Category Archives: You can’t make this [redacted] up

Ho! Ho! Ho!

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This is Oregon Governor Kate Brown.

Governor Brown recently dropped all reading, writing and math proficiency standards for graduation from high school because such requirements were unfair to “people of color”. Expecting non-whites and non-Orientals to pass tests is evidently racist.

Governor Brown also required that masks continue be worn indoors and out, regardless of whether the wearer has been “vaccinated”.

The governor’s tweet of her latest fashion statement is here.

Wearing a face mask has been shown to significantly reduce oxygen intake. Do you think oxygen deprivation has contributed to Governor Brown’s present condition? If so, I don’t see how this new mask can avoid making it worse — it looks like the nose dome with the deer in it is a fully sealed plastic shell. How does she manage to get any oxygen at all? Does it diffuse through the floral arrangement?

If she survives wearing it throughout the festive season, it will be interesting to see what design she comes up with for her Easter mask.

Hat tips: both WRSA and Conservative Tree House.

Rapists Have Human Rights, Too!

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A convicted culture-enriching rapist can’t be deported from Germany, because… he doesn’t want to leave.

You can’t make this [solid waste] up.

Many thanks to Hellequin GB for translating this article from Bild:

Iranian is allowed to stay with us despite being a rapist

Reza B. (44) raped a woman, spent four years in jail, and is still classified as dangerous by the police. But the German state cannot deport the Iranian. Because he simply refuses to leave — and that’s why he stays here!

The case shows once again: Germany has a massive problem with the deportation of serious criminals. Bild am Sonntag reporters found the Iranian in a home for asylum seekers in Bavaria. He told his story: “In 2005 I had to flee Iran. My life was in danger; three of my friends were killed by the police. I fled to Syria, in 2011 to Germany, applied for asylum.”

He doesn’t tell how the story continues. But you can read that in court files: At noon on June 15, 2015, Reza B. asked a woman (21) at the bus station in Schwandorf (Bavaria) where the market square is. Since he did not understand what she was saying, she showed him the way. On the way he pushed her into a bush, tried to kiss her, groped her and raped her.

Four months later she recognized him at the train station in Regensburg and called the police. She had nightmares after the act, woke up screaming at night. So it is recorded in the judgment of the Amberg Regional Court (a copy is in the possession of Bild am Sonntag).

Reza B. denied everything. He made up a fake alibi for the police. He later claimed: The woman went for him — not he for her. He didn’t know she was a lesbian.

Reza B. was finally sentenced to four years imprisonment for rape, but still claims today: ”There was no rape! The woman reported me because she wanted €20 from me — and I didn’t have any money with me.”

In 2018, the Schwandorf District Office ordered his expulsion. On the other hand, he sued the administrative court in Regensburg — and has now lost. The court sees the danger that he could commit further crimes. He is therefore also under supervision of conduct.

Nevertheless: the criminal cannot be deported! Because he doesn’t have a passport. And the Iranian state will only give him a new one if Reza B. declares that he will return to his homeland voluntarily. But he refuses and says to Bild am Sonntag: “I am not signing anything. I want to stay here.” Germany must therefore continue to tolerate the Iranian. That means: He lives in the asylum seekers’ home, is not allowed to work, and collects Hartz IV (€446 per month).

Reza B. is not an isolated case. In 2020, according to the Federal Ministry of the Interior, 57 percent of Iranian asylum seekers did not have a passport. Philipp Pruy (34), a lawyer and migration expert, reports: “Since 2015 I have represented over 100 Iranians in the asylum procedure. But as far as I know, none of the rejected Iranians who were obliged to leave the country signed the declaration of voluntary agreement. None of them wanted to go back to the mullahs’ regime.”

Afterword from the translator:

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The Punking of Ann Linde

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A pair of Russian hoaxters who go by the pseudonyms Vovan and Lexus are renowned for impersonating famous public figures in order to induce other famous public figures to make fools of themselves. Their latest prank has made a fool of Swedish Foreign Minister Ann Linde, who thought she was taking a phone call from Julia Navalnaya, the wife of the Russian opposition politician Alexei Navalny — who is currently languishing in prison — and his chief of staff, Leonid Volkov. The foreign minister had no idea that her words were being recorded, and that they would be released to the media.

Ms. Linde’s faux pas has given the Swedish tabloids plenty of fodder for sensational news stories. In the recording she indicates that she may be able send Swedish taxpayers’ money to help Mr. Navalny. She also brags about her work against Vladimir Putin, and her reluctance to support sanctions against the Nord Stream 2 pipeline, due to the involvement of Western European companies in the project.

First the video (audio only, with still photos of Leonid Volkov, Ann Linde, and Julia Navalnaya), in English with Russian subtitles:

Many thanks to LN for translating this article about the prank from Fria Tider:

Ann Linde is revealed by prank callers — promises Swedish tax money to Russian politicians

A couple of infamous Russian pranksters managed to get a call with Ann Linde. In the conversation, the Swedish Foreign Minister discusses how to use Swedish development aid money to finance Russian opposition politicians.

Behind the coup are the infamous pranksters who call themselves Vovan and Lexus, who have previously managed to deceive a number of high-ranking people in the Western world.

In May, Fria Tider reported on how the duo got the American National Endowment for Democracy, NED, to boast that they funded and organized the mass protests in Belarus last year.

In the new conversation with Ann Linde, Vovan and Lexus pretend to be Julia Navalnaya, wife of the imprisoned opposition politician Alexei Navalny, and Navalny’s chief of staff Leonid Volkov.

In the phone call, Anne Linde talks broadly about the Swedish government’s work against Putin.

At one point, she is asked directly whether she can help fund Alexei Navalny’s movement.

“It would be fantastic if Sweden could help us, for example through the development assistance authority (Sida),” the man says in the conversation.

Ann Linde replies that Sweden has already set aside €38 million to support “civil society and human rights” over the next five years.

“I’m not entirely sure of the details, but I think it is possible that… if you have a contact… with you or through the embassy. If possible, because I do not know the technical details.”

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Suspect Identified in Times Square Shooting: Martin Luther Jesus Christ

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No, that isn’t really the name of the alleged suspected shooter in last Saturday’s attack in Times Square. But it would be the rough equivalent if his identity were switched to a Christian one instead of a muh… muh… member of a monotheistic religion whose name we must not mention.

It’s also worth noting that the incident, which fortunately resulted in no fatalities, has a Mohammed Coefficient of 100%.

I don’t think religion had much to do with young Farrakhan’s shooting rampage. He’s probably just the scion of a Nation of Islam family whose father was a devotee of the sect’s current leader.

And he wasn’t trying to shoot any of the victims — he was aiming at his brother. Keeping it all in the family. His brother is presumably also a person of color, which just goes to show that America is a systemically racist society that targets black people for extermination.

Below are excerpts from a report at Yahoo News:

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Jesus, Mohammed — Same Thing

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The dhimmitude of Swedish Christians — who are in any case not very numerous — seems to be getting worse. Now they can hasten their conversion to Islam by accepting Mohammed as their very own Christian prophet, according to a leading theologian.

Many thanks to Gary Fouse for translating this article from Fria Tider:

Swedish Church leader: Christians can have Mohammed as prophet

March 20, 2021

[Photo caption below: Jakob Wirén is a theologian in the Swedish Church and is on the archbishop’s staff.]

DIVERSITY. Can Islam’s foremost prophet, Mohammed, also be a prophet for Christians? Yes, believes Jakob Wirén, who is one of the Swedish Church’s foremost theologians.

That is in a newly-published book entitled, “To make a place for the other?”, in which Wirén devotes a chapter to Mohammed and the role he can have for Christian people. Wirén is a theologian and is on the archbishop’s staff in the Swedish Church.

Wirén claims that Christians may well also consider Mohammed as a prophet for Christians, if not only because he was a “defender of monotheism.”

“As for the concept of prophet, it is quite open. There are prophets and prophesies even after Jesus’ resurrection, not the least of which in the New Testament,” he tells the Christian newspaper, Dagen.

Wirén believes that Christians can think of Mohammed as a Christian prophet out of “respect” for Muslims. In a follow-up debate article, he regrets that so many Christians reject Mohammed and that “the public conversation on Islam is often poisoned by extremism and hate.”

However, claiming that Mohammed can be considered as a Christian prophet meets with opposition from, among others, Dagen’s lead writer, Frederik Wenell. “The idea that Mohammed can also be a prophet in Christian tradition goes both against Christian and against Muslim tradition,” he writes among other things.

The First Arrest of a Domestic Terrorist

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Conservative Tree House has just posted a report about the arrest of a domestic terrorist named Ricky Vaughn who tried to subvert the electoral process by posting on Twitter.

I’m far enough down the Internet food chain that the feds won’t be knock-knock-knocking at my door all that soon. However, just in case, to make my position clear, I must emphasize that last November’s presidential election was the freest and fairest in the history of this great country. I can’t tell you how excited I am to have Joe Biden as my president. And I can sleep easier at night now that I know that vicious extremists are being hunted down and neutralized by diligent agents of the federal government, who work day and night to preserve our democracy and protect our freedoms.

Furthermore, the nation that controls magnetism will control the universe.

Masks Are Good For Your Lungs!

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The translator referred to the following video as propaganda from German mainstream TV, but it seems like it must be a spoof. German readers: please let us know if this is for real.

Many thanks to Hellequin GB for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes and RAIR Foundation for the subtitling:


Video link

Video transcript:

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A Gatophage in Campiglia Marittima

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Campiglia Marittima is a village in the Italian province of Livorno. Last Tuesday a young culture-enricher from the Ivory Coast killed and cooked a cat over a makeshift fire near the station in Campiglia Marittima, outraging several passers-by, who used their phones to take videos of the incident. The police briefly detained the puir wee bairn, but released him without charge, since apparently there was no violation of any law.

Many thanks to FouseSquawk for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes and RAIR Foundation for the subtitling:


Video link

The following article about the incident (also translated by FouseSquawk) was posted at neXtQuotidiano:

Man who cooked a cat at Campiglia Marittima

Since this morning, a video has been circulating, posted by a Facebook user, in which a man can be seen who is cooking or burning a cat at Campiglia Marittima. According to the press agency ANSA the man killed the cat and started to cook it lighting a fire on the sidewalk near the city station (Livorno/Leghorn). And from what has been reconstructed by the Carabinieri, who intervened this morning after more notifications, and who have identified the perpetrator as a 21-year-old foreigner who will be reported for killing an animal. The young man was then accompanied to the Carabinieri station pending clarification of his status in Italy. At the moment, he does not appear to be listed as legal. The Carabinieri intervened this morning shortly after 7 in response to numerous calls from citizens.

According to what the mayor of Campiglia Marittima, Alberta Ticciati, wrote, the man has been identified but not arrested. Repubblica Firenze (Florence) writes that the young African man is 23 years of age and comes from the Ivory Coast, and confirms that there has been no arrest because the laws do not apply.

He was a resident at a reception center in the area of Livorno from which he left (or was kicked out — an aspect to be clarified) and now is listed as without fixed abode. The young man has made an application for refugee status, but the request was rejected, and he presented an appeal: the proceeding is now at the Tribunal of Florence. There has been no arrest, as Ceccardi writes (no violation is specified in article 544 bis of the penal code, explain the investigators), but there is a report with release.

Article 544 bis of the penal code specifies that anyone who, out of cruelty or without necessity, causes the death of an animal may be punished by a period of incarceration from four months to two years. The episode has been posted on the Facebook pages of Susanna Ceccardi and Matteo Salvini complete with video.

“A chilling episode in its brutality, but unfortunately all true,” also writes Susanna Ceccardi. “I congratulate the Carabinieri who took the torturer into custody; now we ask for punishment as an example, because in our civilization the domestic animals are left alone and deserve maximum humaneness and respect for all the unconditional love they offer without asking for anything in return,” concludes the candidate for the Lega in the next regional elections in Tuscany.

The story has also been propagated by Matteo Salvini, who increased the dose: “An upsetting scene, cruel and monstrous this morning in Tuscany, near Livorno. They tell me that the delinquent will be arrested, I hope that will be confirmed. It merits jail, and, if he immigrated illegally, expulsion; we don’t want to see him walking around again!”

Both speak of an arrest which in reality has not occurred.

Video transcript:

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We Were Socialists Once… and Young

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The Deplorable Wing of the Internet — which is where I usually hang out — has been convulsing itself with mirth for the past couple of days over the shenanigans at the Democratic Socialists of America convention that was held last weekend in Atlanta.

If you watch enough footage from the event, it becomes clear that there is only one commandment in the Socialist catechism: “Thou shalt not trigger a comrade.” All other policies are simply elaborations on, extensions of, and footnotes to this woke mantra. Social justice stuff is what doesn’t trigger them, so that’s what they do. Anything that runs counter to it triggers the comrades to varying degrees, making them hightail it to their safe spaces to recover their composure.

It’s not surprising that the non-canonical use of gendered pronouns was a central preoccupation of the convention. See this Fox News report for more on this important topic.

Below are three videos with highlights and commentary on last weekend’s events in Atlanta. The first includes a selection of brief excerpts that provide an overview of what the policy wonks at the DSA consider really, really important:

The second clip contains an exhortation by a moderator about triggering, and how not to do it. Notice that just before the end he inadvertently uses the word “trump”, and then realizes the gravity of his error. That must have been a Category 5 triggering event for his audience:

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More Than One Way to Spell Stupid

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This week’s installment of Dymphna’s Greatest Hits chronicles the shenanigans in our neighbor to the Frozen North, where cultural dementia — possibly cryogenically induced — perpetually reigns.

It makes me want to quote Shel Silverstein again:

Margo says that Rudy Felsh is a nasty vulgar kid.
Someday he’ll go to Hell or jail or Canada.

Once again, most of the links in this post seem to be dead. However, the links to Sissy Willis’ site still work.

More Than One Way to Spell Stupid

by Dymphna
Originally published on August 28, 2005

Remember how Adam was given the power — the permission — to name things? It’s in the story because we deeply understand that naming things bestows a kind of authority on the one passing out the labels. At least this is so if the label sticks, and this one ought to have glue all over it.

By now, we’re familiar with the Islamic idea of dhimmitude. It’s repugnant to the Western ideal of equality and brotherhood. Bat Ye’or has described only too well the dhimmitude of Eurabia. One prays that her predictions are too dysphorically tuned to be correct. Meanwhile…

…in Canada, they have dummitude, a neologism coined to meet the need to address the diminishing wits of our neighbors to the North. Sisu points out the latest hilarity (it’s hilarious if you don’t live in Toronto. If you are one of its benighted denizens, you might consider moving. If there is any safe place left. Ottawa has got another lock on the rapidly shrinking cultural IQ):

You’ve heard of dhimmitude — the denial of equal rights and dignity to infidels under Sharia law. Now there’s dummitude, the denial of human nature under Canadian law.

At issue is the presence in Canada of Natalie Glebova, this year’s Miss Universe. A nice coup, no? She’s gorgeous. She’s Canadian. What’s the problem?

Here’s the problem. In the place where feminists and Islamicists meet — and it’s obviously not any place you, dear reader, would want to visit — beauty pageants are bad. Awarding beauty for its own sake is so politically incorrect it makes the peecee meter melt. Thus, while Miss Universe does not yet have to wear the hijab, it is against the law for her to show up at any public function in Toronto wearing her tiara and sash:

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Shaky Angie: Climate Change Made Her Do It!

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Many years ago Richard Thompson wrote a song called “Shaky Nancy”*. I reckon we need an updated version now called “Shaky Angie” in honor of German Chancellor Angela Merkel, who on two separate occasions recently was visibly trembling over her entire body. During the attack she suffered in Ukraine, the tremors were fairly extreme, based on the video.

According to Annalena Baerbock, the co-chair of the Green Party in Germany, Mrs. Merkel’s condition was induced by climate change. The chancelloress is evidently only the latest victim of the Climate Change Shakes.

Many thanks to MissPiggy for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes for the subtitling:


Video link

Video transcript:

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Why Big Brudder Will Never Thrive in America

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These guys are “Right Angle” – Bill Whittle of Eject, Eject; Stephen Green, aka Vodka Pundit; and Scott Ott, better known to old bloggers as Scrapple Face. They’ve all been around for a long time.

This tripartite discussion is interesting as anthropology if you’re not from here. On the other hand, it’s got a familiar ring if you are from around here. They’re right: this is where the dinky hall monitor ends up in adulthood and he’s still a dink.

We need a laugh, so enjoy.

Auschwitz and the SPD

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As an appropriate follow-up to tonight’s panel discussion from Israel, Henryk Broder writes about the shameless exploitation of Auschwitz by German Social Democrats.

Many thanks to JLH for the translation from Mr. Broder’s website:

Auschwitz and the SPD

by Henryk M. Broder
May 9, 2019

The fantasy land of German social democracy is located in southern Poland, about 70 kilometers west of Cracow and about 40 kilometers southeast of Katowice. The geographic coordinates are: latitude 50°02′03″ N and longitude 19°12′37″E, 232 meters above sea level. The place is called Auschwitz, alternatively Oswiecim, and was designated by UNESCO as a World Cultural Heritage Site.

For over a million people, Auschwitz was a final stop and a mass grave. For Heiko Maas,[1] it was a factor that decided his choice of profession. He had, says the minister, “entered politics because of Auschwitz.” Actually, he entered politics because his second state law examination was so bad that he had no chance of being appointed as a state’s attorney or a judge — not even in Saarland. So he became a politician. Because of Auschwitz. Give me a break!

Sigmar Gabriel[2] did not enter politics because of Auschwitz, but because of his father, who was a Nazi, as Gabriel admitted unasked. It is seen as the metaphorical equivalent. As his father is for one of them, Auschwitz is for the other. And Gabriel, too, refers often to that German symbol of longing. At a fundraiser of the German National Foundation for the European elections, he said it “was exciting” to participate as the continent was being shaped. And that it was “a ray of hope that, in a time full of conflict, we have managed to come from Auschwitz to Maastricht in less than a generation. I find it a genuine miracle that we have come from hostility and genocide in less than a human lifespan, to become first partners and then friends. That is the real miracle of the European Union’s guiding light in an otherwise grim world.”

Yes, he really said that — the big baby of the SPD — and with a facial expression as if he had just discovered that there had been a short circuit in his playroom, where he had spent so many happy hours. Similarly, for Maas and some bards of the SPD, Auschwitz is not the last stop, but the light at the end of the tunnel, a start, the beginning of a better world. The people who died in this place did not die in vain. The gods heard their cries for help and made possible a direct connection from Auschwitz to Maastricht. And now, according to the subtext, if we don’t watch out, we will be going back to Auschwitz.

Gabriel is nuts, to say the least. What he is doing is covered by paragraph 168 of the criminal code[3] and is “punishable by up to three years’ imprisonment or a financial fine.” Or a long weekend in Greifswald with the youngsters of Feine Sahne Fischfilet [German punk band] in company with Robert Menasse [Austrian writer known for themes of loneliness and alienation] and Heiko Maas.

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