A Drunk Muslim in the City of London

Ummah Jack

This note just came in from Bewick, one of our regular English readers and commenters:

In the absence of anything more interesting on TV I just watched one of those “Police” programmes. This one was about the City of London Police. Different from the Met, in that the CoL force is responsible for the square mile only — including the Tower and Tower Bridge plus a little of the East End around Brick Lane, and Aldgate tube station, with its now massive Bangladeshi population. Tower Hamlets. The true Cockneys have been expelled.

It was particularly interesting to me because I spent a year or two working in the Square Mile. I even saw on this programme some Asian shoplifters (druggies as it happens) apprehended on Fenchurch Street outside the very Boots store where I often bought lunchtime sandwiches when I wanted a change from Benjy’s or Prêt a Manger.

I’d never realised that there were nightclubs in the City, because after work I retreated to my hotel, which always was at least two miles away, and often five. I always thought that the City went quiet at 6:00 pm. Was always quiet when I left at 8:00.

The point of this story? Well…

A very drunk bloke had been ejected from a City nightclub for urinating on the dance floor and the police were called.

They found him. He was dressed in a very loud, shall we say “Hawaiian”, shirt. He was very drunk. When asked where he lived his response was “North London and I’m a Muslim”.

Just that. He clearly thought that being a Muslim granted him special privileges.

Seems it did, for he wasn’t arrested or charged.

Drunk Muslim? Who’da thought it?

Advice to foreigners visiting London: Wear a little beanie and yell “Allahu akhbar!” when Plod approaches you. That way, you get off scot-free.

2 thoughts on “A Drunk Muslim in the City of London

  1. I used to work in City just around the corner from Brick ln (NOT the place to go for a good curry, since as the poster points out, most of the places are Paki/Bengladeshi and not Indian-owned) so I know all the places mentioned here. And I would say 2/3rds of the entire population of London on the Street at any given moment after 9PM is either drunk or high. Yes, this includes Mohammedans. I honestly don’t think this Mohammedan got “special treatment” as it were. I have never seen anyone in London EVER arrested for disorderly conduct when drunk; and I’ve seen (and even unwittingly participated in) some all-out brawls (I was not intoxicated, merely at the wrong area of the tube when it broke out).

    I will say this: in London (and most Mohammedan countries, FYI) you will find far more drugged-out people than drunk, since a) you don’t get the affect of an alcohol smell on you and b) the Qur’an does not mention any prohibition against drugs…so they can make a case (although shari’a prohibits it, drugs are seen as the lesser of the two evils).

  2. Alcohol, in moderation, is both a vehicle for conviviality and fellowship, and a traditional part of both Christian and Jewish observances.

    Obviously, I have no objection to people abstaining from alcohol because of pregnancy, a predisposition toward alcoholism, ir other medical conditions – or simply personal preference (some people just don’t enjoy drinking). What bothers me are people who put a blanket prohibition against alcohol. There often is a lot of hypocrisy in that!

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