The Wit and Wisdom of Jean-Luc Mélenchon

French voters went to the polls yesterday to cast their votes in the first round of the presidential election. President Emmanuel “Toy Boy” Macron came in first, and Marine Le Pen of Rassemblement National came in second. Those will be the two candidates who face off on April 24 in the second round of the election.

Jean-Luc Mélenchon came in third, just a few points behind Marine Le Pen. Mr. Mélenchon is the leader of La France Insoumise, which is functionally indistinguishable from a communist party.

Mr. Macron is almost certain to win the runoff, because Mr. Mélenchon told his supporters in no uncertain terms not to give a single vote to Marine Le Pen. If his devotées obey his command, that will be enough to propel Mr. Macron across the finish line.

The following video was put out by Jean-Luc Mélenchon’s campaign before the election. It features excerpts from the candidate’s remarks in a speech to his supporters. Mr. Mélenchon’s political philosophy, such as it is, brings to mind the Firesign Theatre’s notional presidential campaign of George Papoon: “You know his platform — six inches off the ground so no one falls off! One organism, one vote! The guaranteed annual year!”

Many thanks to MissPiggy for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes and RAIR Foundation for the subtitling:

Video transcript:

00:00   This is the eve of five decisive years for climate change,
00:06   entering its irreversible phase.
00:11   This is the eve of a radical change in the world order, the first page of which, alas,
00:17   was turned by the terrible war in Ukraine and the Putin invasion.
00:22   There are nine million poor people in this rich country.
00:27   There are eight million people on food aid.
00:31   There are four million poorly housed people. Twelve million people were cold this winter
00:36   because they could not heat their homes.
00:42   We French are lucky to have this decisive election.
00:48   We discuss serious things, not like some with their money fantasies
00:52   or others with their racist fantasies.
00:55   We talk about life, about the things that matter to our existence, right now, in this world.
01:00   Yes, there’s a majority for our ideas which it exists and we must join together.
01:07   nine out of ten French people agree to increase the SMIC [minimum wage] and agree to the
01:14   employment guarantees. If you want, in two months the monthly SMIC could be raised to €1,400.
01:20   If you want, in two months, all the prices of basic necessities will be fixed.
01:26   Nine French people out of ten agree that glyphosate should be banned.
01:30   Nine French people out of ten want to ban junk food.
01:34   Above all, every effort, whether human, intellectual, financial,
01:40   social, or cultural, we’ll use to stay the course,
01:45   at all costs, following the roadmap of the agreement of Paris.
01:49   This means France will meet the challenge
01:53   of climate change which was launched along with all of humanity.
01:58   A revolution is underway in our society, it is the feminist revolution,
02:03   our program L’Avenir En Commun [LAEC —Together in the Future] is fundamentally a feminist program.
02:09   Eight French people out of ten agree with re-establishing the wealth tax.
02:14   Eight French people out of ten agree to tax the profiteers from the crisis,
02:18   who have accumulated billions of dollars
02:21   while you, the people, were struggling with the technical unemployment.
02:24   With the government of the People’s Union,
02:30   we will enter retirement at 60 years of age.
02:36   This is the hour of the Sixth Republic. It will be the work of a constituent assembly.
02:44   We will organize another type of power in which there is, and the revocatory referendum
02:52   to chase away, if necessary, those who do not keep their word, the professional liars.
02:58   And the referendum of citizen initiative, that’s significant.
03:02   It’s the possibility for the people themselves,
03:06   directly, to make laws. France is nothing without its people,
03:12   the people are everything, but you will have nothing at all if you don’t do anything;
03:17   you’ll have nothing of everything, if you just let go.
03:21   You must carry this project high and strong, for a future which, for the moment,
03:26   is only a slogan on a poster: Another world is possible.
03:32   The whole world is watching to see if the French decide to change the path of their country.
03:38   We will be heard again. France under these conditions has a message to share,
03:44   leading by example, by its choice of government and by the assembly it chooses.
03:52   Opening up new paths and showing that France is practicable, that it’s fair and that it functions.
03:59   That’s France. This is the France we want.
04:10   Listen up people: with one ballot, we can solve so many things.
04:16   We can send out a call to the entire world: Everything must change!
04:31   I said I’m ready; our teams are ready.
04:37   Listen to the greatness of France, which will express itself if you want it to.
04:45   Long live France and above all long live the Republic!

9 thoughts on “The Wit and Wisdom of Jean-Luc Mélenchon

  1. “Mr. Mélenchon is the leader of La France Insoumise, which is functionally indistinguishable from a communist party.”

    True, except on the COVID thing, where he was surprisingly a voice of reason at some points!

  2. One wonders if it might not be best if the poofter is re-elected, considering that the whole EU is on the verge of meltdown, famine, and war. Anything that follows is likely beyond LePen’s control or ability to save. Macron can have the coming blame and face the firing squad (or the bayonet up the gerbil chute ala Qadaffi).

    • If there’ll be any Native French or Europeans left to do the deed.
      Personally I hope that the whole political, merchantile and media “Elite” will have their Nicolae Ceaușescu moment, along with their imported Third World Armies of Mercenaries still in my Life-time.

      I had plans to get out of South Africa and move to the Azores, fairly cheap and out of the way, but now I found out that the possibility of the Ukraine joining the EU is at warp-speed.
      Now I decided not to go near any country that is part of the EU, no matter how remote they are.

      South Africa is already being infiltrated at the highest seats of Power by the WEF, but at least we still have our weapons, unlike the Europeans that have been disarmed for decades in one “Safety” drive or another.

      • I see the Boers are ready for a fight there, unlike the bloody English who will flee given the chance.

  3. I want LePen to win and become president. However, the winner has already been decided by the WEF. Macron is one of their graduates.

  4. Firesign theaters. “Close the door and the light is still on.”

    I have heard about Firesign for many decades.

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