The Professional Crybabies of Islam Posted on March 3, 2014 by Baron Bodissey The latest from Pat Condell: Hat tip: Steen.
Crybaby behaviors would only be a social annoyance, were not Muslims also having violent tantrums and plotting fanatically obsessive terror attacks against us. If Muslims only were crybabies, I wouldn’t care that much, and certainly would ignore them and move on to more important problems, and more enjoyable endeavors.
Does humour belong in Islam?Well, …. Uhh…. No !
Is humour about Islam possible? Yes, if you are ready for a Fatwa or more.
Germany`s most popular standup-comedian Dieter Nuhr is among the few daredevils
who makes fun of islamic habits.
I try to get the punch-lines as accurate as possible, which can not always succeed.
Video… for those who want to enjoy.
Starting at sec.
0.40 There is that faith in the good in people, whereas the common opinion is different,
most people say, man is bad, he needs punishment, otherwise he will never learn.
0.50 That would be, say , the arab solution: what`s to say against cutting off hands of a thief, that’s works once, twice, the third time, well,that’s real tough.
0.60 We will all learn that justice and religion are closely related. We all watch out not to speak out untruth about Islam, because someone in Pakistan might put a Fatwa on you, which is a worldwide public invitation to shoot you and that was it. You better watch out !
1.20 This is why I will completely circumvent that subject tonight.
1.30 I went out to buy a Koran in order to find out what can be said or not…. There was nothing left to say..Too bad.
1.45 My mum told me to leave out that topic.Human rights situation in Germany today is not such that you can speak out loud… for the first time since 1945 you must fear to be killed because you say something wrong.
2.05 Some priest in Pakistan might say… my mum says: don`t talk about that! You should not always talk back ! That wasn`t any different in the Third Reich.If you didn`t talk back you stayed out of trouble….. unless you were jewish, …or gay.
2.20 But you shouldn`t be as well in Pakistan today, should you?
2.40 I tried sincerely to provide a Koran to check accurately, but that wasn`t easy at all.
I went to a book store which had an entire shelf of books about religions, but no Koran.
Then I checked the Fantasy-shelves… nothing. I didn`t even try the Humour-shelves.
3.00 I mean, as far as humour and religion is concerned, we should grant them more time to develop. They are still in the year 14-hundred and something and we didn`t have comedy by then, did we? The burning of witches had just started, and they do not burn people , there….do they?
They stone !
3.30 I do somehow pity the muslims that have been living here for decades and do not really care much about religion.Its not easy for them to be lumped together with islamists.I mean, I was a choir boy as a child and do not want to be held responsible for the crimes of christianity
3.50 So, how critical can one be with a foreign culture, always aware that you might be brandmarked as xenophobic and you said, well look, they mutilate little girls, arrange forced weddings, execute honour killings, that all was accepted as folklore among us politically correct folks.
4.10 Hey. That’s they way they are , hahahha.
4.20 When we met last time, Osama was still alive. Well , he found an untimely death, frankly, I always told him:Osama, I said to him, terrorist is not a vocation that makes your old days happy.
4.40 Now he is dead, because the Americans looked at surate no. 9:” kill the miscreants wherever you find them” and it`s always the guy with the gun who decides who is miscreant.
The Koran adresses to the non-muslims, so surate 9 says that non-muslims should be shot….or blown up, according to the respective local custom.
5.10 whereas the killing of muslims is strictly forbidden by the Koran, but Osama rarely acted accordingly.Al Kaida killed more muslims than George Bush. But that’s the way terror business works.
5.20 But let`s not be petty here, there is no smoke without fire.
Now he is in paradise and maybe he checked what it`s like.I mean, it was real stupid of him to subscribe to a pay-tv-channel and give away his address and credit card number.
5.40 I would not have done that, in his place. I do not know for real how the Americans found him, maybe he had a playstation or mailordered porn-movies
6.10 Many people asked themselves: may we enjoy the death of a human being?
Our chanceler did enjoy.The churches were shocked: never should thou enjoy the death of a man.I thought to myself…… well, ok, then…not !
6.25 Were you entiteld to enjoy the death of Adolf Hitler? Not the churches, of course, they had a totally different agenda during the Third Reich !
6.50 So may we enjoy the death of Osama? I say : Yes ! I enjoyed it for him, because it was his aim in life to be a matryr, and the Americans before all fulfilled this wish ! What a surprise for him. All the years before, he had to let others pass before him, the poor chap,
Now he was so glad that his turn had finally come.
7.10 He has no bad life, there in paradise, better than at home, in his “VILLA”.
You remember the pictures of this VILLA ?This goes to show why so few people want to be a terrorist. I rather prefer to be , say ,an insurance broker, both have one thing in common:all that matters is if you blew the year or not.
7.55 The martyr is rewarded by 72 virgins, the insurance broker at the annual meeting gets….
well, they are not really virgins, to be honest.
8.10 But the islamist wants virgins, this is kind of inhibited, because , in the end sex is like chess, right? He/she who knows the game doesn`t enjoy playing with rookies.
8.30 And those 72 virgins which the martyr is assumingly entiteld to, it sounds like much, but consider: you are there for eternity ! So , 72, after the first million years, you say…. Hoooh, huuhh, well….coming back to the sleeping room, you look and say: oh, no, not her again.
And some ask more practical questions like: what happens when you`re through with all of them?So before converting, inquire precisely if you consider the vocation of suicide bomber!
9.10 Whats with the virginity? I asked an Imam I trust , and he said:If you sleep with a virgin in paradise, she regains her virginity right after sex. I do not know what “ right away” means in this case: directly in the bathroom or only at breakfeast next morning.
9.25 And many women ask themselves: and what`s with us ? There are female martyrs , after all. Allright, I got an answer: female martyrs get – no kidding – their own husband.
9.40 It serves them right, in this case.
9.55 If I did not know that the Koran is the word of GOD, one could think that a man has written it.
Ok. This continues for a while, but I got tired translating. Enjoy it.
Another great amusing rant from Pat Condell, God bless him!
Stick it up your Khyber Pass! Love it, Pat. Please carry on the good work of calling a spade a spade
Carry on up the Khyber! Pat Condell should be recommended viewing for all in the Islamophobia industry, and in particular for West Midlands Police who arrested and charged Tim Burton of Liberty Radio GB for hate speech.
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Always look forward to Pat Con dell truth. Creative. Bam. Slam. I love his contained sense of fury. The thing that drives his fury is rage. Thank God he is a civilized man and WORDS are his weapons.
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