aren’t back to normal from cataract surgery. Accidentally posted the wrong video. Corrected now.

The Verdict Against Tommy Robinson in the UKSSR

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Here is Tommy’s video on what went down in Cambridgeshire:

The videos were clear, as was the evidence presented by Luton police intel that Tommy Robinson was not a risk. So what. The Alice-in-Wonderland judge found for the police anyway, and Tommy has to pay their costs. Actually, he’s paying for being an enemy of the state of Soviet Britain.

What a travesty. Dollars to doughnuts, the mendacious MSM in Britain will be all over this.

Tommy’s Trials and Tribulations, Day Three

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Ezra Levant says the lawyers for each side have to give their summaries in the coming day(s) before the judge can rule. Tommy says all he wants is an apology for the out-of-line bully-boy (my words) behavior of the police.

But they are stiff-necked and can’t apologize to a chav. Not a chance.

Ezra has to return to Canada so he won’t be present for the remaining (two?) days of the hearing. However, once this thing is over and done, he plans to put back up the tweets he had to delete after this judge put the kibosh on his efforts.

Keep on truckin’ Tommy.

Surreal Soviet Judiciary in the U.K.

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Here is Ezra Levant’s report from today’s events in Cambridgeshire’s court at Tommy’s Trial. What he experienced is disturbing in the extreme:

What chance do regular working-class Brits have when their tongues are cut out by their betters?

I pray Ezra makes it back to Canada in one piece and on time. Evidently, he scared those itty bitty policemen.

Never was I so glad to be an American.

Drink Up, Kiddies! It’s Educational!

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Many thanks to Nash Montana for translating this article from Politically Incorrect:

Templin: “Chaperoned boozing” as an experiment at school

After mandatory porn class fitting into the scheme of early childhood sexualization of six- to ten-year-olds, our children now are going to have to learn how to booze at school. The red-red state government in Brandenburg wants to teach the “correct” drinking of alcohol in a tax-financed project.

As Nordkurier reported earlier, at the beginning of this week, outraged parents called into the editor’s desk. Their children had brought home a paper from school for parents to give their consent for a “school experiment”. In it parents were expected to give written consent that during class their minor children would be given alcohol under the guise of a “drinking experiment”.

The grammar school of Templin on the Uckermark had invited 90 students from the 9th class for this “experiment” in getting kids drunk, chaperoned by the school.

It was explained that for those under 16 years old, a maximum of three Trinkeinheiten (TE) is optimal. This corresponds to about 0.6 liters (1.25 pints) of champagne or wine. And the highest amount that is given to the minors corresponds to up to four TE, which is about 0.8 liters (1.7 pints) of wine or 1.3 liters (2.75) pints of beer, which the “youths” are supposed to drink under supervision.

Even though the school principal Barbara Liedtke admitted that even she would basically be “flat on the floor” after one liter of beer, she defended the boozing class. Because, after all, this was about observing the consequences.

So now students have to play at being guinea pigs for the country.

“First we’re supposed to teach our kids about the damaging effects of alcohol and drugs. And now they’ll get the booze handed to them by their teachers at school!,” says one angry mother.

The medical insurance company DAK has also reported concerns. Rüdiger Scharf, a spokesperson for DAK, is outraged: “Children are not guinea pigs;” this can be done without alcohol. In a similar project conducted by DAK, the subject group was given so-called intoxication goggles which simulate a high alcohol level, Scharf explained.

According to the people responsible, this joint-joint-scholastic getting hammered on command is supposed to promote the “responsible handling of alcohol” in the future.

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