The following item is up for sale on the German-language section of eBay. Readers are strongly advised to bid early, before Vladimir Putin snaps it up!
Many thanks to Nash Montana for the translation:
For sale Angela Merkel’s Conscience – Absolutely pure, barely used!!!
Selling Frau Merkel’s Conscience
(Sharply on this day, October 7th, Birthday of the DDR)
I found it in Berlin near the government district at the edge of the Spree. I assume that Frau Merkel simply threw it overboard on one of her many boating tours, and it must have washed ashore here. Even from a distance, lying in the water on sandy ground, it looked perfectly pure. Of course, I thought, she barely even used it.
As I got closer, I noticed it looked like a sponge; it was porous and full of holes, which made sense of course, because it had to “absorb” the experiences of life. As I picked it up and held it in my hands, I felt it was greasy and smarmy and I suddenly understood how she was able to slither herself out of literally every logical argument.
I worried, maybe I should give it back to her. But considering the fact that she was the one who threw it away in the first place, and I’m sure not without good reason, I decided it would be a waste of my time to return this conscience to its owner.
I can sympathize with her, after all. It is only without a conscience that one can so enduringly withstand this state of ungoverned being. It is only a state like this that enables one to lie so stubbornly and put on such a phony grin in the face of the pack… err, I mean, the people, whenever one is asked a logical question.
I imagine if I myself, holding the highest office in the country without having the power to use it, also wouldn’t be able to survive WITH a conscience either! But who knows, maybe the USA has already invented something better to replace a conscience, something from Area 51 or whatever.
She won’t need her conscience, anyway, not until the long-term plan for the dumbing down of Europe has come to fruition. Until the median IQ has sunk to a 90, right after the motto, ‘too dumb to know what’s going on, but not dumb enough to work’. Merkel only has to figure out how to keep slaves in a state of thinking that they’re actually free.
Merkel’s common sense was at first lying right next to her conscience in the water. But because there wasn’t much left, it washed away in the Spree after I tried to grab it. I just hope the fish will be okay.
Now you probably ask yourself, what would one do with Merkel’s conscience?
Well, I thought that the worth of this piece would probably potentially grow for purely historical reasons. Some day in the future, history books will tell about the near-collapse of Germany, and then Europe, in chronological order, and how it got there. And exactly that is where the ‘when Frau Merkel threw her conscience overboard’ day will be marked as the beginning of the end.
Looking at this from today’s point of view, these happenings have of course no power over much more important issues such as the case of the fallen sack of rice in China [a comedy spoof on the ridiculousness of news in times of real importance — translator], the ‘Germany Seeks the Superstar’ show or ‘Big Brother’, but I am confident that once a real educational system is established in the future, people will understand its value and perhaps warn future generations.
I also think this piece would be interesting for museums for future exhibitions, or as a science project for biologist (perhaps they could make it whole again), for mathematicians who want to prove that the Zero and Nothing are not the same, or for that matter, as feed for dopy chickens. I’m sure you can think of something.
Shipping is free. I will not include a warranty, though. I sell it as is, faulty, which is something we all could clearly see last week, after all. Happy bidding!
PS: Frau Merkel’s loss of her conscience is unfortunately a problem for all citizens, and the recognition of the perfidious plans behind her actions requires some degree of education. But since our educational system leaves something to be desired, I would donate 50% of the proceeds to my daughter’s school. The other 50% I unfortunately will have to keep, because my account balance correlates with Frau Merkel’s conscience. I hope you can understand. Thank you for reading.
Next up: Barack Hussein Obama’s birth certificate. The actual real one this time, honest to God, I swear, cross my heart and hope to die.