The Dog That Barked From the Minaret

The following article from Albania was published by Kastriot Myftaraj at his blog. Mr. Myftaraj (who is of Muslim background) has a bone to pick with Islam in Albania, and his manner of doing so has gotten him into trouble with the authorities.

Mind you, what he has to say would have long ago caused him to be tried and locked up for “hate speech” in Western Europe. This article was written several years ago, and I don’t know what has happened to the author in the interim.

Dr. Ilia Toli, who translated the piece for Gates of Vienna, includes this introductory note:

Some important points that he makes are the following: Nobody follows Islam in Albania. Loudspeakers mounted in all mosques just make Islam more harassing. Arabic is a dog barking to Albanians. The only observant Muslims in Albania and Kosovo are gypsies, and even they are opportunists, a rent-a-crowd. They are essentially rented through free distribution of sugar, oil, flour and the like. Then they are shown in front of the cameras to tell the world how Islamically pious Albania and Kosovo are.

The translated article:

When dog-barking at the moon is called religion

by Kastriot Myftaraj

June 4, 2010

If a bunch of dogs bark to the moon, this is a sight that nobody would consider spiritual, and that everybody would find ugly. If somebody were to show up in the Court of Tirana asking to create an organization with the goal of promoting an empowering of dog-barking, where loudspeakers would be placed to multiply dog-barking, surely the court would not allow this thing. Even though the initiator would come up with arguments related to the rights of animals, the court would hardly be convinced.

Nonetheless, dog-barking is an official religion in Albania, and in all Albanian lands on both sides of the border. The proof for that can be found five times day and night, when in all cities and villages of Albania around ten thousand loudspeakers placed in 2000 minarets bark in Arabic. In the whole Albanian space in both sides of the border, in the Republic of Albania, in Kosovo, in the Albanian part of Macedonia, Montenegro, Presevo Valley, there are around six thousand minarets with 25 thousand loudspeakers that bark in Arabic. Because one loudspeaker per minaret is not enough, they place at least four loudspeakers, one at each point of the compass. Moreover, in many minarets I have even seen loudspeakers on top of each other! For the Albanian ears unacquainted with this desert language, this Arabic mega-ululation is more like a mega-dog-barking. It appears that 25 trillion dogs bark in the Albanian space, on both sides of the border, five times day and night. The hi-tech mega-dog-barking becomes even stronger by the night, when the moon appears, which is in good agreement with dog custom, which is known to bark to the moon. Furthermore this leads to the belief that Muhammad, who is the originator of this custom, is not allowed to show his face, because he has been a dog.

Why is it that fulfillment of these Islamic rites by the believers must be accomplished with this mega-dog-barking in Arabic? Arabic might appear sweet to the Arabs, when they hear it from their megaphones in their minarets, but in Albania and in all Albanian lands, in both sides of the border, it resembles a dog barking, a cosmic dog barking. This hi-tech mega-dog-barking shows better than anything else how absurd is the existence of Islam in Albania. Because this hi-tech mega-dog-barking is not done by a group of Islamic radicals. No, this hi-tech mega-dog-barking is organized by the legal institutions of Islam in the Albanian space, Albanian Islamic Community, Islamic Community of Kosovo and Islamic Community of Macedonia [official names of respective communities — translator’s note]. The mega-dog-barking rises up from the minarets of mosques that are under the administration of these religious institutions. The president of the Albanian Islamic Community, Hajji PhD Selim Muça, has even earned a PhD from a Saudi Arabian university, with a dissertation on how to cover the entire Albanian space with hi-tech Arabic mega-dog-barking. That is, what power and number of loudspeakers are needed, in relation to the distance between various mosques.

And Hajji PhD Selim Muça attempted to perfect the Arabic mega-dog-barking as compared to his forerunner. Twice a year, in Fitr Bayram and Kurban Bayram, the leaders of the state, foreign ambassadors and other politicians go and send wishes to Hajji PhD Selim Muça, who feels very proud of his hi-tech mega-dog-barking achievement. The foreign ambassadors, obviously, do it with sarcasm.

In Albania the hi-tech mega-dog-barking is liked by a minority of persons who are practicing Muslims. The majority of Albanians, whose ancestors were converted to Islam through violence in the time of Ottoman occupation, don’t feel themselves Muslims in the slightest, and don’t practice that religion. For them this Arabic mega-dog-barking has no spiritual appeal whatsoever, and they are even disturbed and shocked by it. I even hold the belief that the more the leaders of Islam in Albania, and also in Kosovo, feel the number of their followers diminish, the more they escalate this Arabic mega-dog-barking, as if compensating for the ruining of their religion. This Arabic mega-dog-barking has the same function as the flour, sugar, food oil and other foods distributed by the mosques to the poor, mainly gypsies and Balkan Egyptians, so that they can serve as a rent-a-crowd in the days of prayer of Bayram in the square, in front of the TV cameras. Thus a spectacular view is created, and the false impression that the Islamic rites in Albania are followed in a massive manner, which is not true.

I am becoming more and more convinced every day that it’s not worthwhile to make a distinction among practicing Muslims, some of which are supposed to be moderates, among whom are the officials of the Albanian Muslim Community, on the one side, and the radicals in the other side. For as long as this Arabic mega-dog-barking is organized and executed by the Albanian Muslim Community, then for me even that is the same thing as the Islamic fundamentalists. Every mosque in Albania from which this mega-dog-barking arises is for me a machinegun of jihad, over the Albanian nation, over our dignity and future.

Every person for whom this Arabic mega-dog-barking is dear, that is, the practicing Muslim, for me is not an Albanian; he is the enemy which I hate, and I will fight. For as long as the practicing Muslim cannot do without this Arabic mega-dog-barking, I hate him. And will continue to hate the practicing Albanian Muslim even if this Arabic mega-dog-barking is forbidden by the state. Because the Albanian practicing Muslim will become sad from this prohibition, and will think and act to gain it back. The Albanian Muslim, who is dangerous because he adores this mega-dog-barking, will become even more dangerous when he misses this, because he will do everything to get it back. Albanian practicing Muslims, for whom this Arabic mega-dog-barking is dear, they are the Army of Jihad. Today they are not fighting a war because they are exercising the demographic jihad, it means, they are multiplying as a grouping in the society, through a high birthrate of children, whom they educate as fundamentalists.

This hi-tech Arabic mega-dog-barking, with its arrogance, must make us understand what its admirers will do tomorrow, when they become such a big grouping as to feel superior in a society, as an active minority. It is known that radical movements are created by active minorities. In the sound-bites of this Arabic hi-tech mega-dog-barking are found stifled versions of tomorrow’s speeches, on stoning uncovered females who don’t wear the hijab, for the obligatory dress code and beards for males, for the introduction of the Quran in school, for the Islamic state, for the Sharia courts, and for other things that would make Albania similar to Afghanistan when the Taliban ruled. The Arabic hi-tech mega-dog-barking is the anthem of Jihad, which rattles five times a day in Albania and in all Albanian lands. I hate the Islamic religion in Albania because it is self-identified with this Arabic mega-dog-barking, because it would call such a prohibition a violation. The Arabic hi-tech mega-dog-barking in Albania appeals to two categories of living creatures, practicing Muslims and dogs. At the time that the Arabic hi-tech mega-dog-barking starts, all dogs start barking within its radius. And because Hajji PhD Selim Muça, chief specialist of the Arabic mega-dog-barking, has designed it in such a way as to cover the whole territory of Albania, then as a consequence all dogs in Albania start barking. This is spread more widely in Kosovo, the Albanian part of Macedonia, Montenegro, Presevo Valley, and so five time a day in the Albanian space prevails a strange Arabo-doggish choir. According to the Constitution of the Republic of Albania, the Albanian state has the obligation to protect the national interests of the Albanians beyond its borders. Is this Arabic hi-tech mega-dog-barking a “national interest”? A nation whose space is mega-dog-barked five times a day in Arabo-doggish must not expect to be respected by Westerners. Is this Arabic mega-dog-barking to be accepted five times a day in the name of religious tolerance? Tolerance towards whom, dogs or humans? There is no religious tolerance towards dogs. But this Arabic mega-dog-barking is accepted in the name of religious tolerance. Thus, the result is that when the dog barks at the moon, it must be called a religious act. The Albanian Muslim Community offends and humiliates us all with this Arabic mega-dog-barking. And then the president of the Muslim Community, Hajji PhD (in hi-tech mega-dog-barking) Selim Muça, chief of chiefs of the hi-tech jihad in Albania, raises up and cites me in court for incitement of hate towards the Islamic religion, calling for national hate, distribution of information that causes panic! I have no hesitation in declaring, in media, prosecution, court, everywhere, that in full conscience and with all my intellectual and spiritual power, I will incite the deepest hate, the most extremist enmity towards the carriers of such a religion, which does the mega-dog-barking in Arabic, its supreme value. I have no hesitation in demanding de-Islamisation of Albania and Albanians, the legal prohibition of Islam, as the religion identified with this Arabic hi-tech mega-dog-barking. I will demand the de-Islamisation of the Albanians and the prohibition by law of the Islamic religion, even if this hi-tech Arabic mega-dog-barking were prohibited by law, because I know that those who organize it, do it and adore this Arabic hi-tech mega-dog-barking, would suffer in its absence and would do everything to get it back.

“The dog that barks doesn’t bite” is a well-known maxim. But the Arabic hi-tech mega-dog-barking warns of a terrible bite for Albania and the whole Albanian nation. The hi-tech Arabic mega-dog-barking shows that Albanian Islam has become a rabid dog, and rabid dogs are eliminated. This hi-tech Arabic mega-dog-barking five times a day has one advantage, that it reminds us the danger five times every day and night. I have warned and will warn of this danger.

Thus every prosecutor and judge must forget that I will submit to any investigation or judgement initiated by chief of chiefs of hi-tech Arabic mega-dog-barking, Hajji PhD Selim Muça. For as long as the General Prosecutor, Ina Rama, has her office surrounded with 10-15 loudspeakers from three minarets, that are situated at a close distance and diffuse with force the Arabic hi-tech mega-dog-barking, it is ridiculous to even take into consideration any decision of the Prosecution directed by her.

6 thoughts on “The Dog That Barked From the Minaret

  1. Wow. Speechless… And seems that the “dog barking” does indeed happen – for some practical examples, see here….

    How long will it be until dogs start being put on trial for “inciting hatred”? 🙂

  2. Wasn’t islam in the Balkans (mostly Albania, Bosnia) mainly adopted for reasons of convenience? Well, make them revert to the sane world this same way. We just cannot have mohammedans in Europe because they are incompatible. Everyone who has been brought up with the koranic venom is poisoned for life, and if he is a nominal mohammedan only.

    If they (or rather 60 % of the population, according to Wiki) really aren’t authentic mohammedans, then make them comprehend that revering Gjergj Kastrioti (turkish: ‘Skanderbeg’ = ‘Don Alexander’, referring to Alexander the Great) – who fought most of his life against the invading mohammedan turks – as their national hero and being (nominally?) mohammedan is paradoxically un-european. They have been free from turks for a hundred years so are under no obligation to continue being mohammedans. Where is the catholic church’s ‘Albanermission’ when you need it most?!

    And that gipsies should be mohammedans (even if they only pose like it, of which I’m not quite convinced yet) is the utter irony. Remember where they come from, and why they left? *)

    *) (from India, because of the mohammedan onslaught)

  3. PS: I wrote my comment spontaneously after having read the preface. Now, after having read the article proper, I would like to add that I am impressed that there actually seem to be european albanians. I always thought they were a sub-species of turks, ie since the ottoman conquest. Now please let us hear similar tones from Bosnia!

  4. Thanks very much, writer, translator and GoV, for once more bringing to us an insightful piece unobtainable elsewhere.

  5. When I was a visiting professor in Turkey, I heard the call to prayer five times a day. To me it sounded more like bahsnees wailing than dogs barking, but that may be just my impression. In any case, I figured that I could pray a Christian prayer when the call came, so I took advantage of the opportunity.

  6. Bravo! That’s the best bit of satire I’ve read for ages. So something else good has come out of Albania, besides Mother Theresa.

    My ears pricked up where KM says “ the majority of Albanians, whose ancestors were converted to Islam through violence in the time of the Ottoman occupation”. Perhaps the way forward in freeing victims from the pernicious grip of the Islamic cult, is to have them discover how their particular group, and thus family, came to be Muslims.

    There is a gap in my knowledge about how widespread Coptic Christianity was prior to the rise of Islam, but it is surely probable that Mohammed Morsi, for example, would be the descendant of a Copt. Did St. Anthony have children?!!!!

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