Merry Christmas From the Family… Again

This is dedicated to the people in Austin. The right folks, not the Republic of Austin bluenoses. The latter wouldn’t be caught dead near this tune.

What happened was that on the way through You Tube to pick up Vera Lynn singing “Old Little Town of Bethlehem”, Robert Earl Keen and his kinfolk waylaid me with this song… again. Right: it’s not the first time I’ve put it on for my Christmas morning breakfast song. It probably won’t be the last one, either.

When you’re eating homemade biscuits with sausage gravy (I finally got the sausage recipe right) what else can you sing? Tomorrow we’ll return to righteous eating. Later this week, there will be Lessons and Carols at Morning Prayer. But just for the moment, pass the biscuits, please, and hit ‘repeat’ on that CD…

Yes, I really do know it’s tacky and trashy and as redneck as a Ford F-150 with a gun rack. But parts of it still make me cry.

These aren’t my people, but they’re part of my country and they deserve celebrating.

The lyrics are below the fold for those who don’t speak ’Mericun.

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at our Christmas party
We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn’t know what to think of him until he sang
Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins from his second wife Mary Nell
Of course he brought his new wife Kay
Who talks all about AA
Chain smoking while the stereo plays Noel, Noel
The First Noel

Carve the Turkey
Turn the ball game on
It’s margaritas when the eggnog’s gone
Send somebody to the Quickpak Store
We need some ice and an extension cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rites
A box of Pampers, Marlboro Lights
Halellujah everybody say “cheese”
Merry Christmas from the family

Fred and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can’t remember how I’m kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motor home in
They blew our Christmas lights.
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited out on our front lawn
He threw the breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night, Silent Night, Oh Holy Night

Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
It’s Bloody Marys
Cause We All Want One!
Send somebody to the Stop ’N Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprites
A box of Tampons, some Salem Lights
Halellujah, everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the Family

Feliz Navidad!

Some Robert Earl Keen fans think “Gringo Honeymoon” is the best of the bunch on this CD from 1994. I’ll stick with the one that makes me cry at Christmas. And thanks to my family for giving me the CD one Christmas.

Gringo Honeymoon by Keen, Robert Earl (1994) Audio CD

6 thoughts on “Merry Christmas From the Family… Again

  1. so this is how America spells Christmas. OK. I spell Christmas a bit differently. Christ-masse. And a merry one to you and yours.
    Add a bit of Polenta to the sausage gravy as it will give it a better taste and more texture and maybe just a shot of Tapatio if you don’t have Tabasco’s Red Cayenne around.

  2. Oh by the way, what’s traitor’s religion?
    Ah a good question? No lord’s prayer in schools, no Christian symbols or Ten Commandments, no teaching of Christianity, No Merry Christmas, But HAPPI HOLIDAY, No mention of Jesus. . .

    BUT: Traitors mention Eid, Ramadan, Fasting, Zakat, the five pillars, 36 pages of teaching material, and mentioning the name of the Pirate with comfort and ease, and referred to as The Prophet, never adding “of so and so”.

    Oh you don’t know?

    Yes, I know stupid: It is volitive dhimmitude.

  3. I hope ya’ll cook your gravy with some milk in it, and heat up the flour in the bacon or
    ham grease until it gets browned good before adding the milk.

  4. A very Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year to the Baron, Dymphna and all readers out there.

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