This is a Joke. Almost. Posted on August 12, 2006 by Baron Bodissey Go over to The People’s Cube for the rest of the information. Hat tip: Reader BH, and Carl in Jerusalem.
Satire rather than a joke, clever but not funny (not at all, at all), the newspapaer mock up is a bit overdone, but the articles written in modern MSM speak are spot on.
I get the point but it might have
been more appropriate to have done
a late 1944 New York Times front
page on the V-1 and V-2 attacks on
Here the parallels between today’s
rocketing of Israel and the German
Vengeance attacks on Britain could
be juxtaposed with devastating
RAF bombs Belgian and Dutch towns
said to be hiding V-2’s
British wiretaps uncover secret
V-2 factory in Pennemunde. Civil
Montgomery masses troops, unleashes
barrage into Belgium.
German missiles hit US soldiers on
leave from invasion armies.
Islamic scholars demand ceasefire.
Japanese PM praises Hitler.
It is not a funny joke. Have you seen the Aftenposten article by Gaarder?
Translated into English here:
Israel is now history. We no longer recognize the State of Israel. There is no way back. The State of Israel has raped the world’s recognition and will not achieve peace until it lays down its arms. The State of Israel, in its present form is history, writes Jostein Gaarder.
There’s no turning back. It’s time to learn a new lesson: We no longer recognize the State of Israel. We could not recognize the apartheid regime of South Africa, nor did we recognize the Afghani Taliban regime. Then there were many who did not recognize Saddam Hussein’s Iraq or the Serbs’ ethnic cleansing. We need to get used to the idea: The State of Israel, in its current form, is history.
We don’t believe in the notion of God’s Chosen People. We laugh at this people’s capriciousness and weep at its misdeeds. To act as God’s Chosen People is not only stupid and arrogant, but a crime against humanity. We call it racism.
Limits to tolerance
There are limits to our patience, and there are limits to our tolerance. We do not believe in divine promises as a justification for occupation and apartheid. We have left the Middle Ages behind. We laugh uneasily at those who still believe that the god of flora, fauna and the galaxies has selected one people in particular as his favorite and given it silly, stone tablets, burning bushes and a license to kill.
We call baby killers “baby killers” and will never accept that people such as these have a divine or historic mandate excusing their outrages. We just say: Shame on all apartheid, shame on ethnic cleansing and shame on every terrorist strike against civilians whether carried out by Hamas, the Hezbollah or the State of Israel!
Unscrupulous art of war
We acknowledge, and pay heed to, Europe’s deep responsibility for the plight of the Jews, for the disgraceful harassment, the pogroms and the Holocaust. It was historically and morally necessary for the Jews to get their own home. However, the State of Israel, with its unscrupulous art of war and its disgusting weapons, has massacred its own legitimacy. It has systematically flaunted International Law, international conventions, and countless UN resolutions and can no longer expect protection from the same. It has carpet bombed the recognition of the world. But fear not! The Tribulation will soon be over. The State of Israel has seen its Soweto.
We are now at the watershed. There’s no turning back. The State of Israel has raped the recognition of the world and shall have no peace until it lays down its arms.
Without defense, without skin
May the spirit and the word blow the apartheid walls of Israel down. The State of Israel does not exist. It is now without defense, without skin. May the world therefore have mercy upon the civilian population; for our prophecies of doom are not aimed at the civilian individuals.
We wish the people of Israel well, nothing but wellness, but we reserve the right to not eat Jaffa oranges as long as they are foul tasting and poisonous. It was endurable for some years to live without eating the blue grapes of apartheid.
They celebrate their triumphs
We don’t believe that Israel grieves any more for the forty killed Lebanese children than it has wailed over the forty years spent in the desert three thousand years ago. We note that many Israelis celebrate such triumphs in the same manner they once cheered the plagues of the Lord as “fitting punishment” for the people of Egypt. (In that tale, the Lord God of Israel appears as an insatiable sadist.) We ask ourselves if most Israelis think that one Israeli life is worth more than the forty Palestinian or Lebanese lives.
For we’ve seen pictures of little Israeli girls writing hateful greetings on the bombs about to be dropped on the civilian populations of Lebanon and Palestine. The little Israeli girls are not cute when they strut with glee at the death and torment on the other side of the fronts.
The retribution of blood vengeance
We do not recognize the rhetoric of the State of Israel. We do not recognize the spiral of retribution and blood vengeance that comes with “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” We do not recognize the principle of ten or a thousand Arab eyes for one Israeli eye. We do not recognize collective punishment or population thinning out as a political weapon. Two thousand years have passed since a Jewish rabbi criticized the ancient doctrine of “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.”
He said: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” We do not recognize a state founded on anti-humanistic principles and on the ruins of an archaic national and warlike religion. Or, as Albert Schweitzer expressed it: “Humanitarianism consists of never sacrificing a human being for a cause.”
Compassion and forgiveness
We do not recognize the old Kingdom of David as a model for the 21st century map of the Middle East. The Jewish rabbi claimed two thousand years ago that the Kingdom of God is not a martial restoration of the Kingdom of David; the Kingdom of God is within us and amongst us. The Kingdom of God is compassion and forgiveness.
Two thousand years have passed since the Jewish rabbi disarmed and thoroughly humanized the old rhetoric of war. Even in his time, the first Zionist terrorists were operating.
Israel doesn’t listen
For two thousand years, we have rehearsed the syllabus of humanism, but Israel doesn’t listen. It wasn’t the Pharisee who helped the man who lay by the wayside, having fallen prey to robbers. It was a Samaritan; today we would say, a Palestinian. We are humans firstly – then Christian, Muslim, or Jew. Or as the Jewish rabbi said: “And if you greet your brethren only, what more do you do than others?” We do not accept the kidnapping of soldiers. But neither do we accept the deportation of whole populations or the abduction of legally elected parliamentarians and government ministers.
We recognize the State of Israel of 1948, but not the one of 1967. It is the State of Israel that fails to recognize, respect or defer to the internationally lawful Israeli state of 1948. Israel wants more – more water and more villages. To obtain this there are those who want, with God’s assistance, a final solution to the Palestinian problem. ‘The Palestinians have so many other countries’, certain Israeli politicians have argued; we have only one.
The U.S. or the world?
Or as the foremost protector of the State of Israel puts it: “May God continue to bless America.” A little child took note of that. She turned to her mother, saying: “Why does the President always end his speeches with ‘God bless America’? Why not, ‘God bless the world’?”
Then there was a Norwegian poet who let out this childlike sigh of the heart: “Why doth Humanity so slowly progress?” It was he who wrote so beautifully of the Jew and the Jewess. But he rejected the notion of God’s Chosen People. He personally liked to call himself a Muslim.
Calmness and mercy
We do not recognize the State of Israel. Not today, not as of this writing, not in the hour of grief and wrath. If the entire Israeli nation should fall to its own devices and parts of the population has to flee their occupied areas into another Diaspora, then we say: May their surroundings stay calm and show them mercy. It is an eternal crime, without mitigating circumstances, to lay hand on refugees and a stateless people.
Peace and free passage for the evacuating, civilian population no longer protected by a State. Shoot not at the fugitives! Take not aim at them! They are vulnerable now — like snails without shells, vulnerable as slow caravans of the Palestinian and Lebanese refugees, defenseless as the women, children and elderly of Qana, Gaza, Sabra and Shatilla. Give the Israeli refugees shelter; give them milk and honey!
Let not one Israeli child pay with his life. Far too many children and civilians have already been murdered.
We have got to get the word out. We have got to get Jews out of Europe.
While I agree with you, there are a number of regular European posters here who do not like having Europe’s resurgent anti-Semitism brought up here.
I don’t object to it at all, but I do object to your assertions that all europeans are anti-semetic, and your constant criticism of the people who are actually trying to solve that problem. And you can’t deny you’ve said these things either.
Well, this is it, I’m off for nearly 3 weeks to sunny paraguay, to eat beef generally not get in ZSG’s hair. Won’t that be fun?
There’s a notion at the back of my mind that I’ll be there over the 22nd, and a subtle worry that I might not have much of a country to come back to. I’m praying. I’m also glad my family will be out of harms way should anything happen… though, fortuantely, the chances are nothing will happen. Praying nevertheless.
Keep up the good work guys.
“British wiretaps uncover secret
V-2 factory in Pennemunde”…not only did they uncover it, they bombed it heavily, with the explicit intention of killing as many as possible of the (mostly civilian) scientists and engineers working there. IIRC, many of these individuals had their families living at Penemunde with them, and some of these women and children were also killed.
Imagine what today’s media would have done with *that* story.
I don’t object to it at all, but I do object to your assertions that all europeans are anti-semetic
Please point to a post where I have said that.
It’s implicit in nearly everything you say. The sneering about the “rise of anti-semetism” in europe without distinction of where that rise occurs and who is driving it is a good example.
I should be packing.
Are all Europeans anti-Semitic? No? Do I think a majority are?
Yes. And I think anti-semitism in THE driving force in EU foreign policy in the Middle East. Not oil. Not appeasement. Hatred of Jews.
60% in the EU’s own poll thought Israel was the greatest threat to world peace. For the crime of defending herself against Islamofascists bent on exterminating her.
It’s not just the elites, like it or not.
If the EU were anti-semetic (and it does appear so) then wouldn’t its polls be skewed to reflect that?
Most people reject EU polls as exactly what they are these days: propaganda. They’re meaningless.
Of course it’s not just the elites, but you are rather overstating when you claim it’s the majority.
Certainly, far too many Europeans are silent in relation to the blatant intolerance coming from the Muslim community — indeed, too many are apologists for it.
This looked plausible to me for a little while. I guess I am an anti-Semite.