A Little Insider Baseball (U.S.-type) News

Unless you’re familiar with American politics, the whole of this may not be comprehensible. Who outside the U.S., for example, is aware of that excrescence, Geraldo Rivera? I hope not many have had to endure him. For an example of “you-can’t-make-this-stuff-up” here’s Geraldo’s defense of Planned Parenthood’s harvesting and marketing of fetal/baby parts. No, it’s not satire.

The People’s Cube, on the other hand, does wonderful satire. They are pluperfectly superb in this genre, as well they ought to be: Comrade site-owner is a real, genu-wine escapee from that unwilling Russian slave state, Ukraine.

Did I say this was satire? Oh, good. Because it is, you know. Satire, I mean. Kilroy’s essay, “Democrats Unleash Perfect Presidential Candidate”, is only understandable if you know who Geraldo is:

In the wake of embarrassing missteps by Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Martin O’Malley on the campaign trail, the Democratic National Committee today announced that it has successfully recruited the perfect candidate, one that can both mobilize the entire Democratic Party base and destroy any Republican that dares challenge.

The newcomer to the race, 42-year-old Geralda Hernandez-Brown, was discovered in Atlanta by DNC operatives. Born to undocumented immigrant Maria Hernandez, and Theo “Pookie” Brown, whose ancestors once slaved in the cotton and tobacco fields of Georgia and the Carolinas, Gerald Hernandez-Brown underwent a sex change operation in 2005, and now considers xyrself gender-fluid.

“Xhe’s ideal in every way,” said DNC spokesman Christina Freundlich. “I mean, even the children from before the operation… one killed by a cop, one dead from a botched back alley abortion, climate change-induced heat stroke…the list just keeps going. Can you believe that we stumbled upon xer beneath the I-285 overpass?”

Asked whether Geralda’s religious beliefs could provide any insight to the American people regarding xer convictions and character, Freundlich exclaimed “of course xhe doesn’t believe in any god, that would be ridiculous, but xhe gets along very well with people of any faith that gives free stuff to the poor.” Added Freundlich, “which is pretty much all of them.”

When interviewed, Democratic voters largely welcomed the addition of Hernandez-Brown to the field.

Will Green of Toledo, OH, said “Hillary is a tool of the corporatists, and Sanders and O’Malley are old white males. Finally, somebody that understands the struggle and the importance of social programs. Somebody truly worth my vote!”

Qeesha D’Antelo of Fresno, CA responded “I had such high hopes for Obama, but now I realize that he’s half-white. And while he definitely doesn’t go out of his way to act like a man, he has never publicly denounced his whitemale privilege. Geralda is exactly the kind of hero I can believe in!”

Cautioned “Wolf” in Brooklyn, “sounds good, but where does xhe stand on fair trade coffee?”


See the rest of the post, and other brilliant exposés here.

Yes, and that racist image is his, too. Oh, wait. Did I tell you this is satire??


*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

I’ll bet when he left Ukraine, Oleg didn’t ever dream he’d wake up every morning thinking, “Hmmm…whom shall I skewer today?” For sure it is his vocation.

Oleg told me once that while his other refugee friends went to ohh and awww at the amazing displays of food in American grocery stores, his shrine was elsewhere.

Instead he went to the art supplies places to gaze at the awe-inspiring racks, endless rows, of paint tubes in every hue imaginable. Not being a member of The Party, his oils in Ukraine were limited to the dark and the ugly.

I may have told y’all these anecdotes before, but that is the privilege of umm…maturity: one is permitted to repeat oneself ad infinitum, impatient relatives notwithstanding. Besides, these experiences moved me.

Oleg’s story reminded me of attending a van Gogh exhibition in Washington with the Baron many years ago. We waited in line for hours to view even some works he’d never managed to see even while in Europe. When we finally got to the head of the queue he oohed and awwed and peered closely at the thick slatherings of oils on Vincent’s canvasses. He told me it was van Gogh’s brother, Theo, who kept VvG supplied in materials.

The Baron’s own lack of a rich brother was a blessing in disguise since it was partly the expense of oil paints that led to the Baron’s evolution in style to a very thin wash of paint — it seemed sometimes as though he whispered the colors onto the canvas. His last works were a kind of Japanese style — i.e., each stroke was so translucent it didn’t allow for any mistakes. Of course we, his audience, couldn’t see the mistakes I’m sure he saw and never mentioned. Smart man.

Regular trips to The People’s Cube are worth your time. Soon, satire will be a foreign language, a genre assigned to the oubliette… or the guillotine?

6 thoughts on “A Little Insider Baseball (U.S.-type) News

  1. Hmmm . . . Are you sure this is satire? I think I saw this xerson on The View last week.

    • The People’s Cube only does satire. They may use real images, but Oleg is careful to avoid copyright problems.

      • I was attempting satire. The pig-mentally-preferred xerson of whom I was referring is a regular on the show. Obviously, my efforts failed.

        • Oh dear, P. My apologies.I don’t have a TV and don’t know the show. Sometimes at motels I see “Law and Order”…

          Make that “used to see” – I don’t travel anymore. And no, it’s not that bad.

          • You have missed nothing. The show is simply a platform for left-wing dreck.

            I usually leave my TV on some “news” channel but the sound off because then I can see Caller I.D. from across the room and don’t need to bother to respond to 99.99% of the incoming calls.

            That provides much more time to do something productive, such as commenting on blogs. HAH!

  2. Perhaps related to this story is the response I wrote on a survey from EMILY’s List night before last. (Yes, they still send me mailings, but since they’re postage pre-paid, I thought I’d have some fun on their dime. 😉 )

    As I remember their statement/brag, it was, “98% of the women serving in the U.S. Congress were helped by EMILY’s list. 100% of the African-American, Latina, and Asian-American women were!” My note, in editorial red pen and between their paragraphs as well as in the margin, was, “Nothing like group-identity politics. EMILY’s list favors *only* women, no men? How unworthy.”

    As well as calling the identity politics to their attention and letting them know that at least *one* recipient doesn’t appreciate it, I kept challenging their support of female candidates only. One of my statements was, “I thought the whole point of feminism was for men and women to have equal rights under the law.” I said this about two or three times, in different ways.

    Oh, yeah: I made a snarky comment about the “African-American, Latina, and Asian-American women” they had elected. I said, “Nothing like a two-fer.” I figured that, if they didn’t understand my other notes, they’d definitely get this one (bwah ha ha).

    I wasn’t being satirical, but the mailer was quite close to a satire of itself!

Comments are closed.