Let’s Party!

For a change of pace, here’s an account of a modern politically correct social occasion as translated by our expatriate Dutch correspondent, H. Numan. He says that there was originally an online article at www.gelderlander.nl describing this party in question, but it has since been removed.

Let’s party!

I love to see happy people around me, so once in a while I organize a party in my house. To be polite, I also invite my neighbors. Not really sociable people, but one has to be polite. They never say hello, never talk, unless it’s to complain. They are strict vegans and non smokers, and very vocal about it.

Now, my neighbors may possibly consider my invitation. But on several conditions. There is to be no smoking. Not in my house, not in my garden. No smoking at all. Period.

They abhor alcohol. So no alcoholic beverages may be served. Not just to them, but to anyone on the party. Alcohol is very offensive for them.

Lemonade with something bubbly looks like alcohol, to them, and is not to be served.

Since they are very strict vegans, they will not want to see, much less eat, anything containing meat, pork, chicken, horse, camel, goat or whatever.

That’s not all. They will not eat anything that has been touched by animal products. One doesn’t simply present them with a veggie salad. The bowl may have been contaminated with animal products. That is utterly unacceptable.

Therefore, they will cook everything in my kitchen. That way, they can also check if, by accident or intentional, alcohol is used in preparing the dishes.
– – – – – – – –
Only on those conditions they would be willing, under duress so it seems, to accept my invitation.

Now, last year I did the same. They were new neighbors, so I accepted their demands.

After the party was over, I had to spend a week cleaning and rebuilding my kitchen. So when my neighbors stated these unconditional demands, I told them: ‘Never mind. I’m sure you’ll have a great party somewhere else. But not in my house.’

Surprisingly, my neighbors didn’t accept this. They are actually furious. ‘Last year we asked for the same, and that wasn’t a problem.’ (Nope, it wasn’t. But we didn’t know you then. It was also before I had to buy half my kitchen equipment which mysteriously disappeared after you cooked there.) I am not reasonable enough. I don’t show any respect for other people. I just want to have it all my way.

Know that kind of neighbor, too?

18 thoughts on “Let’s Party!

  1. Very funny and almost true. One thing I have noticed that has changed about home parties in the last 20 years is smoking. Back in the day if you went to a party (even a non-smokers home) you would find ash trays out and have no problem lighting up. Guests were made to feel welcome and able to relax. It was no big deal. Open the windows the day after and air the place out.

    Now when one lights up they are looked at as a murderer and banished to the street. Unless of course someone lights up a joint. Then you are a hero. Depending who’s house one goes too of course. Liberal parties are notoriously smug and uptight (wasnt that supposed to be Conservatives?) and I avoid them like the plague

  2. Yes indeed!

    PC works well at as a self-imposed prison of sheeple as well as an intrastate enforced dogma because an unfortunate amount of people love nothing better then to fell permanently outraged – and usually on someone else’s behalf- and that warm glow of smugness that comes from the perceived moral high ground and the feeling of security from basking in ivory tower power.

  3. Libertarian,

    I think everybody knows its made up. How many people would actually renovate their kitchens to please their neighbors for a party?

  4. We are a very close knit group in ourr Group of houses.Three houses, with 8 flats in each, Making an “L” around a very nice garden.

    In summer, every three or four weeks we have a “Hoffest”, basically a “grill party”.

    That was until the Turk moved in.

    So concerned is he that we are eating PORK, that he actualy paid for lamb for all of us. And he has now done that three times…UNTIL the last one, when I made my thougts on discrimination VERY clear. Ie, that me, as a pork eater, was being discriminated against.

    Now I ONLY eat pork. But now, I can not have pork at these grills. So I have told them to stick their parties where the sun don’t shine.

    I will NOT be Dhimnified by some low I.Q turd, who thinks he is “being very smart” in insinuating his beliefs into our community.

    It has ALREADY been mentioned that next time we may like to have an “alcohol free” grill!!!

    THAT should be Berlins equivalent of all out nuclear war if it is even SUGGESTED we take up his “invitation”.

    Von Brandenburg-Preußen.

  5. Furor,

    “It has ALREADY been mentioned that next time we may like to have an “alcohol free” grill!!!”

    I am just curious. Who made that suggestion, the Turk or your dhimmi neighbors?

  6. Spackle stated: “Now when one lights up they are looked at as a murderer and banished to the street. “

    Ah, the possiblities . . .leaves one longing for the day when one finds onself hosting or attending a party wherethe typical apologist who attempts to defend Islam will receive a similarly uniform unwelcome reception.

  7. Spackle. The Turk. But he is being backed by the Dhimmi.

    I actualy tried to take them to court for discrimination against MY beliefs (Germanic Heatendom), and traditions. But I was told by both the Landlords (who supply most of the money for these partys), AND the police, that I neede to be more “tolerant”.

    EXCUSE ME!!!??? It is NOT me that stops the Turk cooking lamb on the grill “in case it comntaminates MY pork”. Who is the “intolerant one here?

    SINCE this incident I have joined “die Republikaner:


    Von Brandenburg-Preusßen.

  8. Ain’t it strange. Jews and Muslims don’t eat pork and have similar , if differently described – kosher or halal – methods of killing. The same really but with different names. Now WHY exactly.
    Well firstly they BOTH seem to think pigs are dirty (they are not naturally – or at least not more so than any other FREE animal except humans who discovered soap, and baths, and fragrances thereby depriving themselves of certain natural senses).
    Secondly it is a “religious” thing.
    What is INTERESTING is that pork DOES deteriorate and become infected and unsafe to eat much more rapidly than other dead meat.
    In the hot Mediterranean and middle east, BEFORE refigeration, then it may WELL have been sensible to advise people not to eat pork unless eaten immediately after killing. To do otherwise might well have caused illness and death. MY view? Well a simple health issue suddenly became entrenched in religion for no good reason.
    We ALL know the joke about the Catholic Priest, the Rabbi (or Imam) and bacon sandwiches and sex.

    the Hindu and Sikh aversion to beef is more difficult to understand. It SEEMS to be borne of a belief that the cow represents Mother Nature and a giver of life.SO it seems to have become “sacred” for that reason and that reason alone. It also became entrenched in religion.

    Now Sikhism IS a fairly new religion which borrowed from Hinduism, possibly Islam (which in turn borrowed from Judaeism and Christianity)and possibly other religions. Interestingly Guru Nanak DID say that Sikhs COULD eat beef but very few do. they even doubt they can eat venison.

    ALL very interesting. RELIGION appears to limit the available food supply when BEFORE religion appeared mankind were hunter gatherers and would eat ANYTHING they could find.

    Mmmmm. I’d SAY I was a Christian but in truth I’m probably agnostic or even atheist but follow Christian values which are FAIR and sensible values unlike SOME religions. IF there IS a God (or an Allah who is NOT Satan) and he didn’t want us to be meat-eaters then WHY did he also create predators like lions and tigers who ARE almost exclusively meat-eaters who WILL eat cattle, pigs, chickens, fish and anything else they can catch
    WHY did he originally make us hunter-gatherers who would also eat anything we could find until religion interfered? Doesn’t make sense. Guess you ARE guessing my direction – ALL religion is fake and invented by mankind to gain power. It DOES though give a sense of security and the rituals (of the Catholic and English churches at least – hitting my head on the floor 5 times a day would not be for me) ARE re-assuring.
    SOME at least of the “prophets” were clearly delusional and likely under the influence of drugs. there even is some evidence of that. Acacia for Moses perhaps.
    NOT that they didn’t come up with some sensible social rules but THAT didn’t need religion. It COULD have been achieved without.

    And REMEMBER religion HAS been the root cause of most wars.

    Here Endeth my first Lesson.
    Time for another Stella (hee hee)

  9. bewick,

    “ALL religion is fake and invented by mankind to gain power.”

    There are some very obvious phonies in this regard like Mohammed and Joseph Smith but there is nothing particularly power-hungry about the early Christians or Siddhartha the Buddha.

    St. Paul and St. Peter were executed for refusing to renounce their beliefs — unlike Galileo. There was nothing to be gained in this world by doing so. If earthly power was their aim then clearly they weren’t very bright.

    I’d say it’s a safe bet that the religions that accrue power and wealth for their prophets (like Islam) are total frauds while the others tend to have originated in a genuine spiritualism (regardless of whether they’re true or not).

    Sikhism doesn’t fit either of these categories. It evolved as a militant alternative to Hinduism when the latter was proving too weak to hold up against the constant bloody battering from Islam.

    “And REMEMBER religion HAS been the root cause of most wars.”

    Once you accept that war is a constant and ineradicable part of human existence, as every society bar our own post-1918 civillisation did, then all the rest is incidential.

  10. Right bewick, just what I sugested. Religion devides! My guess would be that religion has to be the root of these neuroses. Afraid to have anything to do with something that’s not in their book. “If it’s not in the book, it must be wrong and therefore it’s for your own good if we keep you from it. Whatever it is we daren’t look at.” Moses was a murderer leading ‘his’ people to the ‘promised’ land, but a gay teacher on a christian or muslim school is a hypocrite.
    I guess I’ll never understand.

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