Holger the Counterjihad Bear

Actually, given that this incident took place in Kashmir, the bear needs a different name. Something out of Hindu mythology would be best, but I’m too ignorant in that discipline to be able to choose wisely.

Evidently the Kashmiri mujahideen were taken totally by surprise and never saw the bear coming. According to the Beeb:

Bear Kills Militants in Kashmir

A bear killed two militants after discovering them in its den in Indian-administered Kashmir, police say.

Two other militants escaped, one of them badly wounded, after the attack in Kulgam district, south of Srinagar.

The militants had assault rifles but were taken by surprise — police found the remains of pudding they had made to eat when the bear attacked.

It is thought to be the first such incident since Muslim separatists took up arms against Indian rule in 1989.

Bodies found

– – – – – – – –

The militants had made their hideout in a cave which was actually the bear’s den, said police officer Farooq Ahmed.

The dead have been identified as Mohammad Amin alias Qaiser, and Bashir Ahmed alias Saifullah.

News of the attack emerged when their injured comrade went to a nearby village for treatment.

“Word spread in the village that Qaiser had been killed by the bear,” another police officer said.

A joint party of the police and army personnel went into the forest and collected the bodies of the two militants.

Police say they also recovered two Kalashnikov assault rifles and some ammunition from the hideout.

Notice that gun control is at least partially responsible for a surge in ursine Islamophobia:

Animal attacks

Wildlife experts say the conflict in Kashmir has actually resulted in an increase in the population of bears and leopards.

Following the outbreak of the insurgency people had to hand in their weapons to police — which put a halt to poaching.

As a result, there has been a greater incidence of man-animal conflict, say experts.

There have been many reports of bears and leopards killing or mauling humans in different parts of the Kashmir valley in recent years.

Three years ago, residents of Mandora village near the southern town of Tral, beat a black bear to death which had strayed into the village.

Hat tip: Aeneas.

7 thoughts on “Holger the Counterjihad Bear

  1. “The militants had assault rifles but were taken by surprise — police found the remains of pudding they had made to eat when the bear attacked.”

    Sounds like the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

  2. Now folks, I know we’ve had our differences with the Kashmiri bears in the past. Some of you maintain the blatent olfactory prejudice that “they stink.” Others are allergic to fleas, and some discriminate against bears because they “live in filthy caves” and have atrocious table manners.

    But, we’re all in favor of killing jihadis, right? Well, that’s what bears are about. So we’ve just got to set our petty quarrels aside, cooperate, and play nice.

    New rules for counter-jihadis:
    1. Wear your standard-issue flea collars at all times.
    2. Do not make unnecessary references to bear-skin rugs or bare-nekkid ladies.
    3. Never, NEVER, turn your back on the bear.

  3. If it was a Momma Bear, Kali would be apt.

    For a Poppa Bear, Brahma. works.

    Maybe that’s what happened to Bin Laden.

    The Unbearable Lightness of Osama

  4. I am confused at the timing of events: Did the police find the ‘pudding’ the militants made before or after they saw the bear?
    Were there two batches of ‘pudding?

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