An email exchange with Fjordman about current European affairs — including the “migration crisis” — reminded me of this future news story.
I wrote this piece more than ten years ago, but it doesn’t seem any more far-fetched now than it did back then. In fact, it seems even more likely today. The main unknown at this point is how much European territory will be too radioactive to be habitable when Russia and the Caliphate finally get around to dividing up the real estate.
Russia and the Caliphate Sign Non-Aggression Pact
Leaders finalize protocols to the Hudna of Lausanne
September 11, 2067
By Mahmud O’Connor, European Correspondent
PRAGUE, Czech Republic (AP) — Meeting in the historic Kinsky Palace in Prague today, Russian President Yevgeny Ivanov and Caliph Hassan bin Laden signed the supplemental protocols to last year’s Hudna of Lausanne, paving the way for a final resolution of outstanding security issues in Europe.
The last several months have seen protracted wrangling over the disposition of Russian and Islamic troops, the status of certain territories, and the treatment of Orthodox Christians in the territories occupied by the Caliphate. “The Russians have driven a hard bargain, as usual,” said Omar al-Belgi, a spokesman for the Umma.
Under the terms of the agreement, Russia will occupy islands in the Baltic, including Gotland, and will be granted access to all of Poland and Romania. Switzerland and the Czech Republic will retain their neutrality, but Bulgaria will become part of the demilitarized “Dhimmi” zone, and Austria will be fully occupied by the Umma. According to sources close to the Caliph, bin Laden plans to name Mohammed bin Rashid al-Masri as Sultan of the new Austrian Province of the Caliphate.
Of particular contention was the status of the mujahideen in the Caucasus. Russia insisted that bin Laden withdraw his troops at least 60 kilometers south of the Caucasus Wall, creating an additional demilitarized zone in Georgia and Azerbaijan. Under the final terms of the protocols, the surviving Chechens in the Russian Federation will be given safe passage through the Wall, and will be resettled in what used to be Armenia.
With her territories in Southwest Asia secured by her alliance with China, and her Far East buffered by Chinese Siberia, Russia is expected to enjoy more security than she has in at least a generation. “Stability in Holy Russia and stability in the Near Abroad enhance the security of all nations,” said Mr. Ivanov.
The last several weeks of negotiations were taken up with the status of Orthodox Christian communities remaining within the Umma and the Dhimmi Zone. The Caliphate has agreed that Orthodox Christians who accept their dhimmi status, pay the jizya, and do not overtly express their faith will be left unmolested in the territories controlled by the Umma. In return, Russia agreed to allow the Caliph’s troops to occupy all of Greece.
Roman Catholics and Protestants, however, are not offered the same protection. Observers expect the mujahideen to begin razing cathedrals and rounding up infidels in the newly-occupied territories, just as they have done in the French and Belgian sultanates. No non-Muslim journalists are permitted in these areas, but escaping refugees arriving in Israel have reported massive and brutal atrocities inflicted on non-Orthodox Christians by marauding bands of Islamic irregulars.
Russia and the Umma, however, are unwilling to let such events cloud their historic occasion. “Islam has made treaties with non-believers since the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him),” said Caliph bin Laden to reporters at the joint press conference. “We will accord this momentous agreement the same respect we have granted all the earlier ones, Allah willing.”