And Now for Something Completely Different… And the Same

The following video is a spoof by the German comedian Oliver Kalkofe. It begins with a few sentences from Chancellor Angela Merkel’s New Year’s speech, and then switches to Mr. Kalkofe dressed up as the chancellor, delivering additional satirical lines.

I’m told by some of the Germans that Mrs. Merkel likes to say trivial, inconsequential things and speak in somewhat dumbed-down language. The comedian does an effective job of mimicking her moronic speaking style.

Many thanks to Oz-Rita for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes for the subtitling:


00:04   The past year was a very challenging year.
00:09   This year is the same, but
00:13   different from last year, and I can tell you the good news for the future
00:17   that next year will be yet again a very special year.
00:21   So, don’t think that it will become easier
00:25   but it will be always different. So, different?
00:29   And special, in the sense of especially sh***y
00:33   but “sh***y” in a different way,
00:37   as for example in the past year, which — essentially —
00:41   was very different. The last year started
00:45   on a Thursday, this year on a
00:49   holiday and the next year again will start
00:53   completely differently, and that is on the first of January.
00:57   To clarify for you so that you can write it down:
01:01   next year will be a different year
01:06   from this year, it will be a special year,
01:10   but not a very different year.
01:14   However, to make sure that it does not feel
01:18   very different from the last few years, we in the Grand Coalition have
01:22   decided not to do anything other
01:26   than what we did all the other years,
01:30   but simply to repeat our proven, bundled incompetence
01:34   of the past year in order to achieve
01:38   a speedy standstill and a future-oriented
01:42   backwards-step, which for us
01:46   is also nothing special and also nothing
01:50   different. Thank you very much and
01:54   have a lovely new one.

7 thoughts on “And Now for Something Completely Different… And the Same

  1. It was too painful to watch the comic make fun of the chancellor, who is clearly in the early-moderate stage of frontotemporal dementia. Why hasn’t she seen a neurologist yet?

    I refer you, Mr. Bodissey, to your essay July 2016: Merkel: Is Dementia Setting In? The chancellor needs help not ridicule.

  2. This is the easiest-to-understand video of German speech that I have ever seen. Maybe we can take a lesson for good public speaking: slow speed, clear pronunciation, repetition.
    (I have sometimes wondered: if a skilled verbalist went crazy, how would the public ever discover it? As long as the patient’s verbal skills are undiminished, he/she could obfuscate as needed.)

  3. Merkels Aussagen sind derart doof, dass sie schon mal genial sind.

    Schlau gesagt: “Kraeht der Hahn auf dem Mist, aendert das Wetter oder bleibts so wie wie es ist.”

    [Machine translation:

    “Merkel’s statements are so stupid that they are already ingenious.

    Slyly said: ‘Does the cock on the dung, change the weather or stay the way it is.'”

    This is an English-language blog. In future, please use English in your comments.]

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