Don’t be a Superspreader This Thanksgiving!

I urge you to maintain proper social distancing at your Thanksgiving dinner.

Greet each other from a distance using hand signals or semaphore, with no personal contact.

Sit at least six feet apart from each other.

No passing food back and forth — the meal should be served in previously prepared portions sealed in individual plastic containers or pouches that have been sanitized before distribution.

Wear your masks between bites.

There should be no conversation during the meal. Instead, people may send text messages to each other via hand-held devices.

Singing, humming, whistling, and non-silent prayers should be completely avoided.

Enjoy yourself, and have a SAFE Thanksgiving!

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When I sent the future Baron these guidelines for a COVID-compliant Thanksgiving, he replied: “The sad thing is, this doesn’t sound like satire.”

I wrote back:

No, it’s not really. I just took the requirements from the diocesan “guidelines” for safe worship, and adapted them. And threw in a little sarcasm.

The latest innovation from the Episcopal Diocese of Southern Virginia is the fortuitous invention of the “singing mask”. Choral singing is allowed if the singers wear the singing mask. The congregation can’t sing, but a limited subset of the choir can (I forget how many, maybe ten or fewer). The singers must be spaced at least six feet from each other, and at least twenty feet from their audience.

And no, I’m not making this up.

10 thoughts on “Don’t be a Superspreader This Thanksgiving!

    • Funny,

      I miss it too. It committed suicide.
      The Republican Party at Prayer it used to be called.
      I went to St George’s School in Rhode Island 60 years ago when it was still
      a religious Episcopal School – church once a day and twice on Sunday’s. I miss the place. Only school I ever loved.

      • Many years ago, decades actually, perhaps in Psychology Today, I read of a study, which held that of all recognized religious beliefs, the Episcopal Church held the greatest number of successful business people. I had personally found that comforting, not sure why, but someone had to hold that title, it seemed. It seemed a good place, albeit not my particular place, just by chance.


    In spite of and to spite, the mental paranoia (even little 20, 30, and 40 somethings are worried mask wearers, even bandana wearers-sarc on!) pandemic which has swept the globe. Oh, the wuhan virus pandemic is long over, but not the “great reset” coup, evidenced by the global paranoia which is the lubricant to the coup.

    See what I did there?
    I still miss Dymphna’s thoughts, N.. Wishing you many great holidays, kindnesses, with little Baron!

  2. Darn – Our entire family failed at every item listed. But we had a great time together!

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

  3. Wishing you a belated Happy Thanksgiving, Baron!

    Speaking of superspreading… sometimes, maybe when I’ve read a bit too much news for one day, I can’t help but contemplate how peaceful and prosperous our world could be if the really vile bastards among us were neutralized with the greatest prejudice. Imagine how great our world could be if slimebags like Soros and Merkel (and hundreds more) could find no quarter anywhere in the world. Their time would be cut short, I’m sure, but all the rest of the human race would enjoy such happiness and peace. It would spark another renaissance to do away with the communists and other assorted parasites.

    Here’s hoping your corner of the world is relatively peaceful.

  4. This is yet one more example of the church capitulating to irrationality instead if opposing tyranny and using the gift of reason God gave us. At this point, with reports like the Johns Hopkins just put out (abd then trued to hude), there us zero excuse for this. Unless, that is, they actually profess a gospel dufferent from that of Christ.

    They have a lot to answer for, and answer they will.

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