From the Nuptials Returned

I returned from foreign climes this afternoon, after attending the wedding of one of my kinspersons. The principals were so young — how is it possible that such tiny children are allowed to wed? At least that’s what they looked like to me — and the one I’m related to was a baby just the other day — I recall it clearly!

I passed through some well-off blue-state regions on my trek to the nuptials, so it gave me a chance to give you an update on the election-sign situation. I finally saw some Hillary lawn signs, eleven in all. There were way too many Trump signs to count, a couple of hundred at least.

I realized that I could determine which party the congressional candidates were from by the placement of the signage. A campaign sign for a congressional candidate standing alone on a lawn meant it was a Democrat (except for those with the rare Hillary signs). A Republican House candidate’s sign was always standing next to a Trump sign.

Even the upscale neighborhoods that I would expect to be wall-to-wall Hillarites were speckled with plenty of Trump signs.

This is the weirdest presidential election I’ve ever paid attention to, and I’ve been paying attention since Nixon vs. Kennedy in 1960.

I brought home one other little tidbit for you, a joke. It’s somewhat naughty, so I’ve placed it below the fold:

Q:   They say that behind every great man is a woman. So what’s behind every great woman?
A:   The headboard of a bed.

Be careful where you tell that one. If a feminist is in earshot, you may get whacked upside the head.

16 thoughts on “From the Nuptials Returned

  1. Only third wave feminists. They have lost their sense of humor somewheres on the way. And I hear that there are fourth wave feminists out there. I am afraid to find out what exactly they are. Trannies?

  2. Q: How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    A: That’s not funny! (spoken in a petulant female voice)

    • That would require tiny feminists or a large lightbulb. (Bawdy, I know). You are a bad influence, Baron.

    • Why does it take three women with PMT to change a lightbulb?
      -IT JUST DOES!

      How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? -Just one; she holds onto it and waits for the world to revolve around her.

      How many psychotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb? -Just one, but it really has to want to change.

      And finally, before I lose my credibility as GoV’s token liberal:

      How many country singers does it take…? -Two; one to change it, and one to sing a song about how much better the old one was!

      • How many people does it take to change a light bulb for a Jewish mother?

        None! “Don’t worry about me, I’ll just sit here in the dark, all alone, with nobody to care about me. My children are all too busy with their …”

  3. Congratulations to the young newlyweds! (I presume she is over six years old, lol)

  4. Q: How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    A: None. The world revolves around them.

  5. So, the captains voice comes over the airplane speaker:

    “Ladies and gentlemen, both engines have failed. We cannot make it back to land. Crew, prepare for a crash landing over water”

    A young woman says to the handsome young man seated beside her. “My God. I’m going to die and I’ve never …… I’ve never known what it feels like to be a woman.”

    The young man unbuttons his shirt, revealing a ripped, very fit physique. He removes the shirt, hands it to her, and says “Here, iron this.”

  6. I like the headboard joke. Also the “Here, iron this.” joke.
    I’m not a feminist. And I laugh at everything.

Comments are closed.