For the Feast of All Saints: “Jesus Loves Me…” Updated

As a kid I loved Hallowe’en. Not only was it exciting but since we went to a Catholic school, the next day, November 1st, was All Saints’ Day (followed on November 2nd, by All Souls’ Day, but that’s another story).

Fast forward many decades later, to Texas and the Austin Lounge Lizards with their ditty, “Jesus Loves Me But He Can’t Stand You”:

When one moves from a childhood Catholic ghetto to the wilds of Baptists, this song is a good cure for ailments of dogma.

[NOTE: Mark H said he couldn’t open the one I put up, so this is another version. Lyrics below the fold. Mark would love this Lounge Lizards’ take on Ronald Reagan since the Republic of Austin is a socialist enclave:
The Ballad of Ronald Reagan]

I know you smoke, I know you drink that brew,
I just can’t abide a sinner like you.
God can’t either, that’s why I know it’s true,
That Jesus loves me but he can’t stand you.

I’m going straight to heaven, boys, when I die,
’Cause I’ve crossed every T and I’ve dotted every I
Why, my preacher tells me I’m God’s kind of guy,
That’s why Jesus loves me, but you’re gonna fry.

God loves all his children, by gum,
That doesn’t mean he won’t incinerate some,
Can’t you feel those hot flames licking you?
I’m raising my kids in a righteous way,

So don’t be sending your kids to my house to play,
Yours will grow up stoned, left leaning and gay,
I know — Jesus told me on the phone today.
Jesus loves me, this I know.

And he told me where you’re gonna go,
There’s room for your kind down below.
Whoa, whoa, whoa

Jesus loves me, he loves me real good. I know he does. He called me up on the phone today and told me how much he loves me. He said, “Son, I love you.” He speaks English pretty well, considering it’s a second language for him. You can talk to him, too, you know. I’ve got a 900— number in Tulsa you can call him at, I do it all the time. He’ll be glad to hear from you. I talk to him everyday.

Jesus loves me, but he can’t stand you.

2 thoughts on “For the Feast of All Saints: “Jesus Loves Me…” Updated

  1. Thanks Dymphna, that worked.

    If I’m wrong in my (non-) beliefs and there is an afterlife, I’m not sure where I’d like to spend eternity. Many of the most interesting people would surely end up in Hell, and even my musical hero Beethoven, though he undoubtedly loved humanity, was not always good with actual people. But then he had an emotionally abusive childhood… how responsible are we for the way we deal with our demons?

Comments are closed.