The New Year Comes With Ham

Our English correspondent Seneca III sends this brief and whimsical message for the new year:

The Mohammed Coefficient and the Great Unanswered Questions

A belated Merry Christmas to all GoV readers and a couple of thoughts for the coming year.

Piggy MoFirstly, I am of a mind that the values of the Mohammed Coefficient as oft iterated on this blog are grossly underestimated. By registering only the name ‘Mohammed’, and not taking into consideration its derivatives, the percentiles as given seriously underestimate the magnitude of the problem.

By derivatives I mean the singular nouns such as Hamed, Hamad, Hamoud, Hamdan etc. and collective nouns such as Hamas (Hamanegg was actually the name of a famous Carthaginian breakfast dish so it doesn’t count) and were they to be included in the count I feel the coefficient would rise quite significantly.

Secondly, being of a somewhat mischievous inclination and having reeled those names off of my tongue several times, it occurred to me that the time may have come for an addition to the pantheon of Great Unanswered Questions of which, for those of you not familiar with the GUQ, I offer the following examples:

  • “How do seedless grapes propagate?”
  • “Why is there only one Monopolies Commission (UK)?”
  • “How many damp cigars did Bill Clinton actually inhale?”
  • “Is there anything wrong with hypocrisy as long as you believe in it?”

and, consequently, I propose to add the following:

  • “Who put the ‘Ham’ in Mohammed (PBUH)?” (No double entendre intended!)

So, a Happy New Year to the Counterjihad…and what say you, ‘Nam!’ or ‘La!’?

— Seneca III

Previous posts by Seneca III:

2007   Oct   13   A Letter to my People
        26   Another Letter To My People
2008   Oct   5   Excerpt From “Ere the Winter of Our Discontent”
2009   Oct   22   The Cultural Death of a People
        23   Do Star Chambers Serve a Useful Purpose, Or Do They Obfuscate the Issue?
    Nov   8   By the Rivers of Babylon
2010   Jul   2   The ‘Phoney War’ Is Over
    Sep   13   Musings on the Winds of Change
    Oct   13   The Fourth Dimension of Warfare, Part 1

9 thoughts on “The New Year Comes With Ham

  1. Waiter, I’d like to order two Muhammad Burgers with bacon and cheese. I’ll also have a coors lite beer to go with it.

    sounds tasty. lol

  2. More GUQ:

    Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

    Why is material carried by boat called “cargo” but street deliveries are called “shipments”?

    Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?

    Can we eliminate all hypothetical questions?

  3. Where can I get one of those cute little piggy banks? (And please don’t say ‘Denmark’–a web address would be much more useful.)

  4. Years ago in Riyadh my wife was in a “ladies only” restaurant when one of her fellow diners saw the word hamburger on the menu. FD immediately went beserk claiming ham was an insult to the prophet and demanding the removal of the offensive word.

  5. @ Salome:

    Google is your friend. Just put in the search string Buy Piggy Bank. It will offer you two search choices, oone of which is a “bank” with no hole. IOW, just a ceramic pig??

    @ Albatross

    That makes me wonder what the Turks do when they come to Hamburg, Germany. Another Tiny Minority Meltdown?

  6. The piggy bank named Mohammed seems apropos since Mohammed explicitly instructed his followers to take all the money that they can get their hands on….

  7. “How do seedless grapes propagate?”

    They don’t by themselves. They are probably cloned like nearly every domesticated grape plant.

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