Mohmadin’s Lamp

Here’s a report from The Daily Sun with news on the latest violent extremist incident in New Zealand:

New Zealand Lampman Who Attacked Eight People Before Police Shot Him Dead Can Finally be Named

The ISIS-supporting terrorist who went on a battering rampage in a lighting store in New Zealand on Friday has been named as Mohammed Mahmoud Mehmet Mohmadin.

The 32-year-old Sudanese refugee was shot dead after clubbing eight people with lamps in Light of the World, a lighting business in east Auckland. Five of the victims were seriously wounded, with two receiving life-threatening injuries. Mr. Mohmadin is alleged to have shouted “Allahu Akhbar” during his rampage.

On Saturday morning numerous stores in Auckland removed lamps, flowerpots, wine racks, picture frames, teakettles, and other heavy objects from displays in response to the attack. Anti-terrorism experts have warned that such objects may be picked up and used as weapons opportunistically by terrorists. The bedding store Lullabies went so far as to remove pillows from its showrooms after Police Commissioner Beezle McFee warned retailers that a victim may be smothered to death with a pillow in as little as 90 seconds. He said that there have thus far been no terror attacks with pillows, but he fears that it is only a matter of time before one occurs.

Commissioner McFee defended his officers, and said there was no indication an attack was imminent when Mohmadin arrived at the store, adding that long-term surveillance is ‘difficult’.

In a bid to reassure the public, he vowed to increase police presence at lighting stores, bedding stores, supermarkets, gyms, restaurants, churches, and other locations where soft or heavy objects might be accessed by known extremists.

Police have not yet been able to determine a motive for the attack.

[Yes, the above article is satirical, at least for the time being. I used this report from The Daily Mail as a model (hat tip: Seneca III).]

16 thoughts on “Mohmadin’s Lamp

  1. “Mohammed Mahmoud Mehmet Mohmadin”
    What’s the Mohammad Coefficient on that one? Baron, we need your help, the rest of us aren’t mathematicians!

    I guess the idea that heavy objects could have been used to *stop* this terrorist didn’t occur to them. From gun control to “object control”. Where does this stop? Maybe we all need to be handcuffed before entering a grocery store?

    Maybe stupid government is actually a bigger overall threat than the occasional terrorist?

  2. Muslims are a pox on western societies. Their belief systems are so at war with ours that they really can never assimilate into western society. They should be deported the minute after they break a law.

    Everyone’s life will be a lot more peaceful if this is carried out.

  3. Muslims should be deported after the first breaking of the law. That will help our society greatly. If they can adjust to our way of life, fine. Let them stay. But if they attempt to bring their way of life here, they should be sent back to the country they came from.

    • Why wait until after they break the law? Allow them to stay and soon enough you wind up with Minneapoli-Dishu or Michiganistan.

    • Import the 3rd world, we will become there 3rd world, in case it has escaped your notice and simple history, there ain’t no unity in diversity, never has and never bloody will.

    • Sudan is a horrendous mess, even for a majority-muslim country. The newish government in the North claims to be more tolerant, and I daresay their intentions are good, but they seem to have little control over the militias which have terrorised Christians and other “infidels” for decades; these victims arguably have a better claim to refugee status than some from, say, Afghanistan, which is not to say that they should be taken in by European countries.

    • No reason you can’t have both. Kill the orc then jail a government minister and the policeman who failed to jail the orc on a lesser charge before it tried to harm someone.

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