It’s well-established that the front ends of cars look like faces. Cartoonists have been exploiting the resemblance for over a century. Many modern SUVs seem to have faces like the helmets of Empire storm troopers in the Star Wars movies, but that may just be my idiosyncratic apperception of them.
When I was driving home from the Outer Boonies yesterday, the faces of the oncoming vehicles made me think: Those cars should be masked. And that gave me the idea for a business venture.
Now is the time for a shrewd entrepreneur to market face masks for vehicles. The ad copy could go something like this:
You protect yourself. You protect your wife. You protect your kids. Why does the family car deserve any less?
You owe it to your vehicle to keep it SAFE.
The masks should be made of durable, waterproof, porous fabric. It would probably be advisable to use them only during cold weather, but that should see us well through the election and into the violent madness that is sure to follow it.
And when the cop stops you and tells you you’re interfering with the air flow to your engine, you can say (through your mask): “Duh! You think so?”
People could make a statement about COVID-19 with their vehicles, all without contravening the WHO or being banned from Facebook and Twitter.
The masks could be manufactured in different colors and patterns, and even feature the logo of the manufacturer in the middle. Ford masks, Cadillac masks, Lamborghini masks.
If you can’t stay socially distanced from the car in front of you, you can at least have enough consideration to mask your SUV.
I’m too lazy to try to realize this project myself, so I offer it here for an ambitious entrepreneur to take up. I don’t know how much of a capital outlay it would entail, but it surely can’t be all that much.
The time has come for vehicle masking!
We all have the same goal: to flatten the curve in the road ahead of us.