Danish Humor

Regular Gates of Vienna readers know Phanarath, who comments here frequently with great wit and intelligence. I spent a couple of days with him in Århus, and I can tell you that Phanarath is just as funny in person as he is in the comments, only better spelled.

Phanarath, his friend Semantes, and I spent several hours in a microbrewery in downtown Århus, drinking various kinds of beer and telling jokes. The Danes have a great sense of humor — as you probably noticed during the Motoon crisis — and those two guys kept me in stitches all evening.

Most of the jokes can’t be reproduced here in our PG-13 venue, but I’ll tell you my favorite. It reminded me that in a Multicultural and Politically Correct Utopia, humor can be a form of political expression, just as it was in the Soviet Union.

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It seems that little Ahmed had been studying very hard in his elementary school Danish language class, and when he took the exam, he got a perfect score.

The teacher made a big fuss over Ahmed when she presented him with his certificate.

“Congratulations, Ahmed!” she said. “You are now a Dane!”

Ahmed was so excited and happy and proud that he ran all the way home. Bursting into the house, he cried to his father, “Papa! Papa! Look: I got an A! Now I am a Dane!”

His father became very angry and slapped him across the face. “You filthy little boy! You have shamed our entire family!”

Ahmed burst into tears. “I don’t understand,” he wailed; “I was so proud! I will have to show my certificate to Mama.”

He found his mother in the kitchen. “Mama! Mama! Today I am a Dane!”

His mother scowled at him and slapped his face. “You should be ashamed of yourself! You have brought dishonor to your whole family!”

Ahmed cried even harder. “This is awful! Why is this happening to me? I have only been a Dane for twenty minutes, and already I have been attacked by two immigrants!”

[Nothing follows.]

7 thoughts on “Danish Humor

  1. Mohammed complains to his doctor:

    “Every time I have sex with a Danish girl my eyes gets terribly sore.”

    The doctor runs a few tests and comes back with the result:

    “No wonder. You’re allergic to pepper spray!”

    Sorry. I’ll get my coat.

  2. That was funny, so have done the internet thing and re posted them. Well done the Danes for laughing at the migrants.

  3. Perhaps I should have asked this in one of the earlier Baron-Goes-to-Denmark threads, but I was wondering if the Danes knew of anyone of influence in Denmark that read this blog — maybe editors at Jylland Posten or members of Parliament?

  4. Man! I dont get it. Why do I get fired all the time. Can it have something to do with my T-shirt sporting that huge

    Talking about swastikas: This fresh Danish research a professor from Molbo has been up to, say something amazing about our dear Adolph H. It seems that apart from beeing a talented painter he also was a skilled guitarist:

    Adolf Hitler hadde en gitarforsterker han kalte for Mein Ampf. Desverre var det litt mye Rommel i ampen. Men det Göring enting. Han kan når som helst trykke på knappen der det står Auswitch.

  5. Adding one from Real Life….

    Danish Police recently unraveled a ring of youths, you guessed it muslims, who had been hitting Brothels and stealing their money.

    I wont dwell on the culturally inherent do and don’ts on this one, they are obvious.

    The joke is….

    At the first Brothel these guys hit, they gangraped a prostitute, on the others they just took the money…

    Thing is, the prostitute they raped was
    a man 😉

    No Imam blessing for these guys eh ?

  6. Ques.- How many jihadis does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Ans.- All of them.

    (One to hold the bulb and the rest to screw the world.)

  7. Nerd, walking into a sex shop: “I’d like a sex doll, please. One of those inflatable ones.”

    Clerk: “Certainly, sir. We have a wide selection. Would you prefer male or female?”

    Nerd: “Female, please.”

    Clerk: “Black or white?”

    Nerd: “A black one, please.”

    Clerk: “Christian or Muslim?”

    Nerd (nonplused): “Christian or Muslim? What’s the difference?”

    Clerk: “Well, the Muslim ones blow themselves up!”

    Note to any Muslims who happen to see this: This sort of gallows humor is amusing for two reasons: the remarks of your senior theologians such as Sheikh Yusef al-Qaradawi, and the actions of your co-religionists who have taken them to heart and wrought havoc in Manhattan, Bali, London, Madrid, etc., etc., ad nauseam. If you don’t like my raillery, it’s up to you to stop the cause of it.

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