(dedicated to Lyle Blake)
From “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” Fifth Annual Horrible College-Student Poetry Competition, here is the fourth place
whiner winner of this year’s event.
To my mind, it shines like anthacite, its quality well above the others. On the other hand, poetry is like, you know, subjective and all, like, so who can judge when it comes from the heart?
In fact, all of the entrants should have won first place. It’s the only fair outcome. No doubt, some school official will come down on Hatemongers for not choosing everyone. And deservedly so.
Without further ado, a sonnet by someone named Quincy (you know a poet is first class when he travels under but a single name:
Fourth Runner-Up: “sonnet of (equaliteez)” bai (Quincy)
how R U racist? let me kount teh wayz
U R racist cuz U R (white)
U R racist bai dai n nite,
U R racist cuz U fite
teh ones who teech (equality).
U R racist cuz U dwell
on mai lak of skilz at spell(ing)
U R racist cuz U talk (white)
ai reelee can(not) stand the site,
uv U talking (white)…
ai seez U, (white), az uh sheet,
KKK reddy 2 beet… (me)
(white) az AmeriKKKa!
U R racist cuz U deny teh (truth),
the fundu(mental) equazhun…
My cat was impressed with Quincy’s efforts here. She is black except for a tiny tuft of white at her throat; no doubt, this physical fact of inky fur was the deciding element for her. With cats you never can tell.
I will leave you to peruse the other winners. A little warning, however, about the third runner-up who seems a bit obsessed with body fluids. Probably a Pisces.
Hat tip: Pundita
[POETRY ENDS HERE, ALAS AND ALACK]