If You Want a Cup of Espresso, Make Sure Your Papers Are in Order!

Below is the latest Corona-related rant from Austria by Gerald Grosz, an Austrian politician for the BZÖ and the FPÖ.

Many thanks to Hellequin GB for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes and RAIR Foundation for the subtitling:

Video transcript:

00:00   If in the future you were really to embark on the unique and dangerous life adventure
00:05   of visiting a catering establishment of your choice
00:08   for a small espresso for €2.50,
00:13   a few tips for your conscientious travel preparation:
00:17   In no case should you forget your NEW vaccination certificate
00:21   if you have already received your virological mosquito bite.
00:25   But be careful, only the yellow vaccination certificate is valid,
00:29   the old green one is out, so not valid.
00:32   Which will affect about half of the population.
00:35   So get a new one quickly. To secure your identity and to prevent forgery
00:40   of your YELLOW vaccination certificate,
00:43   take your passport with you to be on the safe side.
00:46   But make sure that your passport has not expired.
00:50   However, if within the last three weeks you have been vaccinated only once
00:54   and not twice, you’ll also need… in order to enjoy
00:58   your coffee… additionally a PCR or antigen test
01:03   before you can enjoy the long-awaited espresso in the goulash hut of your choice.
01:08   But be careful, the PCR test is valid longer than the antigen test.
01:12   In order to ensure the distance between you and the other customers,
01:16   do not forget to use the disinfected tape measure
01:20   so that you can precisely measure the two meters between you and your neighbor.
01:24   Before entering the premises, make sure that you have the FFP2 mask with you.
01:31   A mere mouth and nose protection or similar mask does not apply
01:35   and will result in a fine. After you have given the innkeeper your vaccination certificate
01:41   (in which all other vaccinations are neatly noted),
01:44   not the green, THE YELLOW, the passport,
01:47   and the virus test,
01:50   are wearing the FFP2 mask, then you register yourself with your name, your date of birth,
01:55   and your address in a freely visible guest registry.
01:59   If you are now making the mistaken assumption that you have crossed the border into North Korea,
02:04   you’re unfortunately mistaken. But if you believe that these regulations were decided by idiots,
02:10   by utter morons, you are unfortunately correct.
02:13   In this sense: Have fun on a fulfilling day trip to your next espresso!

2 thoughts on “If You Want a Cup of Espresso, Make Sure Your Papers Are in Order!

  1. The sad thing is that there is a very sizeable percentage of the fascism-leaning population who see no problem with such measures and will eagerly comply while informing on their non-compliant neighbors with the same enthusiam they showed their previous Stasi and Gestapo masters.

  2. “…you’re unfortunately mistaken. But if you believe that these regulations were decided by idiots,”

    No, not ‘idiots’. The judeo-communists who are in control of the ‘governments’ making these regulations Know Exactly what they are doing- using everyone’s Natural Fear and Aversion to being Sick to extend their control over the People they Hate.
    The Only Solution to this communist Pogrom is [intemperate recommendation redacted].

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