Category Archives: You can’t make this [redacted] up

Does This Drone Make Me Look Fat?

Posted on by
3

If you’re an impresario who wants to stage a fashion show in Saudi Arabia, you obviously can’t have any of those lascivious harlots parading down the runway in skimpy attire in front of men who are not their fathers, brothers, uncles, or sons. So what to do?

A Saudi entrepreneur has found an ingenious solution: use special-purposed drones to carry the garments through the room above the heads of the audience, creating what Vlad calls “Ghost Wives”.

This would have seemed a far-fetched gag if it appeared in a late-night TV spoof. Yet here it is — you definitely can’t make this excrement up:

Hat tip: Vlad Tepes.

German Judge Throws the Book at Culture-Enricher: Six Years for Raping an Old Lady Five Times

Posted on by
23

The following report by Egri Nök was published earlier at Vlad Tepes in a slightly different form.

Six Years For Enricher Who Raped 82-Year-Old Lady Five Times, Finds German Court

by Egri Nök

An original translation from Focus:

He Raped An 82-Year-Old Five Times: Now Dzengis D. Faces Jail

March 27, 2018

What Dzengis D. allegedly did is hard to bear: it appears that last summer he abused an 82-year-old, raped her five times.

The old lady was under his control for about an hour, and had to endure the humiliating torment. Now Dzengis D. has been sentenced.

The crime took place in Wilhelmsburg [Hamburg]: On the morning of July 8, 2017, the 29-year-old broke into the apartment of the old lady through her open balcony door. This was the beginning of the 82-year-old’s torment: for about an hour, Dzengis D. repeatedly raped her, five times in total. Before he fled, he stole €100 from the 82-year-old.

There is evidence beyond doubt that the defendant was the perpetrator, announces the judge on Tuesday. In the apartment of the 82-year-old, the investigators found among other things the defendant’s mobile phone, which had slipped from his trousers during the crime.

The old lady suffered several injuries. Since the 29-year-old is HIV positive, she had to undergo HIV prophylaxis with severe side effects, and until this day, she suffers from the long-term effects of the deed. According to Georg Haller, chairman of the criminal chamber, the old lady barely dares to leave the house anymore, or even to open the windows for fresh air. She suffers from a sleep disorder.

On Tuesday the court found the defendant guilty of grave rape and intentional battery and theft. He will have to go to jail for six years. The Federal Prosecutor had demanded six years and ten months jail time, the defense lawyer had pleaded for four or five years.

The deed evoked disbelief and shock among everyone involved in the trial, said judge Haller. “To rape an 82-year-old woman for one hour can only be met with absolute lack of understanding.” He added, unusually emotional for an experienced judge: “The whole crime is just reprehensible.”

The 29-year-old was calculating and careful during his deed. Before he raped the woman for the first time, he handed her her asthma spray that she asked for. “To put it bluntly: The defendant isn’t ill, he is simply evil,” said Haller. The 29-year-old, measly and bald, held his hands in front of his face and accepted the verdict with lowered head.

[Whimsical interpolation from the Baron:

The judge added, “I’m warning you, young man: next time it will be the comfy chair!”]

FaceAche Strikes Again

Posted on by
33

Well, that Terrible Twos developmentally delayed troika – Facebook and Gargle/YahooTube – have banned/suspended Jordan Peterson. This round goes to FaceAche, since it’s the one currently messing with him:

GoV readers know how much I loathe Zuck; but you may not know I traded in Gargle for DuckDuckGo a few years ago. YahooTube is a muddle of inconsistency: currently, Dr. Peterson’s 574,000 subscribers wouldn’t stop them from banning him, either – just as they did previously.

I didn’t investigate his experience with Twee; I’ll bet he’s living on borrowed time flying on the back of Stalin’s bluebird-brain, too.

What these totalitarians don’t realize is that Dr. Peterson is a force of nature. If they keep fooling around with his accounts, he’s smart enough to find/build alternative routes for his work. What he’s doing is far too important to be erased by The Totalitarians.

Just wait till the angry people start demanding these modern-day Robber Barons be brought to heel. They’ll get to learn a little history.

Dr Peterson, Ms. DimBulb, and a Lobster Walk into a Bar

Posted on by
68

[The title of this post was lifted and changed; with apologies to a YouTube channel, The Saad Truth, found here. Since seeing his title, all others seem too tame now, which will become apparent in the course of this takedown – on the off chance you haven’t yet witnessed this humiliation.]

Being an American, I was (gratefully) unaware of this BBC Channel Four news babe. Or journalista, if you prefer. Ignorance of her future work is greatly to be desired since, as is the case for much of the American MSM, she appears to suffer from a terminal case of cognitive dissonance. Combined with her inability to hear or to parse Dr. Peterson’s statements, these deficits should, one thinks, serve her well in her chosen profession (and we all know how old that profession is).

Dr. Peterson evidently appeared on this wymyn’s program in aid of selling his book,

12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos

Our GoV link for the book is here.

The book can be pre-ordered, to arrive tomorrow, if you want the Kindle version.

An editorial review (by one of my favorite culture critics) says:

“Jordan Peterson is the most important and influential Canadian thinker since Marshall McLuhan. His international fame and impact continue to grow exponentially. Peterson’s bold interdisciplinary synthesis of psychology, anthropology, science, politics and comparative religion is forming the template for the genuinely humanistic university of the future.” —Camille Paglia

For those too young to remember McLuhan, he no doubt has a wiki page. For those old enough to remember his predictions, you know how prescient he was.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

Channel Four is no doubt off somewhere licking its wounds and wondering if they’re mortal afflictions. Those lacerations certainly are as wide as a church door. Well, at the very least, a small country church door.

My acquaintance with Dr Peterson’s work is fairly recent, but I plan to make up for my ignorance with an in-depth study of his writings. I do wish his early research on the sons of alcoholics was more widely available. Yes, the many articles are co-authored with other young scholars, but just based on their breadth, they deserve wider dissemination.

We’ll be posting more of his talks in the future.

I welcome your comments on this video or on his work in general.

An Udderly Ruthless Attack on the Police

Posted on by

The following report by Egri Nök was posted earlier today at Vlad Tepes in a slightly different form.

Germany: An Udderly Ruthless Attack on Federal Police

An original translation from a German Federal Police press release.

BPOLD-B: Federal Police Officers Squirted with Breast Milk

08.12.2017 — 12:55

Jüterborg (Teltow-Fläming) (ots) — Federal Police Officers experienced an unusual attack at the Jüterborg train station last Thursday. Two persons had used the regional express to Jüterborg without a necessary train ticket. At the ensuing control by the Federal Police, the 30-year old woman stripped down completely naked, and squirted breast milk on the officers.

Around 11:30am, Federal Police were called to the train station Jüterborg, to control two persons who had been using the regional express train from Wannsee train station to Jüterborg without a valid train ticket. When the officers wanted to establish the identity of the duo from Cameroon, the 20-year-old and his 30-year-old female companion refused to identify themselves to the officers. On the way to the official vehicle, the young man dropped to the ground, resisted the police, and struck at the officers. Upon this, his 30-year-old companion began screaming loudly, and stripped down completely naked in public. While the officers were handcuffing the 20-year-old, she squirted breast milk from her breasts onto the officers.

After the officers managed to calm down the situation they were able to establish the identity of the two persons. The officers opened investigations for obtaining services surreptitiously. The 20-year-old will have to answer for resisting officers. An investigation for battery is opened against his 30-year-old female companion. After the police procedures were completed, the duo were able to continue their journey.

Grenade Attack on Police in Uppsala

Posted on by

A “youth” detonates an explosive in a parking garage. The police nab him and bring him in. In response, some of his buddies throw a hand grenade at a police car.

Welcome to Modern Multicultural Sweden!

Many thanks to Tania Groth for translating this article from 24Uppsala:

EXTRA: A hand grenade was thrown against a police car — exploded on the road

This is how the event occurred yesterday evening. “There is panic throughout the organization”.

Tuesday morning 24Uppsala reported on an explosion that occurred on Monday evening. Some sort of explosive charge was detonated in a parking garage near the police station, damaging several nearby cars.

Earlier this morning, the police announced that a 20-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of involvement in attempted murder and general mayhem.

At 11:10pm last night a loud explosion could be heard in the area of the Uppsala police station. According to sources for 24Uppsala.se, a grenade was thrown against a police car that was driving in the vicinity at the time.

The grenade, however, must have missed the police car and instead detonated on the road, resulting in a pressure wave in the direction of a residential area.

“There is panic throughout the organization right now. We already have several murders and shootings, and now this,” says a police officer who wishes to remain anonymous.

Follow-up summarized by Tania from Nettavisen.no:

In this article, the police spokeswoman Lisa Sandervik mentions that it likely is a result of recent events. “Last week we had an action in Gottsunda / Valsätra district (no-go zone), where we now have a situation we must assume is an action in retribution for the police operation in the area,” says Sannervik.

Syrian Culture-Enricher Finds Romance in a Berlin Park — With a Pony

Posted on by

This article by Egri Nök was published earlier today at Vlad Tepes in a slightly different form.

Berlin: Syrian Rapes Pony On “Children’s Farm” in Public Park

by Egri Nök

An original translation from Berliner Morgenpost.

Zoophilia Case in Berlin

Man allegedly sexually assaulted pony in Görlitzer Park

A babysitter with a young child saw the scene, photographed the man and saw to his arrest

November 10, 2017
by Sebastian Geisler

A young man allegedly sexually assaulted a pony of the “Children’s Farm” in Görlitzer Park. An employee of the institution confirms this to Berliner Morgenpost. The incident occurred on Friday of last week around 3pm. Amanda F. (name changed by our editorial staff) described the incident to Berliner Morgenpost. “My babysitter took a walk with our son through Görlitzer Park. They had to witness the man sexually assaulting the pony.” Her babysitter told her about the incident, and also spoke to the so-called “park runners”. She did not want to comment on the incident. The scene was too traumatic.

The employee of the children’s farm tells Berliner Morgenpost that the babysitter quick-wittedly took a photo of the man as he was committing the deed, and immediately contacted employees of the children’s farm. They consulted the “park-runners” who are there to ensure safety in the Görlitzer Park. The employee called the police. The young man realized that his deed did not go unnoticed, backed off of the animal, and disappeared in the park for awhile.

The man received a house ban and a police complaint

The “park runners” searched and found the man based on the photo, and held him until the police arrived. Police then recorded the man’s personal particulars. “We banned him from the premises,” says the employee. “Should he return, we will report this. We have never had an incident like that before.” They filed charges with the police. The police confirmed the charges for violating the animal welfare law, and “causing a public nuisance through sexual acts” against a 23-year-old native of Syria.

The children’s zoo is particularly popular with young children. They have two ponies, two donkeys, half a dozen sheep and goats, and ten each of chickens, ducks and rabbits. “All year round we have such positive things happening here,” says the employee. “It is a pity that now we are being associated with such an incident.”

The punishment for “causing a public nuisance” in Germany is, according to paragraph 183a of the criminal code, imprisonment for up to a year, or a fine. Violating the animal protection law is punishable by a prison sentence of up to three years, or a fine, if the animal was caused significant pain.

Translator’s note:

*   “Park runners”: after giving up all attempts to get the drug dealing in Görlitzer Park under control, the city of Berlin now employs Turkish and Arab street workers, who patrol the Görlitzer Park to engage in dialogue on an equal footing with the 180-200 drug dealers (largely refugees from African countries) and encourage a friendlier atmosphere (Tagesspiegel: Auf Augenhöhe mit den Drogendealern).