Strange Bedfellows: A Surprise Move by Angela Merkel

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Chancellor Angela Merkel has just astonished Germany and the rest of the world by declaring her support for Donald Trump as the next president of the United States. Below are excerpts from an exclusive report published today by the English-language service of Der Spiegel:

We sat down for an interview with Mrs. Merkel in a comfortable anteroom of the Chancellor’s office. After exchanging initial pleasantries, we asked the Chancellor for her views on the upcoming American presidential election. She surprised us with this reply: “I have recently come to the conclusion that Donald Trump must be the next president. He is the only candidate who can possibly do what is necessary to save America and the rest of the Western world, including Germany.”

After pausing for a moment to recover from our shock, we asked her to explain how she had reached this conclusion. She said:

“It actually began more than twenty years ago, not long after the fall of the Wall. Like other residents of the former DDR, I had gained full access to Western media. In 1992 I started following the presidential candidacy of H. Ross Perot with great interest. I found myself supporting him — if I had been an American citizen, I would surely have voted for him.

“In later years I felt the same way about Ron Paul. His status as an outsider, a political iconoclast, really appealed to me.

“And now Donald Trump has emerged as the latest alternative to the political establishment. But he is so much stronger, so much more forceful! It makes him attractive to someone like me, both politically and on a personal level.

“The recent catastrophic situation caused by the entry of more than a million Muslim refugees into Germany has made me reconsider my immigration policies. I have come to believe that Donald Trump is right! Germany, like the USA, should close its borders to new migrants until those who are here have assimilated. And we must refuse all Muslim migrants until such time as we fully understand the nature of the threat they pose. To that end, I have begun an intensive study of the book Catastrophic Failure by Maj. Stephen Coughlin, so that I might become an expert in Shariah law. I especially want to understand what this ‘jihad’ is all about.

“Yes, I have to say that Donald Trump has made me see the error of my ways.”

Most other European capitals have yet to react to Chancellor Merkel’s abrupt and astonishing turnabout. Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán was the first to phone her with his congratulations, along with an invitation to come to Budapest for further discussions on these subjects.

Notably absent thus far, however, are any comments from the Quai d’Orsay or French President François Hollande.

59 thoughts on “Strange Bedfellows: A Surprise Move by Angela Merkel”

  2. A good one, you had me going for a few paragraphs – I figured that she’s so insane that you never know what she can do next!

      • Truly sorry to have been so negative.
        But my granddaughter’s birthday is April 1 — and around here it is a day of joy, and I never think of this day as April’s Fool’s Day.

        So I was caught off-guard.
        I love you two and the work you do.
        I really wanted to believe that Merkel had sense knocked into her; it would mean so much impending misery circumvented.
        I was in a way, crushed.

  5. Should have realized that this was an April’s fool when xe (s/he) mentioned Stephen Coughlin. Sounded strange. Was thinking, Merkel will say anything to repair elections home, including “all invaders will go home”, although she wants millions more to come.

  7. Oh Baron, you vicious b******!!!

    Until I got to the comments I was completely taken in……..

    Almost copied and pasted the first paragraph to immediately email to the wife.

    Thank God I read to the end…

    Hate you…..

  9. Hehe, not bad, Baron, I see your sense of humor is alive and well…..
    -West

  10. hehe, good one, Baron! I see your sense of humor is alive and well….
    -West

    • An even more outlandish one (perhaps) would be a news story about the Sunni Ulema and the Saudi royalty, in collaboration with the O.I.C., opening the holy city of Mecca up for a rock and world music concert this summer — “Rock the Ka’aba” — with headliners Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger (the only stipulation being that Paul and Mick must wear hijabs…).

  20. No [waste material],,, Il be damn,,,, :O

    And the Danish nationalteam player Nicklas Bendtner sign my club Vaalerenga lasst night… Halleluja.

    Have a good weekend fellows 😉

  21. I found myself supporting [Ross Perot] — if I had been an American citizen, I would surely have voted for him. == Political moron.

  22. This was an excellent story!!! Good thing it’s a joke. Great sense of humour, Baron!!

  24. Caliph & Chief Jihadist Angela Merkel is making April fool of Germans and of Europeans.
    Her real deliberate aim is to islamize Germany and rest of Europe. Europeans should not believe this satanic ugly old hag Merkel. Her next clever move is to swamp Europe with 80 million turks- she is secretely in collaboration with wily thug Erdogan to islamise whole of Europe. It is strong possibility that Merkel has secretely in her heart converted to islam. The greatest possibility is that stinking evil woman Merkel has gone insane due to her old age. Europe and Germany cannot defeat islamic terrorism so long this mad hag jihadist Merkel is free and at large. NATO officers should arrest her at once.

  25. I felt like I had to danse and sing because I felt so happy, but then I realised it`s 1 April and well… some remains of the good feeling stay…

  26. Gotta admit, I swallowed it as well until about half way through.

    But, than again, it’s now 0510 in California amd I still haven’t gotten to sleep yet…a bit of insomnia ya see, so I have an excuse.

    Maybe when I finally do get to sleep I’ll have this as some pleasant dream material.

  33. Snort! I read this before coffee. You had me taken in until she confessed to finding Trump attractive “on a personal level”. Happy April Fools!

    • I like to think that she has steamy fantasies about both Trump and Putin on a regular basis.

    • Credibility is stretched too far for us to believe the opposite to be true. Trump’s wife looks way too good.

  34. And yet I thought there was a small chance for us too survive this Islamic invasion!
    Harsh……..but fair…..Nice work tiger.

    • These days, that takes some cojones to do…

      But seems that G.I. have plenty of that. As opposed to most current leaders in Europe (the Hungarian PM excepted).

  38. About 17 seconds… I had already highlighted a sentence to copy-paste in an email to my Trump-scoffing friend when my eye read further, and I remembered the date… Then the bouncy April hope in my heart skipped a beat, and I lapsed back into …the cruellest month, breeding

    Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
    Memory and desire, stirring
    Dull roots with an Arab spring.

  41. Dear Baron/GoV,

    Nice one! But think about this scenario: Trump wins in 2016, she keeps on sliding, facing elections in 2017. Your April fools story could turn out to be a prophecy, she’ll do everything for power.

    Now, am I making an April fools joke?

    I enjoyed it, thank you

  42. This reminds me of an edition of the Colombian “El Tiempo” on December 28th some years ago, which is “El Dia de los Inocentes”, the local equivalent of April Fool, during peace negotiations with FARC when Andres Pastrana was president. The official head of FARC was pictured standing on a prominent Bogota landmark wearing the traditional Presidential sash and cape, saying that he was not yet convinced that that the government was serious about negotiating. Pastrana was quoted from the site of his provisional government in a Miami hotel, saying something to the effect that the government was still in control. Nowadays, the FARC is expressing fears that they could be killed by some of the new paramilitary groups if they laid down their arms as a result of the new Santos peace process, and the media seems to be sympathetic. Could the Government protect them? If only that were a joke!

  46. Sorry, but I don’t find this the least entertaining….or funny. It is a FAILURE!

  47. If only it were true.But Merkel is too arrogant to experience an epiphany.Although if she were capable of reflection on her severe errors of judgement she would indeed want Trump there to take out the garbage for her.

  48. I am a strong Trump supporter and he is my next President, but Trump certainly does not need the endorsement of this Bimbo, Merkel, who should be in prison for Treason against all of Europe for her Tyranny in inviting the Islamic animals to invade Europe! Merkel is on the beginnings of Dementia, which can be seen in her face and expressions. She truly needs to be removed as Leader of Deutschland and all her policies reversed! She has brought nothing but misery and danger to the people of Europe and although Mr Trump might have deal with Merkel business wise, he does not need, nor want her support! Lock her up in the Hague!

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