Okay, I’ve been around the blog block a time or two so I know the score (or at least I can see it if I squint hard).
So. Of all the words issuing forth on Senator Harry Reid’s unfortunate fall from Grace – or maybe from Sea Biscuit – the best are on The Other McCain’s website, guest-posted by her worthiness, Sissypus the Blog Kitty.
She says:
I got word via Her Majesty’s spy network (what’s a little ‘stealth outsourcing’ between frenemies, eh?) that Tony Scambilloni had a flight booked for Dulles. This within hours of the surprise announcement that Harry “the Cadaver” Reid was not intending to transition from un- to fully-dead right there on the Senate floor, railing about the Koch brothers or some other invented anti-Progressive bugbear. No, Poor, Poor, Pitiful Reid would leave his final trail of embalming fluid in the Senate halls after the 2016 election, and return to afflict Searchlight, Nevada with his lousy personality.
In stark contrast, how can you not love a Renaissance thug like Tony, whose art forgeries cost almost as much as an evening engagement with his chamber quartet, Chin Music? Of course, he had no hourly rate for his “professional services”, which ran the gamut of consulting from matters of body, to mind, to soul.
Access to the 5th floor ventilation in the Hart Building, especially on such short notice, would have been relatively hard for anyone bigger than a feline. Especially without the correct connections. However, arrangements were made, and a helpful security guard “let the cat out of the bag”. (Oh, shut up! You’d’ve used that gag, too.)
The wait was less than an hour there, behind the ventilation grill in the corner of room 522. Harry sat at his desk, illuminated by a banker’s lamp, his good side in profile, one chair and the door in view. Reid, shaking and wheezing, worked at a stack of paper, and swore with more rhythm and passion than one would have thought him incapable of mustering, based upon the usual stream of porridge he emitted on the Senate floor.
The door opened abruptly, with a precisely measured fury. The hall light flooding the room mostly shadowed a man in a black suit bearing an instrument case. Tony.
Reid’s remaining good eye got squinty. “What the philharmonic are you doing here?” he demanded, as Tony shut the door firmly, then strode over to sit in the visible chair. He could have been visiting a junior college professor, and not the United States Senate Minority Leader, for all the waves of disdain exuded. The instrument case occupied what I presumed was another chair on the opposite desk corner. The light of the banker’s lamp on the desk somehow moved Tony’s look away from Robert DeNiro and more toward a Harvey Keitel.
[…]
Oh, Lordy. Pure poetry and purple prose – in a noir kind of way – from Sissypus, that Greek beauty of a boulder roller on Mr. McCain’s staff.
Believe me there is more in the same vein, so to speak, over there, including a link to this piece of modern genius:
The fB [future Baron] came home from college one year with that piece playing over and over in his brain. He sat at the piano, playing it over and over, compelled to get it down right. What surprised me most is that I could tell it was played in the key of Requiem.
A hat tip and gratias plena to Bill C. in the comments for this link.
I still don’t get it. If Reid was really beat up and didn’t fall into
his exercise machine, What was the reason for the beating?
I don’t know, but I’m sure someone will publish a book about it at some point.
Check Bill C’s comment. He has collected them all, including Powerline’s:
http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2015/03/what-really-happened-to-harry-reid-part-2.php
Harry Reid is a poor boy from Searchlight Nevada. He is known to hang out with some Vegas guys. And he’s retiring with a 5 million dollar nest-egg. Obviously, his promise of whatever fell through. Who knows, maybe I’m impugning his Vegas tough guys. Maybe it was really some Chinese investors, like the ones who set up those solar panels in Nevada, seriously reducing the bird and reptile population. In the real world of ordinary people Mr. Reid’s permitting those solar panels wouldn’t pass an EPA check. But Harry ain’t in the world of ordinary people so he pays big for his mistakes.
Washington is a lot like a shark fight. We only see the bodies floating to the top and don’t see the actually stuff that lead to the bodies floating.
That said, Reid didn’t have a exercise accident and he didn’t fall the way he said.
I have had those exercise bands break on me and they don’t whip out and remove a eye.
When a conscious person falls they reflexively put out their hands as they fall – and often sustain injury to wrists, forearms and shoulder regions. Often the hips of a elderly person are damaged as well. Reid didn’t have any of this.
Either he blacked out and fell face first onto a floor or was assaulted. If he blacked out, it indicates he may have a bad ticker or blood sugar issues.
If he was assaulted, it’s very bad. Because who ever did it wasn’t afraid of his power and reach.
Also his bruising looks like the sort I see on people taking blood thinners like coumadin(which is nasty stuff).
Here’s the other thing. Guys like Reid never, ever leave office willingly, that is their life. Outside of politics he’s a nothing and knows it. Normally guys like him are carried out feet first, they die in harness.
Being cast out like this is a death sentence to him. To be excised from the halls of power is the worst thing you can do to a guy like this.
As it is, he’ll be dead within 18 months.
Sad but accurate. Mr. Reid is the poster boy for #karma…
Perhaps the counseling session was to convince ‘Dingy Harry’ it is time to retire.
@ Big Frank…I’ve been puzzling over “Dingy” and how it might apply to Horrible Harry.
Ding, as in “tiresome repetition”, from here:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ding
Definition of DING
transitive verb
: to dwell on with tiresome repetition: keeps dinging it into him that the less he smokes the better — Samuel Butler †1902
intransitive verb
1: to make a ringing sound : clang
2: to speak with tiresome reiteration
Origin of DING
probably imitative
First Known Use: 1582
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ding
noun
Definition of DING
: an instance of minor surface damage (as a dent)
Origin of DING
ding to strike, from Middle English dingen
First Known Use: circa 1945
—————————————-
Or did you intend the adjectival form of “dinge”, where the ‘g’ sound is soft?
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/dinge
<a photograph that captures the dinge, the dreariness, and the despair of an addict’s apartment >
Origin of DINGE:
back-formation from dingy
First Known Use: 1846
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A clever use of ambiguity, Big Frank…but then I always was a sucker for a man who could turn a clever phrase.
Besides…the villain is definitely a 5th rate iteration of Dirty Harry.
His attacker is but the messenger in this morality play.
I’m not even going to read the whole thing because it is a bunch of nonsense. Harry Reid was either beaten up by the mob or he actually did fall into his exercise equipment due to his decrepate age.
Either way I am delighted that he will be leaving the Senate in 2016. I have pondered many times on this site how Mr. Reid became a multi-millionaire along with his 4 sons while being a public servant.
It was designed as “a bunch of nonsense”, Babs. That is the nature of satire. And in sleazy, creepy situations sometimes satire is the best response.
One can be glad to see him go while still finding the less-than-salubrious circumstances of his exit a fitting departure for a mean-spirited man who used his power to do evil.