The Love Priest Welcomes Cultural Enrichment to Germany

Long-time readers will remember Tim Kellner, the former German police officer with decidedly politically incorrect opinions about immigration. In the following video Mr. Kellner reinvents himself as “The Love Priest” to welcome culture-enrichers to Germany in a highly sarcastic manner. (For a glimpse of the Love Priest before he became so pink and glittery, see this photo from 2017.)

Many thanks to MissPiggy for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes for the subtitling:

Video transcript:

00:08   Welcome back to the Love Channel, where hate, defamation and intolerance
00:11   have absolutely no place whatsoever.
00:14   No place whatsoever. No place whatsoever and never will.
00:22   So here we go! Germany is waking up! I’m not talking about the sleepy German couch potatoes,
00:30   but rather I mean the modern, progressive and cosmopolitan society.
00:35   For example, like here in Flensburg, Germany.
00:56   Oh, I just get goose bumps when I think about it! —I get goose bumps when I think about it.
01:19   By the way, that was the cry of freedom in the middle of Hamburg.
01:40   All right, now we have Erlenbach in the house!
01:58   And from the wonderful DITIB mosque in Neuss, the song of love is made known to us.
02:27   Yo! Wuppertal is in the house, too!
02:42   Those were a couple more nice images from Wuppertal,
02:45   where quite a few wonderful people have gathered
02:48   to show their love and tolerance. So there’s a containment ordinance, well, hey!
02:52   This is living the real joy of life!
02:56   Happiness, the modern cosmopolitan attitude, and for that
03:00   we all have to be significantly more tolerant. Right?
03:08   Dear Ms. Mayor —Man, what a stiff German! Isn’t that the comedian Luke Cockbitch?
03:17   Cologne as a safe harbor, wouldn’t that be great?
03:20   Dear Ms. Reker, please make Cologne a safe harbor.
03:23   Oops, my mistake, Luke Mockridge, comedian.
03:27   Absolutely correct, we want even more anchor kiddies here.
03:31   Please make all of Germany into a safe harbor.
03:39   Boom, boom, boom, come on brother give it to him! Give it to him! Give it to him brother!
03:43   Boom, boom, boom, come on brother, give it to him! Give it to him! Leave no one behind!
03:51   Let’s all make Cologne a safe harbor together.
03:56   Oh, another comedian named Ines Raviolli,
04:00   and I’ve found even more about her at her Instagram account.
04:10   Yep! Those are the fighters for anchor kiddies
04:13   that they want flown in, but your Love Priest has a little question.
04:16   How many of these anchor kiddies will they be taking into their homes in order to care for them?
04:23   Just a tiny question on the side. Winkie-smilie.
04:27   Boom, boom, boom, come on brother give it to him! Give it to him! Give it to him brother!
04:32   Boom, boom, boom. Yo Luke Cockbitch! Give it to him brother! Give it to him!
04:40   Help us to make Cologne a safe harbor.
04:44   Absolutely, and not just Cologne, all of Germany! All of Europe!
04:49   For proof that all these young potential anchor kiddies
04:52   definitely contribute to society, here’s an example.
04:55   Here’s an example of a young grocery inspector.
05:11   That’s just heartbreaking. How altruistic!
05:15   This young anchor kid sacrificing himself, his free time,
05:19   in order to inspect the quality of groceries. Let’s keep watching.
05:41   Well, even with my knowledge of foreign languages I couldn’t quite understand, but what I think
05:45   he’s doing is going through the grocery store shelves and taking random samples
05:49   to determine whether the quality of the product,
05:52   in the middle of the Corona crisis, is still good.
06:10   Oh yeah, I already hear all the Nazis, racists and right-wing populists saying,
06:14   “Why is he eating the cheese like that?”
06:17   Well, of course because this man had a difficult and strenuous
06:20   migration journey, so he’s probably hungry.
06:23   So double love thumbs-up from your Love Priest. Try to be a bit more humane.
06:32   Watch the people.
06:44   Amazing work! A young man doing his part during this crisis.
06:51   Your Love Priest will now exit this grocery safari,
06:57   because there is just so much more to do out there to improve openness, modernity and tolerance.
07:03   Germany is waking up at the moment and becoming an advanced,
07:06   modern and really cosmopolitan country.
07:09   I think it’s beautiful. Germany is finally showing the world
07:14   the friendly and beautiful face it deserves. —Quit using your politically correct example s***.
07:20   We need to put an end to these migrants before they multiply any further.
07:23   An honest man’s word’s as good as his bond.
07:27   No, never! Exactly the opposite. Germany is finally
07:31   waking up to become a modern, cosmopolitan country.
07:35   I, as Love Priest, will contribute my part. By the way, if you want to see the full version of
07:39   “Cologne is cool rocky horror picture show”, then I would suggest that
07:46   you go to the Love Channel. There you’ll find this video waiting for you.
07:54   Besides that, I’ll say love, peace and harmony! I’ll see you around and soon!
08:02   She pushed me and scratched me. —Pushed me and scratched me.

3 thoughts on “The Love Priest Welcomes Cultural Enrichment to Germany

  1. “Stupidity cannot be cured. Stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death. There is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity.”

    ― Robert Heinlein

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