Category Archives: Humor

Makin’ Bacon With Annalena

Posted on by

German Foreign Minister Annalena Baerbock is notorious for putting her foot in her mouth. In South Africa on Tuesday, however, it seems that Ms. Baerbock put her trotter in her mouth.

Many thanks to Hellequin GB for translating this article from eXXpress. The translator’s comments are in square brackets:

Not a week without self-harm: Baerbock speaks of the “bacon of hope”

Not again: Foreign Minister Annalena Baerbock (42, Greens) has again made huge slips of the tongue, causing malicious comments on social media. In South Africa, instead of talking about a glimmer of hope, she spoke of the “bacon of hope”.

A running gag has been circulating in Berlin for a long time. ALB, Baerbock’s initials, are now considered the smallest unit of measurement for the distance between two blunders. Many politicians only shake their heads at the weekly self-harm by the green foreign ministry. Most recently, the chief diplomat in South Africa made notable misfires.

Ironically, the foreign minister, who attaches so much importance to her studies in London, showed blatant weaknesses in English. She spoke of the South African path to freedom as a “bacon of hope”. A “Bacon of Hope”? Of course, Baerbock meant the “Beacon of hope”. BEACON, the bonfire, the flare, the lighthouse, meant as the glimmer of hope — not the breakfast side dish. [A real glimmer of hope would be a slice of affordable breakfast bacon for most South Africans.]

And she also caused irritation with the word “bid” for “bid for candidacy”. The slightly lisping politician made it sound like “bitch”, the slut. [Well, she isn’t that wrong in that regard, they’re all prostitutes to the highest bidder, anyway.]

President of South Africa: Baerbock is too inexperienced [That’s putting it very diplomatically.]

The Foreign Minister’s entire trip to South Africa was ill-fated. She had already turned politicians on the continent against her on several occasions. Cyril Ramaphosa (70), the President of South Africa, did not even want to meet her because Baerbock was too inexperienced and believed that the values of the Western minority should be the yardstick for the majority of the world. [Western puppeticians, along with their African counterparts, DO NOT HAVE VALUES, they have offshore bank-accounts.]

Only to avoid diplomatic complications did the President then agree to a meeting with the German Foreign Minister. [ I guess a root canal without anesthetic would have been more pleasurable and less painful.]

Afterword from the translator:

Continue reading →

Russian Sanctions Bingo

Posted on by

This is hilarious:


The Russians are superb at this mockery. This is much better than anything we produce. And look how good the deep fakes are.

Hat tip: Conservative Tree House.

An Open Word to Markus Söder

Posted on by

Gerald Grosz is an Austrian politician for the BZÖ (Bündnis Zukunft Österreich, Alliance for the Future of Austria) and the FPÖ (Freiheitliche Partei Österreichs, Austrian Freedom Party). He made the headlines in Germany recently when Bavarian Minister-President Markus Söder ordered the public prosecutor to investigate Mr. Grosz in reaction to the latter’s Ash Wednesday speech, which ridiculed Mr. Söder.

Mr. Grosz has posted one of his signature video rants in response. Before getting to that video, we need to dig into the origin of Carnival customs in Bavaria, of which the Ash Wednesday speech is just a small part. Hellequin GB, who translated the video and associated material, includes the following background information:

Carnival in Bavaria begins on November 11. It’s the official start, with meetings, building the stages, the costumes, writing the speeches, and so on, and then a few weeks before Fat Thursday, there’ll be speeches and dances and music on a stage, like a theater performance. And the rest of the year, after Ash Wednesday, you collect everything that can be used against politicians and bureaucrats, local and otherwise.

The beginning of Carnival on 11.11. at 11:11 comes from the 19th century. The fool number eleven was particularly suitable, since at that time anyone who violated God’s Ten Commandments was called a fool. The Elferrat (Committee of Eleven), the organizing committee in Carnival clubs, is also associated with the number eleven.

In the history of Carnival, the tradition of the speeches also dates back to the 19th century, when the Revolutionary and later Napoleonic French occupiers prohibited people west of the Rhine from taking part in political activities. That is why the people of the Rhineland, Moselle and Saar met in secret meetings in order to exchange critical and humorous information about political developments. This Carnival custom has continued to this day — anyone who climbs into the Bütt (lectern) can complain about anything and everything in a humorous way that makes the oppressor look ridiculous.

The origin of Fasching (Carnival) was a Christian festival, and describes Fastnacht, the night before the start of Lent on Ash Wednesday. For devout Christians, Carnival is still the symbol for the beginning of the 40-day Lent period before Easter.

The haydays are when everything comes together at the last days of Carnival, from the “bombarding” and storming of City Hall, through the last stage performance on Friday and Saturday, the Carnival Parade, Rose Monday and Shrove Tuesday Revelry to the laying of the Revelries to rest on Ash Wednesday when Lent starts.

Since the 13th century, carnival haydays have extended from Weiberfastnacht (Woman’s Carnival Day) on Fat Thursday to Shrove Tuesday, Mardi Gras or Violet Tuesday. On Weiberfastnacht, the women traditionally stormed City Hall, after being shot at with a cannon — I was part of that, too, every year as the Gunner — and took the mayor hostage.

The mayor was then placed by us in a cage on wheels and paraded through the center of our town, and he was only released when City Hall provided a “feast”, which entailed beer, coffee, schnapps and Berliner (carnival jelly doughnuts). The women, dressed up like old hags, also cut off every man’s tie, and if he was stupid enough to wear an expensive one — tough.

And now we come to the “controversial” Ash Wednesday Speech.

Continue reading →

Is April Fools’ Day White Supremacism?

Posted on by

Race hustlers have denounced a newly identified form of white supremacism. Here’s the story from Reuters:

New York, New York (April 1) — A racial justice advocacy group has denounced April Fools’ Day as a tool of white supremacy.

The Eastern League for Overturning Injustice, based in New York City, issued a press release today demanding that all observance of April Fools’ Day be cancelled by federal, state, and local government agencies, the mainstream media, and social media. It also asked ordinary Americans to use all lawful means at their disposal to put a stop to any pranks initiated by their family, friends, and acquaintances.

Mandy X. Antanaclasis (they/them), a spokesperson for the Eastern League for Overturning Injustice, said that April Fools’ Day has historically been used by the cis-male white patriarchy as a vehicle for the denigration and humiliation of women, the disabled, animals, people of color, and members of the LGBTQI+ community.

“The butt of the jokes and pranks on April 1 is typically a member of a despised minority,” they said. “People outside of the cis-male white ruling class are depicted as stupid, gullible, without a sense of humor, thin-skinned, and prone to react with exaggerated anger at perceived slights. Such stereotyping is a form of genocide, and we must use any and all means to put a stop to it.”

Citizen Antanaclasis added that the destructive effects of April Fools’ Day are so devastating that immediate forceful action by the federal government is required. “The forcible suppression of pranksters is a must, to the extent that such action doesn’t violate the First Amendment. However, to be blunt about it, so-called ‘civil liberties’ should take a back seat to the implementation of true social justice. If that requires a Constitutional amendment, then so be it! I expect Congress to get on the stick.

“Otherwise, those creatures who have historically been marginalized may have to take to the streets and implement true justice, by whatever means necessary. I leave the rest to your imagination.”

For Your Own Good, Keep Your Phone On!

Posted on by

Comrade citizens, your hand-held devices are necessary accessories that guarantee your rights in the Sustainable New Order!

People who don’t use their hand-held devices are assumed to be dangerous extremists and potential terrorists who need to be paid a visit by a Domestic Security SWAT team.

Let’s say you ride your bike to the GUM store to buy a pack of mealworms and some soy gruel. During your journey you are tracked by the CCTV cameras along the route, plus your bike is chipped, and communicates with the lamp posts and traffic lights all the way there and back.

And yet you don’t have your cell phone with you, comrade!

That is a violation of State Directive #4366-228JZ, which is punishable by two years’ forced labor at your local solar farm, cleaning the snow off the panels.

Better wise up, comrade! Put that phone in your pocket!

The above story is an obvious fantasy, since Comrade Citizen would be unable to purchase mealworms without using his CBDC on a hand-held device.

Get real, Baron!

Charlie Hebdo: We Paean Ayatollah Ali Khamenei

Posted on by


Eight years ago the editorial staff of the French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo took serious casualties as the result of an Al Qaeda terrorist attack on its offices in Paris. The Islamic action was in revenge for the magazine’s repeated publication of cartoons featuring Mohammed Pbuh, the prophet of Allah.

Charlie Hebdo has remained defiant in its publication of caricatures, and has just gotten itself in trouble again. This time, rather than going for the man at the top, the cartoonists are taking on one of Mohammed’s minions, the renowned Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the supreme leader of Iran. The occasion for the magazine’s new lampoons is the last several months of demonstrations, especially by women, against the mullahs’ regime.

The Iranian government has just made an official protest to France about Charlie Hebdo’s disrespect for its Führer. Many thanks to Gary Fouse for translating this article from the Belgian daily La Libre:

[Viewer warning above link— The message on one of the cartoons says, “Mullahs, go back to where you came from”.]

“This will not stand without an effective and firm response”: Iran warns Paris after the publication of “insulting” caricatures by Charlie Hebdo

Iran warned Paris on Wednesday that it would react after the publication of “insulting” caricatures of the supreme head of Iran, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, in the satirical French magazine Charlie Hebdo.

Earlier in the day the satirical weekly published dozens of caricatures featuring the highest religious and political personality of the Islamic Republic.

It concerns caricatures selected during the course of a competition launched in December, as demonstrations multiplied in Iran after the death in detention on September 16 of Mahsa Amini, a Kurdish woman arrested for allegedly violating the country’s strict dress code applied to women.

“The insulting and indecent act of a French publication in publishing caricatures against the religious and political authority will not stand without an effective and firm response,” declared the Iranian Minister of Foreign Affairs, Hossein Amir-Abdollahien, on Twitter.

In December, Charlie Hebdo had announced that this “international competition to produce caricatures of Khamenei was aimed at supporting the “Iranians who are fighting for their liberty”.

The authorities state that hundreds of people, including members of the security forces, have been killed and thousands of others arrested in what they generally describe as “riots”. They accuse foreign powers and opposition groups of stirring up trouble.

Charlie Hebdo published the caricatures in a special edition on the anniversary of the deadly attack against its Paris office on January 7, 2015, which was perpetrated by assailants declaring they acted in the name of Al Qaida to avenge the decision of the paper to publish caricatures of the Prophet Mohammad.

The publication of these caricatures caused a lot of anger in Muslim countries, and the 2015 attacks brought a wave of support for the magazine around the world.

Below is the Iranian press release, as linked by F Desouche, also translated by Gary Fouse:

Continue reading →