Virulent New Strain of COVID Discovered in Myanmar

Yangon, Myanmar (Reuters) — Researchers at the King Tharrawaddy Virological Institute in Yangon have discovered a new variant of the COVID virus which they say is more virulent and possibly far more deadly than any earlier variants, even the British one.

Zaw Wai Soe, the acting Minister of Health, made the announcement on Wednesday during a Zoom conference call with high-ranking officials in the military government. Dr. Zaw Wai Soe, after consulting with the World Health Organization, determined that the new strain of coronavirus differs genetically from previous variants to such an extent that it will be given a separate taxonomic designation, Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome Coronavirus 3 (SARS-CoV-3), and be referred to internationally as COVID-21 as a convenient and easily recognizable shorter form.

The potential lethality of COVID-21 is a result of two additional partial nucleotide sequences within the entire viral RNA genome, one of them remarkably like a partial sequence from the Ebola virus, and the other resembling the Nairovirus that causes Crimean-Congo hemorrhagic fever. Microbiologists in China and Canada have ruled out any possibility that this new strain was artificially created in a laboratory, but do not offer any explanation for the mysterious appearance of the new sequences in COVID-21.

Epidemiologists who have studied the new virus say that the following characteristics are to be expected:

  • Symptoms of COVID-21 may include: high fever, coughing, sneezing, wheezing, eructation, bowel stoppage, bleeding through pores in the skin, and sudden fractures of bones in the chest, hips, and legs.
  • The virus may propagate via earth, air, fire, water, tree sap, motor oil, and magma.
  • Individuals may spread it by coughing, sneezing, talking, singing, exhaling, or looking at one another.
  • Virus particles may linger on surfaces and remain viable for up to nineteen years.
  • Standard hand sanitizers, whose active ingredient is ethyl alcohol, will be ineffective against COVID-21. New sanitizers containing acetone or toluene will be required, although a buffer for them that would limit skin damage has yet to be devised.
  • A person may be infected with the COVID-21 virus and remain symptomless and unaware of the infection, but the virus has the capacity to encyst itself in the spleen, lungs, or bone marrow, and then re-emerge years or decades later to ravage the body and cause disability or death.
  • The wearing of at least six (6) layered N-95 masks will be required.
  • A social distance of at least seven (7) meters [23 feet] between individuals must be maintained at all times.

Pfizer and AstraZeneca are already developing vaccines against COVID-21. Rollout is expected to begin in two to three months.

At a hastily convened press conference at the foot of the steps to Air Force One, President Joe Biden warned the American people that new sacrifices would be required of them in order that they might remain safe. He said, “Now, I know that I told my subjects… uh… citizens that we would soon be moving into the New Normal. But — c’mon, man! You can see that this… uh… new thing changes everything, and all that.”

Dr. Anthony Fauci took the microphone at that point to provide additional details: “As the president so eloquently stated, the New Normal will be delayed. When it arrives, HHS will notify citizens via a special app on their smartphones, which will also display the new rules and give people basic information about healthy practices, plus instructions on how they must behave to remain safe. The same app will also monitor their movements and activities to ensure compliance with the rules.

“I can’t emphasize too strongly that, unfortunately, we won’t be able to return to our old way of life. COVID is here to stay.”

In response to the dangerous new coronavirus, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson added a new, higher alert level to the four-tier system (Tier 1, Medium alert; Tier 2, High alert; Tier 3, Very High alert; and Tier 4, Stay at Home): “Tier 5, Stay in Your Bedroom”.

Under the new Tier 5 restrictions, residents may only leave their bedrooms to go to the lavatory or get food from the kitchen, and must be back behind a closed bedroom door within three minutes. Using new powers granted them by the Police, Crime, Sentencing and Courts Bill, police will monitor citizens’ compliance using drones, thermal imaging, and microbots inserted through mail slots or under doors to surveil the interiors of homes.

Inverting and Subverting the Woke Paradigm

Most readers will remember the “It’s OK to be White” poster campaign that has popped up from time to time around the country over the last few years. It was (and is) a brilliant move by subversive guerillas in the information war. They troll the Social Justice Warriors with an innocuous slogan that causes consternation and outrage, provokes billions of bytes’ worth of angry posts on social media, and ties up law enforcement resources as police are ordered to investigate the posters as “hate crimes”.

And those racial theatrics produce a clarifying moment for the culture at large. All the outrage and vitriol and legal actions demonstrate in a most emphatic manner that it is not OK to be white. That my whiteness — an inherent characteristic that I am unable to change — makes me a doubleplus ungood creature who cannot redeem himself, no matter how much he apologizes and debases himself and grovels at the feet of the Brown Ascendancy.

Any white person who hasn’t already drunk the Critical Race Theory kool-aid must surely have noticed by now that there is nothing he can do to appease the Woke brigades. Extermination is the only solution to the problem of “whiteness”.

The technique employed in the “It’s OK to be White” posters might be termed an inversion. It takes a common trope from the dominant culture and turns it around to create an unexpected message. And the genius of this particular idea is that it makes the message as inoffensive as possible. It’s not “White is Beautiful” or anything of that nature, which would have been an exact inversion. Instead it is mild and reasonable, which means that the inevitable hysterical response highlights the deranged animosity motivating the shrill harpies who dominate public discourse.

I was thinking about all this while I was travelling last week, and it occurred to me that we need more inversions of the Woke paradigm. Mild, harmless images and words guaranteed to make the SJWs apoplectic. The billboard at the top of this post is an example of what I mean — a kind, friendly, attractive black person who has white people as friends. What could be more racist and hateful than that?

If we were to put up a real billboard with the message, we obviously couldn’t use that particular photo of Tyler Perry, who is apparently a famous and very rich actor. I seriously doubt he would allow himself to be featured in any “white supremacist” propaganda. But surely there must be some non-Woke black people who would get the point and enjoy the joke. Walter Williams comes to mind, but he is, alas, no longer with us.

Just think what the reaction would be if billboards like that began popping up here and there in American cities. Mind you, it might be difficult to actually get any of them up. Even if a billboard company were inattentive enough to allow the message to appear, the local franchise of Woke Central would immediately call down the wrath of the police, the mayor, the city council, state legislators, and possibly the U.S. Congress against the WAYCIST who bought and paid for the space.

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The Mysterious Melanization of Siberia

D@rLin|{, who translates both Russian and Hebrew for Vlad and Gates of Vienna, sends this screen cap from a Russian-language forum (translation below):

Header:

Hollywood is working on a blockbuster “Gulag Archipelago” based on Solzhenitsyn’s stories

Comments:

  • I didn’t think that Siberia could change people to such an extent…
  • Nothing strange about it, they just got tanned while felling trees.
  • Morgan Freeman is going to play Stalin?

The Mad Dog Election

As you all know by now, Time magazine recently published an article entitled “The Secret History of the Shadow Campaign That Saved the 2020 Election”, which basically owns up to all the things that “conspiracy theorists” said the Left did to swing the presidential election to Joe Biden. Yes, it stops short of acknowledging all those hastily manufactured mail-in ballots that were trucked in at the last moment and run through counting machines multiple times. But it describes everything else we deplorables have been saying about what happened — the media manipulation, the alliance between the hard Left and major corporations, etc.

What stood out for me when I read the article was this paragraph:

That’s why the participants want the secret history of the 2020 election told, even though it sounds like a paranoid fever dream—a well-funded cabal of powerful people, ranging across industries and ideologies, working together behind the scenes to influence perceptions, change rules and laws, steer media coverage and control the flow of information. They were not rigging the election; they were fortifying it. And they believe the public needs to understand the system’s fragility in order to ensure that democracy in America endures. [emphasis added]

Perhaps because I’m an old hippie, the word “fortified” immediately made me think of fortified wine. Which is wine (or at least a base imitation of wine) that has been supercharged by the infusion of distilled spirits, usually brandy. The cheapest varieties of such “wines” are augmented by artificial flavoring and garish colors. Examples include Thunderbird (the old version of it, bottled by Gallo if I’m not mistaken) and MD 20/20 (bottled by Mogen David), more popularly known as “Mad Dog”.

What better metaphor could be found for the November 3 election? The Left started out with a weak, ineffective product, fortified it with a massive infusion of specially distilled votes, added artificial ideological flavors and colors, and the Biden/Harris administration is the intoxicating result!

It was strong enough to vote ordinary Americans under the table. And now the entire country needs to go into detox.

All the Self-Righteousness and Twice the Repression!

It’s time to take a break from all the madness and watch a brief satirical video from Germany.

Actually, it doesn’t really provide a break from the insanity. But at least we get to laugh at it.

Many thanks to Hellequin GB for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes and RAIR Foundation for the subtitling:

Video transcript:

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Hairy is as Hairy Does

A few days ago I read somewhere on the Intertubes that the word “pelosi” means “hairy” in Italian. Given that it’s such a fraught word, I didn’t trust an online search to confirm the accuracy of the assertion. Fortunately, I have an Italian-English dictionary on the linguistics shelf in the library here at Schloss Bodissey. I looked for words beginning with “pelos-“, and sure enough: “peloso” means “hairy”.

It seemed to me that “pelosi” must be the plural of the same (masculine) adjective, so I checked with the Italian group on skype, and they confirmed that this was indeed the case.

The problem with using this serendipitous information is that English doesn’t use plural markers with adjectives. We don’t say (just to pick a random example), “Look at all those hairies feminists!”

Nevertheless, it’s a crime to let a good joke go to waste. Vlad and I put our heads together and combined our brainpower (giving us almost an entire brain) to make this meme:

It works just fine in Italian. Many thanks to Gary Fouse for translating it.

Oh, the Humanity!

This morning I was rummaging through a kitchen cabinet and came across the following product, left over from the days when Dymphna was mistress of the kitchen:

It took me aback. Could it be possible that this item is actually on sale in America? Wouldn’t it cause incidents of mass triggering in supermarket aisles?

“Just Whites” is marketed as being wholesome and healthy — all natural, cholesterol free, fat free, sugar free, etc. But I am not so easily fooled. Everyone knows that Whiteness = Toxicity.

It don’t know how old the can is. Some of Dymphna’s foodstuffs are decades old, especially those on the spice shelves. This one is new enough to have a barcode, but old enough not to have a QR code.

It made me curious, so I did a quick search online. It’s listed on Amazon, but is “currently unavailable”. A poster on a food-related forum back in 2015 complained that Just Whites, one of her favorite products, was no longer being sold. So maybe the management at Deb El went through diversity training, wised up, and got Woke.

By the way: “Deb El” sounds suspiciously Hebraic, but it turns out to be a composite of the names of the founders, Elliot Gibber and his wife Debbie. Nevertheless, Gibber is probably a Jewish name, so I reckon this supposedly innocuous product is in fact a Jewish conspiracy to trigger people of color.

Don’t be taken in. It’s time to stand tall and resist the Whiteness!

Don’t be a Superspreader This Thanksgiving!

I urge you to maintain proper social distancing at your Thanksgiving dinner.

Greet each other from a distance using hand signals or semaphore, with no personal contact.

Sit at least six feet apart from each other.

No passing food back and forth — the meal should be served in previously prepared portions sealed in individual plastic containers or pouches that have been sanitized before distribution.

Wear your masks between bites.

There should be no conversation during the meal. Instead, people may send text messages to each other via hand-held devices.

Singing, humming, whistling, and non-silent prayers should be completely avoided.

Enjoy yourself, and have a SAFE Thanksgiving!

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

When I sent the future Baron these guidelines for a COVID-compliant Thanksgiving, he replied: “The sad thing is, this doesn’t sound like satire.”

I wrote back:

No, it’s not really. I just took the requirements from the diocesan “guidelines” for safe worship, and adapted them. And threw in a little sarcasm.

The latest innovation from the Episcopal Diocese of Southern Virginia is the fortuitous invention of the “singing mask”. Choral singing is allowed if the singers wear the singing mask. The congregation can’t sing, but a limited subset of the choir can (I forget how many, maybe ten or fewer). The singers must be spaced at least six feet from each other, and at least twenty feet from their audience.

And no, I’m not making this up.

Life is a Corona Cabaret, Old Chum

I don’t know about everyone else, but I need something to distract myself from the Election Madness that has currently seized the USA.

The following video is just the ticket. It features a cabaret song about the Wuhan Coronavirus by a German artist. Oz-Rita, who translated the video for subtitles, includes this introduction:

This video was recorded some two months ago, well before the less conformist among us woke up, so the guy really has guts. It subtly and musically attacks the (World/German) governments. It is a song, so the translation does not do it justice.

It was posted by Politically Incorrect, and this is how they introduced it:

Posted by PI Politik Spezial — Voice of Reason

Will Ludger K. (the artist) be allowed to perform after this video? It is doubtful.

Info about his performances at: www.ludger-k.de

I do not know if he has been allowed to perform since then.

Many thanks to Vlad Tepes and RAIR Foundation for the subtitling:

Video transcript:

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Behold the Fundament of the Prophet!

The video below shows outraged reactions to the display of hundreds of Charlie Hebdo cartoons of Mohammed’s posterior in a public place in France. Someone — possibly a multitude of someones — went to a lot of trouble to blaspheme the Prophet and offend Muslims, in response to last week’s beheading of the schoolteacher Samuel Paty.

Many thanks to MissPiggy for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes and RAIR Foundation for the subtitling.

NOTE: This video uses a vulgar word for the gluteus maximus, which is an appropriate translation of the French cul. That’s a special exception for this particular story; I’ll still redact the same American word (and its British equivalent) in the comments.

Video transcript:

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