“When a German is Aggravated Enough, a German Strikes”

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The following video was made by a German YouTube satirist named Hagen Grell. Despite the humor in it, his entertaining rant has an edge — it expresses a fundamental truth about the hidden undercurrents of German culture, using satirical means.

Many thanks to Nash Montana for the translation, and to Vlad Tepes for the subtitling:

The original video from HALG’s channel

Transcript:

0:02   Here is HALG! Did you miss me?
0:08   HALG is ANGRY
0:12   Beware Satire! This program includes cuss words and raw male language. Snowflakes and hipsters could fall victim to convulsive crying.
0:15   One year has passed since my last video,
0:18   and in the meantime our friends, the Nafris,
0:21   — the North African serial offenders,
0:24   as our police finally correctly describe them —
0:27   have gathered up a lot of courage!
0:30   “We can do whatever we want with the stupid Germans!”
0:33   Germany is by now the most hated trafficker of
0:36   tens of thousands of criminal North Africans
0:39   that come to Europe, and Germany is
0:42   the laughingstock of the Arab world!
0:45   “Oooh yes please culturally enrich me!”
0:48   HALG says NO!
0:51   From Hamburg, from Cologne, from Mannheim, from everywhere,
0:54   more and more police reports surface of cops who have simply had enough!
0:57   The way a mass of crime gets covered up by the ministry of the interior,
1:00   refugees being given free iPhones,
1:03   and they just redefine Nafris, North African serial offenders,
1:06   into Germans just like that!
1:09   People, this is enough!
1:12   “Hey old man why don’t you f*** off, Germany is mine
1:15   and my friends’ now, yeah?”
1:18   NO! No.
1:21   And just imagine this for once, today this puny little North African
1:24   approached me and pretends to be a badass.
1:27   Hello! One meter 70 maybe [5′ 6″], weighs barely 70 kilos [150 lbs],
1:30   and he walks up to me saying,
1:33   “Hey what are you looking at me like that for”!
1:36   Well, you should be glad I didn’t see you immediately.
1:39   Tries to be a badass, approaches me like that,
1:42   sees that I am not the typical wimpy, whiny German,
1:45   and then he walks past me like this.
1:48   Lucky you, buddy! People, this is the result of a lack
1:51   of proper upbringing, and that is partly our fault!
1:54   We let it happen that these half-baked hooligans
1:57   feel like kings here. We let them believe that they
2:00   were stronger than Germans.
2:03   Folks, we have to do them a favor
2:06   and drag them back to reality!
2:09   Think about it! All the Gutmenschen say, “Oh, these poor Africans,
2:12   I don’t want that anything to happen to them.”
2:15   Well, I don’t want that either. But I also don’t want some puny
2:18   North African to walk along and then think
2:21   he has to pick a fight with a guy like me.
2:24   Imagines I’d be thinking “refugees welcome” and want to high-five him,
2:27   and he walks directly into my high five,
2:30   and his North African glass bones would shatter like a porcelain plate.
2:34   What do you think of that, dear Gutmenschen?
2:37   That North African will be on your conscience, then.
2:40   Because you made him believe that he is the king,
2:43   even though he is not.
2:46   And that’s why, dear Gutmenschen and patriots, let us all
2:49   hold hands and sing Kumbaya,
2:52   and let’s teach the Nafris that they are merely guests in Germany,
2:55   and not the masters of the house,
2:58   so that nothing bad will happen to them in Germany.
3:01   Because I am telling you one thing:
3:04   Germans put up with way too much for way too long,
3:07   but when a German is sufficiently provoked,
3:10   and when a German is aggravated enough,
3:13   then a German strikes.
3:16   And where a German strikes once,
3:19   not a blade of grass will ever grow there again.
3:24   Hello, friends. Hang here with this new and drastic format
3:27   for the one-year celebration of my “to the German women” video,
3:30   many thanks for watching, and if you liked the video,
3:33   rate it up so that I know I should
3:36   continue to make such videos.
3:39   If you haven’t subscribed yet, subscribe now,
3:42   so you won’t miss any news, and if you have a bit of cash
3:45   please donate so I can continue to produce content like this.
3:48   Thank you very much, and until the next time: Ciao!
 

11 thoughts on ““When a German is Aggravated Enough, a German Strikes””

  1. Has HALG been arrested for thought-hate crime since he made this video? Surely, he must have broken some German law with this.

  3. Well, I´m sorry to say that these kind of manifastations don´t matter

    In a recent poll , the Merkel party continues at first place with mora than 30% iof rate approval meanwhile the opposition has less than 15 %

    so the future of germany is to complain about immigration eternaly

  4. Now if you really want to get arrested you should point your anger at those really responsible.

  5. “One German has clearly had enough….” Now if only he could get the others to think the same way; nor is it only the Germans….

  6. Well, he’s trying, but hasn’t quite nailed the Tough Guy act yet. Our Brooklyn Sicilians (or even Mexicans) (or Hassidim for that matter) might be able to make some money in Germany, teaching those guys how to do it. Hmm … on second thought, maybe not the Sicilians — they’re pretty mellow these days. Not the Mexicans either — that’s not a look of sullenness on their faces, it’s innocent befuddlement. The Hassidim, though — those are guys you don’t want to mess with. That’s what Germany needs. Hassidim.

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