Guaranteed to Make You Quit Smoking

This strange news story from Malaysia is reported in today’s Ekstra Bladet. Yorkshire Miner has volunteered to translate it from the Danish:

Couple killed in bizarre smoking cessation ritual

Maybe it was healthier to continue smoking? A Malaysian couple was beaten to death by family members to make them stop smoking

A Malayan couple were beaten to death by their family who tried to cure them of a bad habit.

47-year-old Mohamed Ibrahim Kader Mydin and his wife Rosina Mydin Pilay, 41, were visiting family members earlier in the week and said that they would like to stop smoking.

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According to police, a 23-year-old family member suggested that they try a ritual where the bad habit was literally beaten out of them. Four family members then banged the heads of the two smokers against a table and beat them with helmets and brooms. When a 15 year old girl broke the séance, she was also beaten. Her life is now in danger.

When the couple failed to wake up after several hours, an ambulance was called.

According to a spokesman from the police, one of the four held in custody belongs to a deviant sect.

No word on what the “deviant sect” is. Presbyterian, perhaps?

One thought on “Guaranteed to Make You Quit Smoking

  1. I recall several years ago there was a bit on either Saturday night live or Mad TV (I forget which) where a huge wrestler type guy hires himself out to body slam said smoker every-time he lights up. It was actually really funny. Either they saw the bit and truly got lost in translation or they are truly morons.

    I also love the fact that they waited “several hours” for them to wake up before they called for help. Forgetting the beating for a moment, I think 60 seconds should have been a good clue. As an old friend of mine would say. Troglodytes, primordial troglodytes.

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