The title of this post has nothing to do with its content; it just seemed an appropriate header in these parlous pandemic times for an off-topic quote.
The text below is an excerpt from Baja Oklahoma by the late Dan Jenkins (who is better known as the author of Semi-Tough). Dymphna and I both loved the book. At some point back in the ’80s she photocopied the page, trimmed it, and posted it on the refrigerator. When we got a new refrigerator in about 1990, the yellowed clippings from the old one went into an envelope marked “FROM THE OLD REFRIGERATOR”. I found that envelope a few months ago when I was going through boxes of stuff, and have restored the excerpt to the refrigerator:
Mankind’s Ten Stages of Drunkenness
In only twelve years of marriage, Bonnie fancifully transformed herself from Rita Hayworth into Joseph Stalin.
Bonnie deserved all the credit for driving Slick to a unique psychological discovery, the unearthing of Mankind’s Ten Stages of Drunkenness, which were:
1. Witty and Charming. 2. Rich and Powerful. 3. Benevolent. 4. Clairvoyant. 5. F**k Dinner. 6. Patriotic. 7. Crank up the Enola Gay 8. Witty and Charming, Part II. 9. Invisible. 10. Bulletproof.
The last stage was almost certain to end a marriage.