Family Law and the Genocide Against Fathers

Mårten Gantelius continues with the topic of his most recent post, the systematic (and systemic) discrimination against fathers under Swedish family law.

Family Law and the Genocide Against Fathers
by Mårten Gantelius

Same job — same salary. Same crime — same punishment. Does this make me a femaleophobe and an Islamophobe? Young men have just as much reason to fear women as we all have to fear Islam.

Millions of fathers have died in the gutter, crying in grief over their lost children. I could easily have been one of them. The mothers and the entire society couldn’t care less. And the mentally injured and alienated children don’t even go to their funerals.

During fifteen intense years, my profession was producing and performing puppet theatre for children in an extremely women-dominated world. I could write a 3000-page book about brutal female violence against children — especially small children. In this period, I had many tough conflicts with women. At the performances, I was in charge, and I wouldn’t let anyone of them destroy the performances and the children’s experiences.

From my own story in Scania in the southern part of Sweden:

In June 1992, I had planned to spend two weeks at my beloved summer cottage in Kuggeboda in the archipelago of Blekinge together with my three children. My 15-month-old daughter had had some minor problems with her ears — nothing serious at all.

A few days before departure, my daughter’s mother called me from Copenhagen. She told me that two small tubes had been surgically inserted into each of my daughter’s ears, and that she couldn’t join us in Kuggeboda. “No way,”, I said, “I’ll pick her up, according to the court decision.”

All kidnapping mothers follow exactly the same compulsory — and thus predictable! — pattern of actions. And the children suffer. For example, you always need to be accompanied by a strong, articulate witness in every personal contact with them. My Danish friend Lasse from Copenhagen accompanied me.

To my surprise, the mother handed over our daughter to me. Before leaving Kävlinge, I took my daughter to the local medical center. I wanted a doctor to look at her ears and tell me if there were any restrictions in for example bathing. My oldest son stayed in the theatre bus reading magazines. His interest in his little sister was limited. My three-year-younger son joined us. He had grieved in the depth of his heart when his little sister had been taken away from him.

The female doctor examined the ears, and then she burst out at me: “How could you initiate such an idiotic surgery? And just before a summer with sun and bathing? Your daughter will probably have plenty of problems for many years — maybe for the rest of her lifetime.”

When I asked her “Can I have that in writing?”, the silence was thick. The doctor had realized that the mother was responsible, and not me. Of course I didn’t get anything in writing. It would have cost the doctor — with a slight foreign accent — her job, and she would have been blacklisted throughout the entire country. Breaking the Code of Women’s Solidarity is not for free. That’s one of the reasons why you never saw any women in court witnessing to the disadvantage of a kidnapping mother.

And the doctor was right. During my daughter’s entire childhood, her ears were repeatedly inflamed and caused her great pains. Fortunately, her problems ended when she went to college.

As soon as I had found a place to stay in Copenhagen in the late 1992, I wrote to Köbenhavns Overpräsidium, which is the authority that decides father’s access rights to their children. Not only had the mother caused my daughter physical injuries, now she was on her way to causing her Parental Alienation Syndrome that ruins people’s lives mentally. After tough negotiations, I was given the right to have my daughter one Saturday from 10am to 6pm and the same two weeks later “as a test”. If it “worked out well”, I could have her every second Saturday 10 am to Sunday 6 pm. The psychologist knew that I had taken the daily care of my children for more than ten years, and that my daughter was born in Sweden and had been kidnapped to Denmark by her mother. The vital point is that she knew that I knew that she knew. This is the conscious, ultimate humiliation/violation as one of the tools of the True Merchandise, which is breaking down fathers mentally. Without this understanding, you don’t have a shadow of a chance to survive.

I saved my daughter from Parental Alienation Syndrome, but it is inevitable that her hard drive had been filled with bytes, describing the low value of a loving father — not only by her mother, but by the entire society.

Imagine a social secretary whose sort doesn’t exist. To my daughter’s mother: “You and Marten have common custody of the child. No one can prevent you from moving back to Copenhagen, but you mustn’t bring the child along and take her away from her brothers and her father. Even if the child is only six months old, Marten has had the daily care of her and not you. If you choose to bring her along, I will personally see to that you get two years in prison according to the law.

“You are in shock after your mother’s suicide in June. You need help.”

This short, clear and professional behavior would have saved a lot of human suffering and costs to society. But the biggest loss was the destruction of the complete Puppet Theatre with its hundreds of puppets, costumes, music instruments, toys, books and properties. I mean that 10 million USD is a low estimate.

But the True Merchandise of the Family Law Industry is to maximize its turnover. Thus, the mother was advised to kidnap our daughter to Denmark and hide in an unknown place. Immediately afterwards, I understood why the place should be unknown. It was to prevent me from going to Denmark and kidnap our daughter back. I have never had kidnapping on my repertoire.

I quote myself from the video at, “Institutional violence against children in Sweden during recent decades”: “You could claim that what these mothers and social workers do is worse than rape. A grown-up woman at least has the possibility of taking precautions and of resistance. The children are totally defenseless.”

If I were young today, I would have rented a box at a semen bank and then got myself sterilized. That’s the only safe way to protect oneself in a society that supports severe female criminality against children and fathers. It’s a simple surgery, and if you change your mind, you can always get a reverse-surgery with 50 % chance of regaining fertility.

Not long ago, a wonderful essay by JLH was posted at GoV — “Silence Means Assent”. Isn’t it time to break the silence?

Statistics on the genocide against fathers

Since all official figures were dezinformatsiya, I had to do my own investigation. In 1991 in the District Court of Lund, there were 900 custody cases. Zero (0) fathers won. I could count the number of children involved and relate it to the number of inhabitants in the municipalities that went under the court.

A friend of mine, working at the county administration in Malmö, gave me the secret number of children removed by force in the county.

Since the situation was the same in the entire country, I could extrapolate.

There is a dark figure where fathers have given up without fighting. (By the way, I told my clients that you won’t win, and your children will be injured. You should fight for the sake of your own self respect.)

An anecdote related to the dark figures:

One of my friends was a high, well-paid IT official at one of the big dragons in The Netherlands, and he loved his four children. One day when he got home from work, he was met by a note on the kitchen table: “I have moved with the children.” No warning signals in advance, at least none he had noticed. He broke down totally, lost his job and lost everything.

Of all places, he chose Stockholm to start afresh. And he didn’t have a clue where his children were.

This is how I got my estimate of 30,000 children a year in Sweden, which I mean as a low estimate.

Since I have reason to believe that the situation is the same in all Europe, I could extrapolate and arrive at the figure of 2.5 million children a year. In fact, it is of minor importance if the correct figure is two or four million children a year. There is no doubt, it is a huge, hidden and ongoing genocide.

Previous posts by Mårten Gantelius:

2013   Nov   16   “American Betrayal”: A Swedish Perspective
2014   Feb   4   The Swedish Model
    Mar   3   The True Merchandise
        23   Feminism and Islam

76 thoughts on “Family Law and the Genocide Against Fathers

  1. Being a dad is tough.

    I remember as a kid thinking about the authority figures I noticed in the media.

    Many were, or appeared childless. Richer people tended to be childless too.

    The entire system is back to front really.

  2. I have happend upon comments in the English version of “The Local” over the years written by women who openly admit they plan to simply use men to have children but are not going to stay married. I was taken aback by the ignorance and callous disregard for those children not yet born.

    When either sex – male or female- is given the “upper hand” the victims are always the children. And this is NOT confined to one generation, but is an intergenerational pattern of harm to children which becomes a template for future generations.

    Right now the men are suffering along with the children. And I use the word “suffering” advisedly. But in previous generations women were held hostage by men who threatened the children if the woman tried to leave bec of abuse. I know: I was one once. And my mother was at the mercy of the laws, too.

    Injustice is the most serious of personal betrayals and the most common…somehow we need to educate children that where there is conflict, there are always at least two sides, but maybe more. If we began with general social conflict education, it could slowly filter down to the personal level… but with leftists in charge, there is ONLY the correct side and the wrong side. They think in black and white.

    Here in this country, grandparents have *some* rights for visitation, etc. But it’s very individual, case-by-case.

    We tell our son that if he’s choosing, make sure the girl’s parents are still together and that they respect one another. That’s not a perfect test, but it’s a beginning safeguard. If both people in a couple get along with their family of origin, including, say, crazy Aunt Tillie (all families have their weak links) then the prospects are good for the couple.

  3. Tell a lie enough and people will believe it.

    Feminist cries of victimhood are the lies.

    My favorite is women complaining about the male dominated health care system not meeting women’s needs. Women live longer than men. What’s the beef?

    Domestic violence laws allow any woman to have any man thrown into jail with a simple lie.

    Any man can become an unwilling sperm and wallet downer to a malicious woman who wants a child and your money.

    Feminist studies have become nothing more than hate indoctrination centers.

    • This is an angry mish-mash of opinion. Domestic violence laws allow no such thing.

      To get a restraining order, much less having “a man thrown into jail with a simple lie” a woman must go to a magistrate and present her case. It is the magistrate’s decision to proceed or not.

      The police have been given more discriminatory powers now than they had before. In cases where they are repeatedly called to a home, they will often take the offender (usually drunk – sometimes both drunk) away from the scene and tell him/her to find a place to stay.

      So do you plan to tell this series of generalizations and falsehoods “enough” hoping people will believe it?

      I worked with battered women for eight years. They weren’t angels, but their biggest mistake was wanting to “try to make a go of it for the sake of the children”. Women in violent situations learned that THE most dangerous time for them was after they left.

      A man irresponsible enough to become a sperm donor needs some guidance in maturing.

      Your comment is simply a reversal of the man-hating lies I’ve read by women. It’s like you folks have a template and simply change the sexes around.

    • Bob Smith. In early 1991, I started an organsition, Mullvadarna (=The Moles), whose aim was protecting children against all forms of psysical and psychological violence.
      Later in 1991, 16 Swedish mothers had created “Bortrövade barns förening” (Kidnaped Children’s Association. The mothers had that in common that they had got children with Muslim men. And that they kidnap children can hardly come as a surprise to any reader of GoV. Of course it was a tragedy – these mothers would never see their children again.
      The mothers had called to a big hearing, and all the medias were on their toes. We – The Moles – sent a small delegation to Stockholm to humbly inform that more than 60000 Swedish mothers had committed exactly the same crime. As expected, nobody was interested in that information. Instead we were accused of supporting the kidnaping Muslims. Do we recognize the MSM?

    • Women live longer than men?
      That can change over different social and historical contexts. You would not have favored womanhood if you lived in 17th century New England. Typically, a husband outlived several wives there.
      In Virginia, however, at the very same time, if you were a woman, your chances of surviving several men were quite good.
      Do not interpret demographics as being carved in stone.
      Things change.

      • “Women live longer than men?”

        Yes, and they have for about a century in the US and other industrialized nations.

        “That can change over different social and historical contexts.”

        Get back to us when it changes. Until then, females who bellyache and demand that more healthcare resources be directed to females are simply being greedy and gyno-centric.

  4. Any chance of an article on the Clegg v Farage argument on Ukraine?

    Farage finally showed a bit of gumption IMHO.

    • This is OT unless Clegg v Farage is part of the gender wars as they relate to children.

      A reminder: Any comments not On Topic can be placed in the News Feed, which is one reason we left that section open – so it could take in comments on topics we haven’t covered.

      Would you be willing to write an essay on this topic? The Baron only edits for typos and very lighty for clarity, so feel free to present a case. As always, it has to adhere to the rules for comments – i.e., courteous, etc. We much prefer to have people who have a stake in an issue to write about it.

  5. Wholehearted agreement with your comments, Dymphna, and empathy with Marten. I’m in a similar, if less severe position, no longer able to see my godson, now thirteen.

    I’ve previously quoted David Thomas’ 1993 book, “Not Guilty: in Defence of the Modern Man”, but make no apology for doing so again. On pps 140-4 he quotes data from the American Association for Protecting Children, on child abuse and neglect between 1976-87 (the “family values” Reagan administration cut their funding at that point). I’ll try to be objective in selecting statistics from 1996, which cover many forms of maltreatment:

    “The average age of a child involved in an abusive or neglectful situation is 7.23 years old.
    “The victim is female in 53.5% of the cases.
    “The perpetrator of the abuse is a parent in 81% of the cases.
    “The average age of the perpetrator is 31.7 years and IS MALE IN 46.7 % OF THE CASES”- my capitals. The other 53.3% are not Martians.

    The 1986 figures on the worst form of abuse, infanticide, cover only 20 states, about 50% of the US child population:

    “The average age of the victims was 2.8 years.
    “The victim was male in 53.7% of cases…
    “The perpetrator…WAS FEMALE IN 55.7% OF THE CASES”. My capitals again; I’m not clever enough with computers to italicise.

    • “The perpetrator of the abuse is a parent in 81% of the cases.”

      Notice how the definition of “parent” is gamed by those statistics takers. The ‘boyfriend’ mommy chose to shack up with is called a parent by these misleading statisticians. It’s all part of the Blame The Father narrative.

  6. These articles are getting increasingly hard to swallow. I omitted to comment from a couple of the articles, but the REALITY is that children getting physically abused and sexually molested for YEARS by their fathers and other male relatives happens with INFINITELY greater incidence than the problems than Mårten Gantelius alleges.

    Mårten, you procreated with the wrong woman. You need to examine your choices.

    • Egghead. You force me to reply. You are moving focus from a 100-million-children-genocide-in-Europe-the-last-40-years to my dubious personality.

      In Kuggeboda in the archipelago of Blekinge, I had my beloved summer cottage. I was a member of the local fishing club with a wonderful clubhouse next to the sea. As a member, I could rent the clubhouse to a reasonable price. So I had done for 3 days just after midsummer 1990 to my daughters Danish grandparents. The grandmother was wheelchair bound, but that was no problem. Several club members were there to help them all the time.
      The deal was that they would take the ferry and meet me at my house in Kävlinge. From there, I would drive them the 180 km to Kuggeboda.
      The couple enjoyd 3 super divine days in the clubhouse, whereafter I drove them back to Kävlinge and then returned to Kuggeboda.
      Three days later, we got the message that the grandmother had committed suicide. She had asked her 20 year old granddaughter to stretchen out the telephone wire for her. Then she had given her and her husbond a shopping list to effectuate.
      When they got back, she had strangulated herself with the telephone wire.
      This suicide blew out the brains of my daughter’s mother, and the poor thing was an easy target to The Family Law Industry.

      The mother of my two sons and I had chosen to live separately in the meaning that her apartment on the ground floor was in short and safe walking distance for the boys. The purpose was to force her to take responsibility and to behave. She had a nice job, so the economy was no problem. I had told her that I didn’t want to have any more children, at least not at the present time.
      One late evening when the boys were asleep, she entered my door. Her intention was obvious, and we made love. Afterwards we shared a bottle of good wine.
      Six weeks later, I got a twittering letter where she told me she was pregnant.
      Not only women have knowledge about the female cycles. I wrote her back that I take responsibility for the children I bring to this earth, but I would never again share bed with a person that allows herself to play with me and human lives in that way.
      She chose to make an abortion. This was the background that transformed her into a cold-blooded, calculating murderess.

    • Eggy, Marten used numbers to support his thesis. If you don’t like what he is implying, contest his numbers.

      His example is a rarity in a world of endless women’s “issues,” so why not let one man-bitch through on occasion?

      Why not make the same criticism to Dymphna? Of course you won’t, she’s a she. You just showed the difference in the rules for men and women, which is EXACTLY the problem Marten raises. Double standards.

      I often now see that the feminist brainwashing has settled into and become a part of the behavior of women, women would would normally be traditional. The media is blanketing us in it.

      • You New: I know you to be wise so this comment makes me sad. The rules may look different in individual cases but the META rules don’t change within triangular relationships. The people may trade places but the same game with the same rules continue.

        You’re right about the feminist brain-washing among the chattering classes but the majority of my female friends did not drink the koolaid and have never believed ANYTHING the media says. Do you remember the supposed “statistics” that proved there was more domestic violence toward women during the football playoffs…umm, oh yeah, Super Bowl time? It was made up out of whole cloth by some national group whose mission was to ‘cure’ domestic violence. Those Stalinists are everywhere.

        There is no way to “make everything fair” and if the pursuit of justice could drop that utopian clause we’d all be better off. The small, very small contribution Gates of Vienna can make is to keep language courteous and moderate here. It’s a tiny improvement but satisfying nonetheless. It doesn’t begin to make up for the seas of injustice all around us, but still…one begins where one is.

        • I stand guilty of so many boneheaded choices in my life that I don’t dare judge people. I just don’t go there. I don’t hate Jim Jones or Stalin or Judas or my loud neighbor. I don’t hold accounts.

          I just try to do what people who are smarter than me say to do.

          You are noble to admit your faults and I think nothing but highly of that. Since you already mentioned your past, I thought it would be useful to show how women, in this case Eggy, are fast to criticize a man. It seems important to notice that incongruity. Please don’t be offended, that is all I meant. I felt no hubris and and meant nothing personal – I am guilty of worse.

          That is very important to know that you have good women friends who are unaffected by the Coven. I fortunately know a few, but they are unique in that they are working on themselves in meditation and scriptural studies which makes them immune. I find that most women though, even conservatives I meet including my last relationship succumb to the pop forces, younger the worse, and become infected by forms of great Dullness including Fems. Their infection is not as full blown, though, but it’s still bad.

          There is much more on this topic that is worth discussing.
          There is a lot of foolish feminist hate in women, and since it is an obscuration and can be exorcized, let’s go for it. The circle of this discussion in not complete by any means.

          I tend to not come down hard on men because that is already the default social position. Woman know that men don’t understand them, but they don’t seen to notice they don’t understand men. Kind of too bad, actually. What we all find out might be pleasant and unifying. Let us talk without the eggshell walk.

          If it behooves you, let the redneck dudes stick their heads up over the parapets from time to time. We might have something good to say on occasion. Even about the fairer sex.

          • Odd, I think men and women generally understand each other well. I guess I’ve been lucky enough to have far more positive experiences than you.

        • man-bitch

          Don’t worry, I’m not going to start in with the Ebonics.
          I used this as a verb, and to show that men complain too.
          1. express displeasure; grumble.
          synonyms complain, whine, grumble, grouse; More

          A female friend from the Virgin Islands was upset recently because her sister from San Diego had been calling her “dude”. I laughed and explained that as a sign of affection and good humor. Think about how funny it is to hear women do that.

          • Too right! I used to have to go on fairly long drives with colleagues, some male. For some reason they seemed to think I was a willing listener to their endless relationship complaints. One, after divorce, still saw his kids often. But he went on and on, saying he’d been used as a ‘sperm-donor’ by his ex because of his tall size, blond hair and blue eyes. Really!! The guy was delusional: in every other regard he was completely unattractive: pasty, fat, unintelligent and obsessively whinging about his ex. I couldn’t take it after a while and had to ask him to keep the talk professional. He wasn’t the only man in the company who tried to use me as a kind of counsellor when we were stuck in a car together. It was very unpleasant. Good that they were able to ‘open up’ I guess, but they should have got professional help.

            Here’s the most interesting thing: the more these male colleagues whinged about their exes, the more unattractive and pathetic they seemed.

          • @guest
            To comment on your final sentence.
            That is because women generally despise weakness in a male.

          • Maybe so, but I don’t appreciate women who endlessly go on about exes either. People need to be strong enough to have a cry, learn from and then positively looking towards a better future.

  7. If a group can manipulate things for ever increasing power, why not?: This is the credo of all special-interest, self-obcessed groups, and here I think of how feminists have made tremendous headway in sapping the wisdom from the minds of women.

    The Grand Canyon separates men and women’s perceptions, as evidenced by Marten’s tragic, but now typical, situation.

    Millions of women-clan clearly condone and support this tragic abuse of self ordained girl-power and subsequent social destruction. Men don’t – they don’t do what the Coven did to Marten. We do not ever condone either overtly or tacitly when other men steal kids from mom. We want those guys strung up at the town square.

    Let’s just call a spade a spade. We are not equal here on this point, women are clearly much more dangerous. And how can we maintain a positive view of womenhood when women can be so self-absorbed, en-masse? When women fall so quickly into the pattern? How do we counter the Coven?

    This is a mass problem so it requires a discussion of the generalities. Marten wants us to not only see that his children were treated in this way, but the irony and ugliness of it being fully integrated as the way of government and life throughout Europe, posing as a social good.

    • Thank you, You New. I don’t wish to focus on my own story but on the methods used.
      If it takes my background and 23 years of fighting to survive – how many do you think have failed?

    • But from whence did this Grand Canyon of inequality arise? Throughout history men did indeed decide where children were placed and for how long.

      Now you are saying men act singly with no help from their families. But it wasn’t always so. Women could be raped and the perp would just have his friends stand up and say they had their turn. Which is why rape often went unprosecuted in the old days.

      Yeah, there are a lot of angry, immature women out there. But it looks like they’ve just changed places.

      In domestic abuse cases, we developed a template of abuse. I wish I could diagram it but words will have to suffice:

      It takes three people for this game and all three will change places. There is an Abuser, a Victim, and a Rescuer. If you get caught in it unawares, you learn your lesson and leave the playing field.

      Here’s an example:

      A man (Abuser) is beating on a woman (Victim).The woman is screaming for help. A stranger sees this and is appalled. He goes to help (the Rescuer) the woman. The two having the fight then turn on the helper and start hitting him. Thus does the Rescuer become the Victim and the former Victim becomes an Abuser.

      THere are more dramatic versions involving police officers, court system, lawyers, neighbors, etc. Any number can play and often do when they become angry at being mistreated.

      Wanna dance??

        • I am moving the focus to the middle, Marten. Where is belongs, on ALL children. We can bash women or we can bash men. I prefer to look at the patterns on both sides. And that is what I will continue to do.

          Yes, men are being treated horribly unjustly by their children’s mothers and those fathers are treated cynically by the courts. But it does not bode well for ANY of us that this is happening. It’s not done in isolation and those children, as emotionally confused as they will become, potentially endanger us all, even the childless by-standers.

          Those boys in the US who take their parents’ guns and shoot up the mall? They are genuinely brain-disordered and in addition, many of them have disturbed attachments to their fathers. IOW, it’s a family problem, not a man or woman problem. For the sake of analysis we can focus on one side or the other, but the reality is far more holistic and complex.

          I think “genocide” is a mistaken term. “Parricide” is closer, but we don’t really have a term for the slow death by torture of parents deprived of their children BY THE OTHER PARENT or by the state. At least we don’t have one in English for this miscarriage, maybe there is one in Swedish?

          I feel great sympathy for fathers who are treated as you describe, and I have done crisis counseling with a few who feel great shame re this situation. Thus I am familiar with how it plays out in this country at the moment.

          But just as I would never join in the “ain’t men awful” bashing that went on in the shelter where I worked, I won’t join in the opposite bash on these abusive women, either.

          I’ve worked with:

          (1)women who were killed by having toilet seats hammered into their skulls, and women who were killed right in front of armed police officers;
          (2) I’ve worked with women who were tortured before they escaped.
          (3) I’ve worked with men who were afraid of their wives (though much less frequently since it’s harder for them to ask for help for a myriad of reasons).
          (4) Probably the saddest are people married to prominent or wealthy partners w/ smooth psychopathic disorders. They have no hope except to run away…
          (5) I have worked with women who have killed their husbands in abject fear of dying themselves.

          I have also run “anger management” groups for men who were barely holding in their rage, men who chose to work in the group with me and other abusive men rather than go to jail. When I’d ask each fellow what he thought the cause of the trouble was – i.e., why he was there in the group, there were several common answers: (1)”because she won’t keep her &^*^%$ mouth shut. If she’d just shut up and do what I told her there wouldn’t be any trouble, etc.”; (2) “I hit her because I can. Now I’ll sit here and be a good boy and attend all my classes. But this will be over in a couple of months”; or, (3)- seldom, but it happened – a chair flung across the room…which meant the fellow went back to court to serve his time.

          I never felt at risk because I knew I wasn’t ever considered part of the problem. I was just part of the “stupid” system.

          Marten you have chosen to focus on men as victims. I choose to look at both the victims and the perpetrators on both sides of this fence because I know both sides well.

          As Lord Acton said, “power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely”. Once upon a time, men held that stick and they held it absolutely, complete with scriptural dogmatic authority and state back-up. Now women have the weapon, complete with their feminist dogma and the corresponding state back-up. It is beyond sad that the stick remains in play and that the children are still the victims, the “hostages to fortune”.

          I dearly wish I had chosen more wisely with my first children, but I didn’t and the children paid for my mistake. As one of them told me, I can never make it up to him for choosing wrongly and nothing I can ever do will make it up. I accept his verdict – from a young child’s point of view, he was right. But as an adult, I can only hope he’s moved along from that position since holding such hatred makes his own chances for happiness dim indeed.

          • And my own focus, ultimately, is the *whole* family – the unique gestalt – rather than the children alone…children cannot exist solo – they are born into a situation and there they grow and mature in a given context. That’s why their attachments are so crucial to their well-being.

            My final professional work with families was training community facilitators to work with groups of families who’d been identified as “at risk” for violence – whether from either parent or from the child(ren). Dr.Stephen Bavolek devised this labor-intensive but very satisfying community program – or rather reprogramming – for helping families grow in their knowledge of one another and to eventually feel safe within the group. Dr B. named it the “Parent Nurturing Program” but it has morphed into The Nurturing Parent Program. And it continues to grow:


            As he said once, the more information individuals in a family have about one another and about the group, the less fear each has to contain. Thus healing begins by sharing information up and down the line. Many times, the goal is to turn down the drama and replace it with sharing knowledge about one another.

      • I agree with all you just said Dymphna. You misinterpreted my point about the differences in the PERCEPTIONS (not the “equality”) of men and women. I’m not a woman and so I don’t really care about abstract social equality ideas. I care about things working.

        Communism/Socialism, twentieth century, was born of trying to fix the problems of life, to create a more perfect world and culture. We agree, this “fix” does MORE HARM THAN THE ORIGINAL PROBLEM. Emphasis on that phrase.

        Same with all ungrounded in reality socialist movements, including most welfare, Feminism, Black, Hispanic, Muslim every one a LEFTIST voters and socialist…the invariable socialist solution has been established and we are all worse for the wear. Who is the one traditional people left? The hated white male. We are last of the Mohicans. And we don’t “group” we just are, unlike all you groupies.

        Women are thus prone to Socialism, as are every non-white male group. The West is Socialist toast as long as the white male is largely undermined. The Socialist result will be the same again and again.

        • You Knew:

          I’m a “groupie”? Which group?

          Socialism was created by men – though it’s immaterial that Karl Marx wasn’t Katrina Marx or that all those philosophes didn’t wear skirts. Yeah, women ate up that stuff because it promised “fairness” and the ones that don’t think things through are suckers for ‘fairness’. Can’t you hear the shrieking echoes from the schoolyard at recess?

          Those deluded fems are building a male-patterned system in which power is the main prize. It’s a zero-sum game. Men’s games are by natures zero-sum, with winners and losers.

          Instead of brawls based on who gets to keep the most stuff – whether the stuff is children or money or access – how about we create another paradigm entirely??

          In a very few years, when the global demographic implosion begins to peek out from behind the curtain, all of this won’t matter much. Who’s fecund and who’s sterile will be irrelevant entire. And then the “hardwired” gifts men have to share will again have market value bec it will be about survival…

          • Your group is women. All groups are groupies except white straight men.

            Women are trying to build WHAT THEY CONCEIVE TO BE a man-style system. It is not what men build though, it is only women’s imagination of men.

            Zero sum games are mere narcissism. Narcissists are both male and female, equally prevalent, but the shrinks call it by different ubiquitous names for women, like BPD. Feminists don’t care for this “equality” and try to point only to classic narcissism, the style that men have more of and deny women’s narcissism. This article is about the danger of female narcissists and how the system enables them.

            Men’s first instinct is to protect the women, and not to ever compete with them at all. Men only want to play with women as foreplay, not competition. But when men see women act masculine a switch goes off and we start treating you like Jim and Fred.

            Men rolled over when all the special interest Groupies got together, took over and started the plundering; we thought we were making women happy, to allow them to their play “man”. It was diverse and new. It was odd though. Seventies, eighties. It seemed kind of cool at the time.

            We will have to understand what women and men are and the weaknesses and strengths of both, which means the equality paradigm must enter the history can.

  8. This is nothing new, even if the number of destroyed children has increased.
    When I in April 1991 had my friend José Luis Gonzalez guest performing at the theatre with “Le vrai Guignol des Champs Elysées”, he told me that as a young man in the late 50ies, he had married a woman in Germany, and they had got a daughter (Make a search on jose gonzalez guignol. He’s still going strong!). The woman was of a very influential German family.
    The mother accused him falsely, and he was very close to be sent to jail. His luck was that a wise judge had understood the situation and helped him get out of the country.
    When the daughter was 25, she looked him up in Paris. He helped her get an aparment at the countryside, but there was little more he could do. The daughter was a nervous wreck and incapable of living a normal life with husbond and children.

  9. Interesting that the genders involved in abuse situation has, in some countries, just flipped in many of the cases.

    This is not true of Islamic countries, of course, where much of the worst abuse against women and children takes place.

    But I don’t think that “all” women invariably take the side of a woman. That’s not the case. Too bad the woman doctor in one example given above had to deal with PC and had her job at stake.

    I remember, years ago, when I had a temporary position doing counseling/therapy in a university counseling center, I was given the task of being on the committee which oversaw both new hires and graduate students seeking to enter the department. The atmosphere was stultifyingly PC. I got into trouble during one meeting when I was tired and suffering from lack of sleep which tends to make me blurt out what is on my mind: we were discussing admitting a couple of grad students whose candidacy was being promoted by a woman who had a lot of power in the department. She happened to be a lesbian and I really didn’t care one way or another about that. Regarding one of the candidates being pushed, I asked, innocently: “Is he gay?” I was immediately jumped on, angrily, by people who asserted, “What difference does that make?” “Why did you bring that up?”

    I tried to explain myself but was unable to extract my foot from my mouth. The real problem was that this power-possessing lesbian in the department was trying to pack the department with gays but, in the hyper PC atmosphere, no one was supposed to admit that. At all costs, the pretense of fairness and neutrality in the selection process had to be maintained. My innocent comment threatened to expose the game. The department secretary later told me that she almost bit through the pencil she had in her mouth when I blurted my innocent question.

    In an earlier era, white males might have been favored in a similar selection process. The roles are just changed/reversed.

    In fact, during the 1970s there were several studies done in which the same academic paper was submitted to peer-reviewed journals, sometimes under a woman’s name and sometimes a man’s name. The same paper was much for likely to be accepted for publication if it was submitted under a man’s name.

    There was another study in which artists submitted their works in a competition under randomly selected names, some male and some female. Again, works of art submitted with a man listed as being the artists were more likely to be accepted and win a prize in the competition. When works of art were submitted blindly, men and women won in approx equal numbers.

    Back to my experience at the university counseling center: Although I had received four, consecutive appointments to this counseling position, needless to say I knew that there was no point in my even trying to apply for the position again. I moved on.

    I must agree with Dymphna.

      • No I have not had this kind of experience.

        Looking at the situation you describe, it appears that in PC “liberal” western cultures, the pendulum has swung–and relatively speaking at lightening speed–from one extreme to the other. It puts me in mind of Takuan’s view that our culture has become unbalanced in a way that is opposite to the way it was previously unbalanced; it’s now too “yin.”

        Of course this philosophical view may be of little consolation to those having the experiences you describe in Family Law Court.

        Abuse is abuse. And unfairness is unfairness. Regardless of gender.

  10. 21st Century Western feminism which views all males as a threat is not empowering women it is isolating them how long before they are obligated to seek asylum behind a veil from the evil white man.

    Think this is a bigger picture than alcohol fuelled domestics.

      • @Marten Gantelius.

        The best way to expand on the point maybe in questions.

        What happens to a society that criminalises its indigenous male population as dangerous and unsuitable procreators?

        Will the indigenous females then opt out of that society crashed by multikulti feminism and in the PC manufactured fear of their own menfolk?

        Will the males of West then turn in on themselves creating the male/female structures and conditions of Muhammadan societies?

        • Thank you, Jolie Rouge

          There is the law and there is the practice of the law that don’t punish a lot of crimes, like female kidnapping of their children. Law abiding persons follow the law, criminals know and follow the practice of the law. I refer to my essay The Family Law Industry. When the authorities directlly recommend mothers to commit crimes and support them, it takes strong women to refuse.

          • The Family Law Industry – that is exactly what it is, part of the remedy is a hard heart, do not become a consumer walk away and let that industry fall into bankruptcy and disrepute.

  11. Being a man, going from younger to older, I’ve seen far too much of what is described in this article in my lifetime. It is by the grace of whatever God there happens to be and my own reason that I am neither a natural with, nor ape the behaviors, of the kind of male that turns women on. Thus, I’ve remained blessedly free of the worst of the current crop’s proclivities, though not entirely (to my detriment, I assure you)…and I still have my eyes and can watch as far too many of my brothers suffer and die while the children weep on…if they’re lucky.

    We have a generation of boys and men who are told they are the worst of the worst, the lowest of the low, put down at every turn by society, by their parents, with drugs like ritalin, and yet we must man up and give most of our adult output to those who do this to us, leaving little to ourselves. Should we protest, we are told to man up, suck it up, do your duty…or the full force of the State will come down on you. Assuming it doesn’t amuse them to do so at any time in any case.

    Destroying those who have historically built society will not end well for anyone. However, for those being destroyed, don’t think for a second they will take it laying down. The most screwed up part of all of this happens to be that Islam will provide these men with an alternative and a sanctuary for their own survival, if nothing else. And if that doesn’t scare the living $#!+ out of you, then there is no saving anyone.

    • The most screwed up part of all of this happens to be that Islam will provide these men with an alternative and a sanctuary for their own survival, if nothing else.

      Native males converting can be observed in Norway. Still is on a very small scale, but it shines through the media veil now and then. I presumed it to be mostly due to Islamic bullying and peer pressure in the environment where they grew up, and disillusioned Marxists joining the “right side” of the next potential revolution, but your comment gave insight into another possible explanation. Interesting. Stretching it a bit one could see it as the selfish gene at play again.

  12. “If I were young today, I would have rented a box at a semen bank and then got myself sterilized. That’s the only safe way to protect oneself in a society that supports severe female criminality against children and fathers. ”

    How is that a safe though? Once you and a woman, presumably joined in vows of life-long faithfulness and love, decide to have children, you’d be in the same situation.

    You could just take responsibility for what your body produces and use condoms, and you’d be as safe as via your sterilization scheme.

      • Well, if you won’t take responsiblity for your own body, then you’ll have to suffer the consequences.

          • Thanks.

            I don’t think you’ll persuade many young men to get the snip. Condoms, on the other hand, are pretty simple to use, really, believe me! I think you might focus on that option for taking responsiblity for the product of their bodies. Nobody should produce children uness both are totally committed to parenthood.

            If you find that an ‘incredible’ viewpoint, I can see where all your troubles start.

  13. Not a woman in sight admitting the harsh truth, which for example every single european lawyer knows.
    How many women have held “A woman’s speech to the man she loves” before getting married?
    Young men – get sterilized!

    • Get a grip on yourself. I realize that you have had a hard time, but giving advice to young men to sabotage further procreation of their own genes, is to give up and fold their cards for them, something which you hold no right nor obligation to do. Since you feel free to give advice, I will give you some. Come up with a better solution, or shut up. If not, you have founded another death cult.

      • I must agree with the bum. Preventing Europeans from procreating is literally the last thing we need.

  14. Marten, sterilization is surrender, and not the answer.

    I’m old enough to remember how all of this started. I’m an American baby boomer, raised in the suburbs by a good, provident father too old to have fought the Nazis save in the day-to-day civilian manner back on the home front and a devoted, if somewhat over-imaginative mother.

    My older sibs were the last generation taught by our schools that America was the great, good, exceptional shining city on a hill power. Then came the era of the civil rights movement, antiwar movement, and all around radicalism. They came to believe that America was the uniquely evil empire on the globe, and questioned everything–including the ways all of the human race had lived since time began.

    There was the free love movement–how wonderful it was for everyone until the girls found themselves pregnant and the boys moving on to the next one! The very next thing was an embittered feminist movement that made abortion (talk about mother love!–sarc) the sacrament of modern femininity.

    I thank God that both my wife and I fear the Christian God sufficiently to have let our vows hold over thirty years, until we are now grandparents together–and we have had our problems over the years, too. But we are rare, and when my young students ask how long my wife and I have been married and I tell them over thirty years, they are either shocked, incredulous, or both.

    I don’t know how old Marten is. But I suspect he is a lot younger than I. So, Marten, I heartily apologize for what my generation left for yours, and beg your forgiveness. We were not the men God intended us to be, and we left our women prey to the Old Deluder to the detriment of a whole civilization.

    When the conversation in one of my classes recently got sexual–you know how teens are–I took the opportunity to tell them about how sexual things are no laughing matter, but the God-ordained way of how a new generation comes into the world. Hence, to treat it as a game is to hurt others and oneself. I explained how the discourse and popular culture of our day is feeding them a pack of lies designed to keep them no more than children, with an increasingly overbearing state taking the place of their parents later on. I told the girls they were worth more than some dude’s insincere “you don’t love me if you don’t get out of your pants!” and that the boys were also being more like dogs or rats than like men when they thought they could just leave a girl with the baby. I told them of how I’d seen young girls and boys drawn into lives of prostitution dying hideously of HIV/AIDS before they turned 25. But I also told them that no matter what, they didn’t have to repeat the bad choices a lot of their elders had made; and I hoped they now understood why a lot of their elders are concerned about how they behave. Why, I had every mouth closed (except in surprise) and every eye riveted on me for twenty-five minutes or so!

    Marten, you have been royally scr—d, I admit. Your former wife and the doctor you dealt are exhibit A in the case that burning witches alive, or at least hanging them on the commons (after due process of law, of course) may not have been as bad a thing as our modern sensibility cranks it out to be. Indeed, I am just superstitious enough to wonder if the reason why Muslim immigrants are enjoying rape sprees in a lot of Scandinavia might not just be some kind of divine vengeance working itself out (gays, women–oops, wymyn–and Muslims now being the holy trinity of our post-modern idolatry).

    But, pleae, my friend, don’t give up.

    And, one little story from far away and long ago. As a US diplomat, I was having dinner in Aranyaprathet Thailand with some ladies from presitgious NGO working with displaced Cambodians (I was there idnetifying people eligible for humanitarian parole into the USA). All of these ladies were schooled as down-the-line feminists back home. But, guess what? They all noted that women and children inside Cambodia were highly vulnerable to abuse and exploitation because so many of the men had been killed off in over a decade of fighting!

    “And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.” (Isaiah 4:1)

    This isn’t celebrating polygamy: it’s giving the grim facts of life in a ravaged land.

    and we moderns Westerners are ravaging ourselves!

    • ” fear the Christian God sufficiently to have let our vows hold ” Really, that’s why you’re still together? I’ve been with my partner of 19 years because we love each other and want to be together. Not out of any fear.

      • “fear” is an alternate translation of “awe”. As in awesome, fear as in fearsome, etc.

        It’s a spiritual thing. Honest.

        • Guest and Dymphna: I make no apologies for using the word “fear”. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and I don’t think I need any anodyne new translation to appreciate all that the original Hebrew meant. Maybe the fact that too many Christians have substituted the awesome Father of the Scriptures for the “Daddy” of Macluhanesque “cool communication” is a big reason why the West has weakened itself so much.

  15. Sorry to hear of all these probems men are having with wives/ex-wives who put themselves ahead of their chidren or the men in their lives. What men need to do is find good women, instead of hot ones which seems to be the usual case. They are charmed by some charming girl/woman who is long on personality and short on character. Then they seem surprised when this happens.


    A woman of character, but short on personality.

    • Kepha Hor and Susan. We are talking about a hidden and incresing 100-million-children-genocide-in-Eur0pe-the-last-40-years. And when it comes to genocides – I make no exception if the rapists of chldren are female.

      • Marten: I get your point. Here in the States, we’ve been having a massacre of the innocents on the order of 50,000,000 and counting since the Supreme Court arbitrarily made abortion a “right”–and things aren’t going so well for the children who are allowed to be born, either.

        The Book of Proverbs says that the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel–and that’s exactly what we’re living under in both America and Europe.

    • Yeah, Susan, this is a big problem, and a good point. The good woman over the hottie. Easier said than done.

      PS. Why not comment on Marten’s treatment by government/courts???
      What this just about his CHOICE? Or women’s choice in governments too?

  16. Pick the right woman for the right reasons, get the right result.

    Pick the wrong woman for the wrong reasons, get the wrong result.

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