Disadvantaged and Marginalized Swedish Youths Take Hostages in an Eskilstuna Prison

Two misguided “Swedish” youngsters have reacted to years of discrimination and racism by taking two guards hostage in a prison in the Swedish city of Eskiltuna.

The conclusion of the following account is a sardonic spoof; the original on which it is based is here (see also this Yahoo News report). The inspiration for the final paragraph is this line from the original: “Tabloid newspaper Aftonbladet reports that they have offered to release one of the hostages in exchange for having 20 kebab pizzas distributed to other inmates.”

Swedish officials say two inmates have taken a pair of prison guards hostage. The Swedish Prison and Probation Service said they were barricaded inside part of the penitentiary 75 miles west of Stockholm in what officials described as “a very dangerous situation.” The prison service said the inmates abducted the prison officers after breaking into a guards’ room soon on Wednesday and covering up the surveillance cameras. Swedish media say the prisoners have demanded a helicopter to help them escape.

Tabloid newspaper Aftonbladet reports that they have offered to release one of the hostages in exchange for an advance of 20 virgins in anticipation of the 72 they expect to receive upon martyrdom. The Swedish government is making a frenzied effort to find virgins. Officials say privately that they are unlikely to locate that many before tonight’s deadline.

My attempt at gallows humor is not meant to detract from the seriousness of the situation in Eskiltuna. This is an ongoing story, and there’s no telling what the final outcome will be, but it may not turn out well for those two unfortunate guards.

2 thoughts on “Disadvantaged and Marginalized Swedish Youths Take Hostages in an Eskilstuna Prison

  1. TINY KEBAB DRAMA IN ESKILSTUNA

    Two prison guards were taken hostage at Hällbyanstalten outside Eskilstuna. The two perpetrators of the murder demanded 20 kebab pizzas for the inmates in their ward. When these pizzas were delivered, one hostage was released at 7 p.m. At 9.30 pm, the second hostage had also been released, according to the police. Both perpetrators have been arrested.

    On Wednesday, two inmate murderers barricaded themselves in a guard room.
    The two prison guards, a man and a woman who work as temporary staff at the institution, were taken hostage.
    The killers were reportedly demanding a helicopter. They also promised to release a hostage if all 20 inmates in their ward received kebab pizza.
    At 16:40, Aftonbladet reported that the kebab pizzas were ready and delivered to the prison. After the pizzas were delivered, one of the hostages was later released as promised. Later, the second hostage was also released.
    “The two perpetrators have now been arrested and taken to the police station in Eskilstuna. Crime classification is kidnapping in two cases,” the police wrote in an update at 21:43.
    The enrichmen-perpetrators were armed with razor blades attached to toothbrushes, according to information to Aftonbladet. They are Isak Dewit, 30, and Haned Mahamed Abdullahi, 24, who have both been convicted of murder.

  2. When I was a little girl, Astrid Lindgren was widely published in the Soviet Union.
    The story about the Kid and Carlson was especially popular. Wonderful cartoons!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8XL0BZ5Ozs

    When I read crime reports from Sweden, I remember these lines. I don’t know how they sound in translation from Swedish to English, but in Google translation from Russian to English like this:

    – Mom, was I born here in Stockholm? – asked the Kid.
    “Of course,” Mom said.
    – But Bosse and Bethan were born in Malmö?
    – Yes, in Malmö.
    – But you, papa, were born in Gothenburg? You told me…
    “Yes, I’m a Gothenburg boy,” said Dad.
    – And you, mother, where were you born? “In Eskilstuna,” Mom said.
    The Kid hugged her warmly. – What a fortune that we all met! He said.

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