For a change of pace, here’s an account of a modern politically correct social occasion as translated by our expatriate Dutch correspondent, H. Numan. He says that there was originally an online article at www.gelderlander.nl describing this party in question, but it has since been removed.
I love to see happy people around me, so once in a while I organize a party in my house. To be polite, I also invite my neighbors. Not really sociable people, but one has to be polite. They never say hello, never talk, unless it’s to complain. They are strict vegans and non smokers, and very vocal about it.
Now, my neighbors may possibly consider my invitation. But on several conditions. There is to be no smoking. Not in my house, not in my garden. No smoking at all. Period.
They abhor alcohol. So no alcoholic beverages may be served. Not just to them, but to anyone on the party. Alcohol is very offensive for them.
Lemonade with something bubbly looks like alcohol, to them, and is not to be served.
Since they are very strict vegans, they will not want to see, much less eat, anything containing meat, pork, chicken, horse, camel, goat or whatever.
That’s not all. They will not eat anything that has been touched by animal products. One doesn’t simply present them with a veggie salad. The bowl may have been contaminated with animal products. That is utterly unacceptable.
Therefore, they will cook everything in my kitchen. That way, they can also check if, by accident or intentional, alcohol is used in preparing the dishes.
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Only on those conditions they would be willing, under duress so it seems, to accept my invitation.
Now, last year I did the same. They were new neighbors, so I accepted their demands.
After the party was over, I had to spend a week cleaning and rebuilding my kitchen. So when my neighbors stated these unconditional demands, I told them: ‘Never mind. I’m sure you’ll have a great party somewhere else. But not in my house.’
Surprisingly, my neighbors didn’t accept this. They are actually furious. ‘Last year we asked for the same, and that wasn’t a problem.’ (Nope, it wasn’t. But we didn’t know you then. It was also before I had to buy half my kitchen equipment which mysteriously disappeared after you cooked there.) I am not reasonable enough. I don’t show any respect for other people. I just want to have it all my way.
Know that kind of neighbor, too?