The Once and Future Mush-Brain

Prince Charles Update: On the possible conversion of the Prince of Wales to Islam, Mary Jackson at The New English Review says:

Prince Charles

      It is extremely unlikely that Prince Charles will convert to Islam. He is a woolly headed left over hippy, who talks to plants and believes in coffee enemas. His apparent fondness for Islam is a product of his wishy washy, mushed up brain, rather than any strong belief.

“Coffee enemas”??

Decaf or regular?

21 thoughts on “The Once and Future Mush-Brain

  1. Baron,
    They have to be regular, or they won’t make you regular.

    Caffeine is known to stimulate the lower intestine.

    Not that I have ever tried a coffee enema, or any other kind of enema.

  2. Drugs can be absorbed through the intestines. Caffeine is my drug of choice, but I’ll continue to drink it, thank you.

  3. Folks, I have to tell you what I was going to put at the bottom of this post before Dymphna talked me out of it. It wasn’t post-suitable, but I think it’s comment-suitable. Besides, Dymphna is asleep now.

    What’s the matter, Darling? Too hot?

    NO! Too much bloody sugar!

  4. As a friend of mine used to say, “nothing like a hot cup of strong coffee to get you going in the morning…though I’ve tried other enemas”.

  5. It is well to recall that French battlefield medics of the Napoleonic period established they could anesthetize a wounded soldier for the amputation of a leg in a rough and ready fashion by inserting a cigar up the patient’s rectum.

    History does not tell us whether those cigars were subsequently smoked for pleasure.

    Similar questions arise in the matter of Prince Charles and the Coffee Enema story.

    One Lump or Two? Cream and Sugar?

    And to think the guy was a rated helo driver. Didn’t he also graduate from SAS training?

  6. Damn – the baron beat me to the joke (of course, I’m a day late). My version ends with the victim jumping around and saying in response to “Too hot?” – “no, too G-D Sweet!) – Credit: H. Allen Smith – Buskin’

  7. I thought that I saw the “too hot? too sweet!” bit in an old R. Crumb cartoon.

    For Prince Charles, let’s hope his coffee enema is piping hot.

  8. I had this strange notion that the Brits kept the monarchy around as a fail safe against the possibility of their politicians screwing things up completely. Alas, after witnessing all the tawdry tabloid drama surrounding the royals, it would seem that they are even worse than British politicians. England, the mother country for most of my ancestors, seems to be swirling down the toilet bowl of History, faster and faster with each turn which, now that I think of it, brings me back very neatly to Charles and coffee enemas.

  9. I don’t know if this made it across the Atlantic – warning, some may find what follows offensive – but this same man once expressed a wish to be a tampon. I am empatically not making this up. We are so used to his bonkersness that coffee enemas no longer raise a headline, far less an eyebrow. I’m an instinctive republican, a meritocrat. But, but, but. Burned out politicias becoming President? No, thanks. The Windsors (they changed their name from the German in WW1) may have their share eccentrics and louche, dimwitted exploiters of the public purse, but it’s not much and they can’t actually do anything. Believe me, if they weren’t royal (what? I mean WTF is royalty?) social services would have been in there long ago taking kids away and teaching them how to be responsible parents. They open supermarkets and walk woodenly round other public events. Occasionally do something rash and end up in the tabloid press. But they’re figureheads, risible at times but harmless. The ones that matter, we can vote out. We don’t because we’re too apathetic, of course…

  10. Peter–

    Sounds like you are there on the ground. So what exactly happened to the royals? Too much inbreeding? Blood lines just played out. Ennui? Too much privelege and a feeling of uselessness? The recent HBO production of Elizabeth I portrayed her as a smart, ruthless, determined monarch which I believe is an accurate portrayal; there have been quite a few resolute, successful monarchs in Britain’s past. In contrast, this current crowd seems like a bunch of castrated poodles or escapees from Madame Tussaud’s wax museum. I have admittedly not followed the royal family that closely but, aside from endowing a few charities, I can’t remember reading of any real accomplishment by any of them. You would think that somebody would find a real job to do.

  11. Paul Johnson has some amusing anecdotes on Gandhi’s strange New Age habits in Modern Times. Prince Charles is not quite in the running for that level of silliness … yet. After all, he’s still proper British. But then again, Gandhi was educated in England, too.

    I must say, Prince William is looking better every day but let’s hope he skips a generation when looking to his ancestors for inspiration.

  12. I’ve been following this one for a while myself. Prince Uncharming had an “Islamic garden” created at one of his residences by one of many upper-class converts to Islam, Emma Clark. Clark also happens to be the great-granddaughter to former British PM Herbert Asquith. As Mark Steyn notes, this was the PM who led Britain against in WWI and “ended the Caliphate and delivered the Arab world into British hands”. Now one of his descendents is a convert, and she’s not the only upper-class Brit to be following this troubling trend. I’m not sure if Jemima Khan is still a Muslim, but she made a big enough splash when she did convert.

    “…Jonathan Birt, son of Lord Birt, the former director-general of the BBC, is also a muslim and is known as Yahya Birt. The Earl of Yarborough is a Muslim, and goes by the name Abdul Mateen…” continues Steyn.

    I had tracked down some other upper-class converts a while back, but I forget at the moment. I had planned a post about it. I just find this acceptance of such a religion so anathema to the West a VERY bad sign for “the Mother Country” as it were. Especially the rather high rate of conversion (relatively) among the more educated and well-to-do women, also occuring here in the US.

  13. I just took another look at the picture of Charles and it’s so fitting that he is wearing a hat the likes of which those cheap mechanical monkeys that clap together their little discordant cymbals wear too.

  14. I have to admit, my faith in the reliability of the monarchy has been shaken in recent years. Elizabeth embodies everything good about it. Charles seems to embody everything that can potentially go wrong, and it would appear he’s inherited it all from his father, who is a thoroughly slimy individual with very little common sense and even less taste. Still, there is hope; charles served in the navy, so there’s a military discipline in there, and he’s been inculcated with good old-fashioned anglicanism from birth (not the wish-washy pap they serve up today) so there’s a religious discipline on top of it.

    It isn’t enough to stop him being a complete twit, but it might give him enough sense to request that the throne be passed on to William…

    Incidentally, don’t believe the tabloid crap about the royals. Most of it is made up and the rest os blown of our proportion. It’s normally the equivalent of “young man gets drunk in club” or “teen goes to fancy dress party”, but with the shock – shock! – of them being royal.

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