Corona for Future

The following video is a “satire” produced by German state television at taxpayers’ expense.

Many thanks to MissPiggy for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes for the subtitling:

Video transcript:

00:02   We at Browser Ballet would like to say “Yes” to Corona,
00:05   because with this virus the planet is practically healing itself.
00:08   What’s interesting is how fair this virus is.
00:12   Old people are piling up while the young survive effortlessly.
00:16   That’s simply justice, because for the last 50 years
00:20   the 65+ generation has driven the planet into a wall.
00:24   However, it’s not just the old who are at risk. Also at risk
00:27   are people with cardiovascular disease who live in prosperous
00:30   developed nations. As well as in those places
00:33   where people don’t exercise enough and are slightly fatter.
00:37   Which nation is most affected? Oh yeah!
00:42   A good 48% of adult Americans suffer from cardiovascular disease.
00:47   And wasn’t it the U.S.A. got the planet in this predicament
00:52   with its “growth above everything else” policies?
00:56   Maybe! The coronavirus could be the answer to turbo capitalism, and it is REALLY working!
01:03   Air traffic has collapsed, production has decreased and consumption has been reduced.
01:07   There’s no better news for this planet than that!
01:11   Thanks to Corona, air pollution in China decreased in no time!
01:15   If this continues, soon we’ll have a green paradise.
01:19   And after all: Isn’t the main problem that there are way too many of us?
01:24   Fewer people means less scarcity of resources,
01:27   which means less hunger, which means less war , which means
01:31   fewer reasons for migration. So the coronavirus
01:35   is probably just a beautiful and sensible reflex of nature
01:39   that shows humans who is actually in charge.
01:43   That’s exactly why we should stop the petty egoism.
01:46   Corona is here, because we don’t deserve better.

5 thoughts on “Corona for Future

  1. so the Mexican beer infection is really a good thing. well, it did give us a kick in our hubris that was probably well-deserved. As for the rest of your statement, we should analyze those who did not survive the infection and construct a model of the victim type so we will know what sort of physical characteristics and habits to avoid in the future.

  2. Which nation is most affected? Oh yeah!
    00:42 A good 48% of adult Americans suffer from cardiovascular disease.

    Hmm last I looked there were more than 61k people in western Europe with coronavirus and 2,700 dead compared to 4,661 cases in the USA and 85 dead. Looks to me like God hates idiots.

    • I have strongly come to believe that we did not bomb Germany nearly enough back in ’42-’45, and that Patton was correct in wanting to take a detour through Moscow in april ’45. Suddenly, the op plans for Operation DROPSHOT don’t look so silly, nor does Senator McCarthy.

  3. Good Lord the stupidity it….well, it’s just [vulgar intensifier] stupid. Sorry son, but I expect gramps will probably bury you….and probably be all sad n [excrement]

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